God Is Depressed And Drunk On 'Conan' (VIDEO)

It's a sign that the world is in crummy shape when even God has given up and hit the bottle.

The Almighty made a rare basic cable appearance on Thursday, appearing on "Conan" via satellite from a bar, where God apparently spends most of His time these days. And why shouldn't He? Everything he was betting on for 2012 -- namely Tim Tebow and Michele Bachmann, whom he personally instructed to run for president -- is going belly up.

Even Conan can't seem to cheer him up. For all of our sake, we hope that God keeps the temple clean in the future. A drunk God at the helm of the universe can't be good for anyone.

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Comments

[abbadabba]

01:11 PM on 01/09/2012

Mayans did NOT say the world ends Dec. 21, 2012. That is when a baktun, a 144,000 day cycle ends. This is the end of the 12th Baktun. And Mayans left text refering to the 14th Baktun, so all folks really have is the start of the 13th Baktun. I don't even think that's an unlucky number to the Mayans.

Now we "advance"' folks have what we call Ages, when the axis of the earth wobbles toward another of the Zodiac's 12 constellations. Unfortunately, we advanced folks can't agree on when the Picean Age ends and the Aquarian begins. It may already have, or it may be a few hundred years off. I say we party like it's happening this Dec. 21, 2012.

Get over freaking about the end of the party folks! Everyone knows the party's over when the beer runs out.

[Kritikos]

10:08 PM on 01/08/2012

One thing is certain--Conan is NOT funny......his show might be live ; but its sounds like he uses 'laugh tracks'.............

[firefly echo]

06:42 PM on 01/09/2012

I thought it was funny

[stjoshy]

08:06 PM on 01/09/2012

me too

[VinZenTexaN]

03:49 PM on 01/08/2012

Christian Rock still sucks . . . Now that is funny ha ha ha

The best part is that god is still NOT REAL !

[stjoshy]

08:06 PM on 01/09/2012

move along angry atheist.

[VinZenTexaN]

08:50 PM on 01/09/2012

I will stop when you and your religion fanatics stop ! Thank you

[crazydogchick]

10:47 AM on 01/08/2012

Think he's depressed now? Wait til he discovers that his intelligent design is basically, well stupid! He's gonna be pissed!!!

[WesStrikesBack]

06:12 PM on 01/06/2012

We'll see more of this as Americans become more comfortable with airing just how ridiculous the idea of God, Jesus, the Bible is. Took a few years to get over it, but the Bible is slowly losing any power over people as folks recognize that 3000 year old goatherding poems are not the best rules to live by.

God is dead.

Any evidence to the contrary is just death throes and people working out their fears and doubts.

[Blarg]

02:10 AM on 01/07/2012

He may be dead, but his friends like guns, so whose death throes are to be worked out one way or the other has yet to be decided.

[WesStrikesBack]

12:40 PM on 01/07/2012

Interesting. Sounds a bit Muslim, doesn't it?

Conversion at the end of a gun?

Glad to see Christians are so peaceful and humane.

Hey, if I lived in the Midwest I'd probably have nothing better to do than go to Church and ask the heavens for aid like an infant crying for it's mother.

[mynamesyow]

01:46 PM on 01/07/2012

Any evidence to the contrary is just death throes and people working out their fears and doubts.

WOW. thanks for clearing that up for the rest of us, you're like a modern day secular Immanuel Kant!

[nitwitsRus]

03:05 PM on 01/06/2012

yep
came up witha
response for that ONE guy
BUT
probably NOW
won't be able ta find
onna his comments

[YouDontWantMeHere]

03:08 PM on 01/06/2012

onna them
came up with this YEARS ago
and
FINALLY i mights getts ta use it?

[Milhouse901]

02:45 PM on 01/06/2012

that was so funny. hope God has a sense of humor.

[SurrealSequences]

03:02 PM on 01/06/2012

Milhouse901

He/She does have a sense of humor......NOT depressed at all but highly pissed that He/She continues to be portrayed as a Caucasian.

[Jaknik]

06:00 PM on 01/06/2012

Jews are caucasian...

[stjoshy]

08:07 PM on 01/09/2012

hahahahhahah. that was a good joke

[Wyldstaar]

01:12 PM on 01/07/2012

Of course God has a sense of humor. Just look at Australia!

[crazydogchick]

10:48 AM on 01/08/2012

and Texas!

[weebles48]

01:31 PM on 01/06/2012

lol conan is going to heck:)