Depression: My Story (VIDEO)

Hi everybody. Cara Santa Maria here. As we've been discussing mental health this month, I've read some pretty cynical comments on my blog posts about how people with depression should "just get over it." About how "we all get sad sometimes and it's hard to deal...what makes you so special?" Well, for anybody watching who feels that way, I have to tell you: depression is a brain illness. It is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.

Depressed people don't choose to be sick. They want to be well. They want to live full lives and fall in love and get simple pleasures out of simple things. If they could just shake it off or get over it, they would. Believe me, I know.

I know this not only because I studied it academically. I know this because I personally have battled with depression for as long as I can remember. For me, it took hitting rock bottom to realize that I had to prioritize my mental health if I wanted to get through my darkest days alive, and I really hope those days are behind me.

I used to think that I deserved to be sad all the time. I felt worthless, I felt guilty, I had just no self-esteem. I couldn't eat or sleep. If I started to cry, I couldn't stop. When you're in the grips of a depressive episode, you can't find pleasure in anything. Clinicians call this anhedonia; I called it not being able to get out of bed in the morning.

And trust me, I am just as wary of big pharma as the next guy. But let's look at the facts. Millions of people wouldn't be able to live productive, healthy lives without psychoactive medication. I take a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor every day. It ensures that I have enough of this vital neurotransmitter between my nerve cells. This is my brain chemistry, but depression is not a one-size-fits-all illness. Some people have problems with serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, or even a combination of all three. On the other hand, some depressed people don’t need anti-depressants; therapy alone may be enough to conquer their illness.

Depression is more common than you think, and there's a good chance that you or someone you love will be exposed to it at some point in your lives. I know I'm sick, but I also know that I am more than my disease. Depression doesn't have to be a terminal illness. If you are depressed, I urge you to take control. Reach out, and get help. You're not alone, and you can get through this.

Join us this month as we continue to talk about mental health and mental illness. You can reach out to me on Twitter, Facebook, or leave your comments right here on my column. Come on, Talk Nerdy to Me.

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Comments

[frank1946]

12:08 AM on 12/05/2012

Serious Depression is a threat to Life.

Stress and impaired functions make it so destructive to Happiness.

Group Therapy and Occupational Therapy help along with modern Drugs and Shrinks.

A few hobbies and recreational habits also.

Best of all, someone who will listen to your pain and worry, who cares about you !

And doesn't charge for it.

[vividrick]

09:57 AM on 07/18/2012

I have bi-polar, it's not something you can "get over"...you have to tame it like a lion...or demon depending situation.

[Reincarnation TPS]

11:24 PM on 05/30/2012

I hope your darkest days are behind you too..........

[desert warrior]

01:01 AM on 05/12/2012

Thanks for posting this Cara. I too have suffered for decades with major depression syndrome, and did not take medication for years, which cost me the loss of jobs, opportunities to study, friends and much more. In the end I was able to find a way to cope, along with some help from medication. It is unfortunate but one tries to pick up the pieces and get better, life continues. My depression has roots in my upbringing but I believe it was also worsened by concussions during my teenage and young adult years, due to contact sports and an accident in boot camp. Alas, one day I hope that depression and mental illness in general will lose the stigma, and people will consider mental health just as important as fitness. Articles like yours help others see that this can happen to anyone. Best regards, J.

[g9]

01:49 AM on 01/17/2012

A great book that could help hundreds of thousands of people is ...."last child in the woods..."
Please read this Cara .....its not too late...

[silverwolf13]

09:35 PM on 01/13/2012

Sorry that I didn't see this article sooner. I can relate.

I do hope that antidepressants work for most people. I am allergic to Prozac, and other meds caused side effects that were worse than the depression. Luckily, talk therapy helped me a great deal.

But I can understand why people go off their meds, even schizophrenics. These are powerful chemicals that can do powerful things to your brain, and they are not very well understood by the scientific community.

[emailmiracle]

09:00 PM on 01/07/2012

It is so nice to see an articulate successful young lady speak openly on the issue.

Many people who have not experienced that deep magnetic feeling of depression do not understand why you can’t “just get over it” but that is where empathy and understanding can come in handy, sometimes with a healthy dose of helping a loved one “get over it” by getting them help.

