If Miami's decidedly un-wintery weather wasn't counter-productive enough, having Art Basel delay holiday party season a week does seem to leave Miami in need of a yuletide spirit jump-start. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas in line at Target, but it certainly doesn't feel like Christmas -- or Chanukah, or Kwanzaa, or Festivus, or anything else for that matter. If all you're up to is The Airing of Grievances, it's time to get an injection of holiday spirit before it's all too late -- and here's just the five places to do so:
Up Past Bedtime Movie: The Polar Express
The Barnacle
$3-$5; free under age 2
Monday, December 19/Gates at 6 p.m., film at 7 p.m.
Put on your jammies, grab a blanket, cooler, and flashlight, and head to the hammock Monday night for this motion-capture adaptation of Chris Van Allsburg's 1985 Caldecott Medal-winning Christmas classic. Written, produced, and directed by Robert Zemeckis, the film stars Tom Hanks as the conductor of a magical train that picks up a doubting boy on its journey to the North Pole. All aboard for the young at heart, but don't be too Miami: no one will be admitted fifteen minutes after the film starts at 7 p.m.
Holiday Ice Rink
InterContinental Hotel
$20 per hour for adults
10 a.m. to 10 p.m. through January 15
Oh, sure, it's not the only place to ice-skate in Miami, but there's something a little extra 'holiday' about ice skating downtown and outdoors -- not to mention it's the most wonderful time of the year to fork over a lot of cash to do so. The full-size ice rink is situated on the InterContinental's bayview patio, though it is tented (just pretend the white ceiling is snow -- snow that will never, ever ruin your 'do). Adding to the fantasy of ice skating in Miami is a line of life-sized Nutcrackers looking on as you glide, and on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, 15 percent of the ticket price goes to charity. Oh, and there's a bar, too!
Santa's Enchanted Forest
Tropical Park
$27.50 for adults
5 p.m. to midnight, daily through January 8
Terrifying? Slightly. After all, it's not often a cadre of carnies meet Christmas and produce a pop-up like this. But there's something wonderfully weird about Miami hosting the world's largest holiday theme park, and the world's largest holiday theme park is just so Miami, that it's impossible not to love. After all, where else can you find the Motorcycle Globe of Death alongside photos with Santa? The Enchanted Forest has it all, and it's a Dade County treasure.
Animals Opening Presents
Zoo Miami
Showtimes vary, weekends through January 1, $15.95 for adults
Also: Zoo Lights from 7 to 10 p.m. through December 23, $5
Look, there's really no reason Rudolph and his reindeer should hog all the animal glory at Christmas, especially when you can watch a meerkat opening a box of bugs at Zoo Miami. Every weekend in December animals unwrap gifts while you watch, and this weekend and next bring some really great stuff: great Indian hornbills working their way through papier-mâché prezzies, Asian elephants receiving painted coconuts, a "chimpanzee holiday surprise," and warthogs tearing through decorated treat boxes. No one will shoot their eye out, and it all should be super cute. Best of all, you can stick around until 7 p.m. and take a stroll through animal-shaped Zoo Lights with a mug of hot chocolate.
Hyatt Extreme Christmas
11201 N.W. 14 Street, Ft. Lauderdale
6 to 10 p.m. through December 28
There's no holiday lights viewing like the home of Mark and Kathy Hyatt, whose display draws thousands each year -- and a little bit of controversy -- to their Fort Lauderdale home. From handmade and hand painted lollipops to the 20-foot ferris wheel and a tree covered in 12,700 lights to penguins to a traditional nativity scene, there's almost nothing missing from the corner lot's crazy show of spirit (this year, they've even added M&M's). With a seasonal electric bill topping $2,000, you can be sure to blow your children's minds swinging by in the family van.