Utah Middle School Defends Outing Gay Student To Parents As Bullying Prevention Effort

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates have slammed a Utah middle school's decision to disclose a gay teen's sexuality to his parents.

As The Salt Lake Tribune is reporting, the 14-year-old boy's parents, who have asked that their names not be released to media, were notified by a teacher because officials at Willowcreek Middle School in Lehi say they were making an effort to be "proactive" in preventing bullying. "We do include parents any time there's a potential safety issue with a student," said Rhonda Bromley, a spokesperson for Utah's Alpine School District.

After the student revealed he was gay in a class assignment, an administrator talked to the boy and encouraged him to discuss the issue with his parents, to which he reluctantly agreed. “The student chose himself to make his sexuality known in a variety of ways,” Bromley told MSNBC. “And there had already started to be some negative feedback. If there is the potential for a bullying or a harassment situation, it’s the responsibility of the school to step in and to make sure the student is safe." Reportedly at the boy’s request, he was not present when his parents were told, MSNBC noted.

However, local news channel ABC 4 cites a text message the student apparently sent to a friend, which reads: "The next day, she calls me down to the office and … tells that she is going to basically force my (sic) out of the closet, by telling my parents that I am gay, despite my protests."

Although Bromley noted the student's parents have been "very supportive" of their son, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) criticized the school's decision. "Schools should not out LGBT students without their consent," GLSEN executive director Eliza Byard said, according to The Advocate. "Outing a student not only violates their right to privacy, but also could compromise their safety. Parents can be notified of their child being bullied at school, but without disclosing their sexual orientation or gender identity."

View a slideshow of recent LGBT bullying cases and other milestones below:

Comments

[Beachfun]

07:58 AM on 01/09/2012

what would they have done if his parents kicked him out of the house? Would the counselor have taken him into his/her home and cared for him for the next 4 years? I am totally against anyone outing anyone else. That is a very personal matter and should only be handled by the person who has to make the choice of who and when to tell anyone, if they ever decide that! Shame on this school, but then again..it is Utah. I am glad his parents were very accepting of him, and hopefully he will not end up another suicide statistic. This just royally ticks me off!

[choochoo2u]

11:46 AM on 01/08/2012

if my child made a decision to openly tell everyone at school something important about his/herself, i would have wanted to know to discuss possible consequences. If a school my child was attending saw signs of possible bullying I would want to know. Who wants to walk around feeding, loving, clothing and putting a child first before anything and not know what is going on with them? This kid is 14 not 18 and in college..If my kids skips too much school, I get fined. I want to be notified if he skips school. I think the school did the right thing. If someone hurts my child, I will take action.

[Nichole Victoria]

11:43 PM on 01/13/2012

It's not the schools business to out someone's sexual orientation. If that was your child..regardless of how accepting you are..your child would have wanted to tell you themselves on their own time in their own way. You don't give them that personal privacy they will hide everything else from you as well because you are being too nosy. You say it's being a good parent when it is doing the opposite because your child will never want to come to you again openly on their own.

[choochoo2u]

11:38 AM on 01/08/2012

hi

[firstcougar1]

11:27 AM on 01/08/2012

I think it would be more appropriate to contact the parents of ALL the bullies and tell them their children are in danger of being expelled for bullying other students.

[Beachfun]

07:59 AM on 01/09/2012

excellent point of view!

[Pamela Midkiff]

06:42 AM on 01/08/2012

I raised three boys, all grown now, all college graduates but more importantly kind, compassionate men. When people ask me "what was your secret navigating those teenage years?" My answer is the same, for those years and every other year I had the privilege of raising them. I respected them. That's it. That's all. If you want respect you have to give it. Clearly, this young man was not given that by his middle school. Can you imagine the scene in the principal's office? The teenager pleading to be heard and the adults dismissing him. Makes my blood boil. Were these adults just incapable of handling this in a way that honored all parties involved? Seriously, I just don't get people sometimes.

[firstcougar1]

11:28 AM on 01/08/2012

What a great posting and example for others.

fanned

[Leander Robinson]

12:13 AM on 01/07/2012

This school has to be out of their mind! Have they not set and read the news of parents scawlding their children, trowing the kids out in the street and worst yet trying to have them locked up in mental hospitals. Some of these people have even went as far as taken them to Buckmann's pray clinic. These people need to mind their own business and stop outing people because they have nothing better to do.

[booker52]

08:09 PM on 01/06/2012

This happened in Alpine, Ut a LDS stronghold, same town that voted down an anti discrimination law recently.

[loveis22984]

06:47 PM on 01/06/2012

Shouldn't the bullies parents be the one notified? What exactly did they expect to happen when they informed this young man's parents that he was gay, that would stop his peers from bullying him? A lil' A$$ backwards if you ask me.

[scorpieaux68]

02:35 PM on 01/07/2012

You just hit "the nail on the head". Too bad the school doesn't see it that way.... But then again, can you imagine what kind of parents the bullies have??? Maybe the gays have nicer parents.... "we'll just talk to them instead". I think all the parents should be notified and possibly meet together.