[davyjones2112]

08:56 AM on 01/06/2012

cold transparent blue.locked inside a room. in solitude. so black its untrue. so black its untrue.

[Endogenous Light Nexus]

03:50 PM on 12/25/2011

One of my daughters was recently very depressed for a prolonged period of time, and went to her doctor about it. She discovered she was low on Vitamin D, and began taking cod liver oil supplements providing about 2,000 I.U. Vitamin D daily, and now her depression is gone and she's in great spirits. Any idea how Vitamin D can work this way, Cara? Have you explored this alternative yourself?

[Boston 019]

12:27 PM on 01/16/2012

Good point. Modern medicine/big pharma are eager to sell people expensive medication without even doing something as simple as bloodwork to make sure the patient is getting all of their vitamins/minerals. Doctors just don't care anymore.

[Mbstru]

10:41 PM on 12/23/2011

I suffer from a sort of existential depression which manifests as an 'angst' about living in a Darwinian world of predation, cruelty, survival of the fittest, mortality threats at every turn, and basically a world without definitional meaning or purpose (from some absolute sense). I have driven counselors crazy because they cannot adequately address the philosophical/ontological conflicts which assail me. I have thought about trying SSRIs hoping that they will dull the 'need to know', as I do not see any hope in finding answers to these questions, and my depression seems atypical.

[Endogenous Light Nexus]

03:47 PM on 12/25/2011

You're not atypical, welcome to the club. Teabaggers depress us all.

[Boston 019]

12:28 PM on 01/16/2012

I didn't see them mentioned at all.

[Kathy Rusniak]

01:10 PM on 12/28/2011

This is not atypical. Many people feel this angst in relation to the very real hardships of life. The illness is in the inability to shake off the angst and find reasons for happiness to achieve balance. I personally find the writings of the Dalai Lama comforting and helpful in trying to sort out the purpose and nature of life.

[KGP]

03:11 PM on 12/23/2011

"It is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors." This means that taking anti-depressants is not enough to treat depression. Depression needs to be treated pharmacologically as well as psychologically. Not one or the other.

[shellfish789]

09:01 AM on 12/21/2011

This was an interesting video and I applaud you for making it.....depression has not favorites.....

You would never believe you have this illness...and I'm glad you have come out to let people see this disease has no favorites.....

thank you for the video

[Petebraun0]

07:09 AM on 12/21/2011

Cara:
if not too personal, what do you think may have been a non-biological cause of your depression? i.e.: I am depressed, but I am also the son of two holocaust survivors. I think some elements of my extreme depression were related to a lack of justice and hope.

Do you get depressed about pollution, politics, meanness, evil people, etc.??

Do you go to therapy/counseling as well?

Have you turned to any spiritual guidance or religion for help at all? i.e.: Zen, Dalai Lama, Buddhism, Christianity, or Judaism?

Thanks. Your fellow depressed, fellow writer, and fellow nerd. Peter

[Cara Santa Maria]

05:03 AM on 12/23/2011

Hi Peter. Thanks for your questions. I do have very personal life experiences that have undoubtedly contributed to my depression. I address these weekly in therapy, where I also discuss tools that I can use to improve my emotional functioning. I do not seek guidance in religion. I am not a religious person.

Major depressive disorder is rooted in the brain, but it is widely accepted that genetic, developmental, and environmental factors can contribute to the neurochemical, anatomical, and metabolic differences seen in the brains of people with depression.

[Kathy Rusniak]

02:44 PM on 12/28/2011

Hi Peter. I have similar strong and lasting feelings to those you mention above regarding justice, pollution, politics, etc. and have not found medication or therapy effective. While raised Catholic, I am not religious as an adult. However, I find the writings of the Dalai Lama very interesting and sensible, and even inspirational. There are books that talk more about philosophy/Buddhism and others that address specific issues such as anger and the reconciliation of science with religion. I also think like this type of reading because it is truly peace-centered as opposed to judgement-based and contentious as western based dogmas.

[southerncaliforniaguy]

05:46 PM on 12/20/2011

Brave and well said. Less rush to judgment and more focus on what we can do to help ourselves and others.

[Abelardo Perez]

06:49 AM on 12/20/2011

sexy lip ring. wow

btw i completely agree with you about depression. as a therapist, i see the ills and roller coaster people go throw when battling depression.