[SameBoat]

06:21 PM on 01/08/2012

Kids, gay and straight, male and female, are bullied all the time, simply because the world is full of bullies, many of whom run governments. This would have been a difficult case in any event, but a conference with the parents that the child was being bullied, and disciplinary action for the bullies, would have been appropriate. There was no reason to out the kid; this was something that probably would have revealed itself within the family. Apparently the kid was trying to come out when revealing in his class assignment that he was gay; I suspect he just did not know how to proceed without guidance. Difficult situation at best. This would be a good time to use a school counselor, even if brought in from outside to help the kid deal.

[MyP2PU]

05:13 PM on 12/19/2011

This is a travesty! What if the parents were horrible people and disowned their child for being gay or worse? What if the child decided to take his own life because he didn't want to face his parents? What a bad decision by the school. Perhaps the boy should sue the school.

[Brittany EG]

06:23 PM on 12/30/2011

Petition here -- http://www.thepetitionsite.com/2/Apologize-For-Outing-Your-Student/

[Nonpc1]

05:46 PM on 12/18/2011

The school did the right thing by informing the parents. They now need to get that boy in therapy ASAP. Also to monitor who he got such wacky notions from and decide his punishment. He is clearly confused and no doubt it came in part from media propaganda and garbage tv shows that promote gender confusion. They need to get him into a military school and sports programs as well as attend regular Church services to help straighten the boy out.

[TXanimal]

10:39 AM on 12/19/2011

Please tell me you're joking...

[Beachfun]

08:03 AM on 01/09/2012

sad thing...this person obviously has no sense of humor...or is just out to get all the comments they can for attention. But let me tell you...if I ever come across anyone that thinks like this, I am going to use my power as an RN and call an ambulance to come and take them in for evaluation because they are obviously in much need of psychiatric care...

[TXanimal]

10:46 AM on 12/19/2011

Apparently you AREN'T joking, based on your other comments.

Sexual orientation is innate. You cannot be "straightened" out by Jesus or the military or sports or anything else (spoken as a gay person raised in a conservative Christian church who was in the military and is a nationally-ranked athlete). And gender confusion? Yeah, that's not sexual orientation.

[Simply Red]

11:21 PM on 12/17/2011

I hope he isn't in any danger. I wonder how the students would react in the small community of Lehi where Mormonism is fluent and taught in the school. The Mormon Church seems to speak out on Gays and don't really support their lifestyle. I don't really think they accept being Gay as a norm. The boy might have a legal issue with the School now so maybe the ACLU will step in on his behalf.

[eliasasm]

05:30 PM on 12/17/2011

Really people? All of this hating and wasted time and energy and resources over S E X! How embarrassing.

[Newmom95]

03:07 PM on 12/17/2011

No only was this was not the responsibily of the school to "out" this kid, but wasn't necessary. I'm sure they already knew. At least them mom. Mothers always know.

[Dan Covey]

01:35 PM on 12/17/2011

The school was entirely WRONG. They have no right to disclose any personal info to anyone except the parents and then only if the student agrees.. There are privacy laws, even in schools, that cannot be broken. I see a big suit being made to enlighten this school as to its responsibility regarding a student's privacy . If you don't believe, check out your state's laws regarding, giving out personal info.

[RESXD]

07:30 PM on 12/19/2011

I'm a bisexual teen, and the school could have wanted to inform the parents because of the high chance of depression that the kid might get... but you and i both know that they most likely didn't even think of that before telling the parents. 'why i don't talk to my counselor at school, though a few of my friends (only a few friends know i'm bi) keep insisting i talk to a counselor, i refuse to. But it's all a-okay now since i'm not depressed. But i fear for the situations of many other teens like myself.

[Dan Covey]

11:57 AM on 12/20/2011

Good for you. But, I do know that one's perception of a problem is always colored by his background. A school's counselor has to operate under the same rules as a professional counselor. You do not share info unless the patient says O.K.(My 31 years of experience says so.) I still say The school was / is wrong and I still believe a BIG SUIT IS WAITING IN THE WINGS. The best to you.

[Seer Clearly]

11:17 AM on 12/17/2011

The school was acting to protect itself, not the boy. Protecting gay kids in the school would involve expensive things like a support group for gay students and public support for a gay student's club/group so that gay students wouldn't feel alone and helpless, even if they got no support at home. Expensive and probably too embarrassing or even unimaginable in Utah, but nevertheless that is what they should have done.

[Bob Kellerman]

04:40 AM on 12/18/2011

The school official was acting according to mormon practice

In those kinds of towns, judges turn over drunk driving mormons, etc to the local stake to re-habilitate, instead of sending them to jail

[RESXD]

07:34 PM on 12/19/2011

It's not expensive, all you need is a teacher to spend a half hour or so once a week after school with students who are gay and gay friendly. It only takes One person to make a difference to help make change at that school