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Madonna Badger, Mother Recalls 'Girl Tribe' During Somber Funeral

Madonnabadger

By KAREN MATTHEWS   01/ 6/12 03:41 AM ET   AP

NEW YORK -- Lily, her firstborn, was her "angel," her "life." Sarah was her "little whippersnapper, loved and lovable and full of love." While her twin, Grace, "fearless," often asked her mother if she was going to die before her.

Madonna Badger told her daughter it was "never going to happen."

"But it did, and I wonder why," she said during a eulogy to her "girl tribe" in New York City on Thursday. "Why my children?"

The three young girls died along with Badger's parents during a Christmas morning fire at their Connecticut home. More than 500 mourners joined the grieving mother at St. Thomas Church in Manhattan for a somber funeral.

"My girls are in my heart," Badger said. "They're right here. And that's where they live now."

Badger broke down several times as she described each girl in turn – Lily, 9, and 7-year-old twins Sarah and Grace – then wailed as she followed their coffins out of the cavernous Gothic church. She was accompanied by her estranged husband, Matthew Badger, and her friend and contractor, Michael Borcina.

Borcina was with Madonna Badger and her family when the lethal fire ripped apart their lives. He walked behind the grieving parents as the coffins were brought out of the church.

Badger's parents, Lomer and Pauline Johnson, also died in the fire.

Badger told mourners, "In all the incomprehensible loss and chaos, all I can hang onto is that love is everything."

The pallbearers were 18 firefighters from Stamford, Conn., who responded to the fire. Among the people attending the service were fashion designers Calvin Klein and Vera Wang, rocker Lou Reed and actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Madonna Badger is a fashion advertising executive who worked on Calvin Klein campaigns.

Stamford Mayor Michael Pavia also attended the service at a century-old Episcopal church.

Three blonde girls wearing pretty dresses laughed delightedly in a photo that adorned the program for the service.

Singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright performed a haunting a cappella version of "Over the Rainbow" during the service, which also featured hymns sung by St. Thomas' all-male choir.

A private service was held later at Woodlawn Cemetery for the girls and their grandparents.

Authorities have told The Associated Press that embers in a bag of discarded ashes started the blaze. They had been taken out of a fireplace so the children wouldn't worry about Santa coming down the chimney.

Madonna Badger and Borcina were treated at a hospital.

Fire officials have said Borcina is believed to have placed the ashes in or outside an entryway, near the trash.

The victims died of smoke inhalation. Grandfather Lomer Johnson also suffered a blunt head and neck trauma, which resulted from a fall or being hit by an object.

One of the girls, found dead just inside a window, had been placed on a pile of books, apparently so Johnson could reach in and grab her after he jumped out. Instead, authorities say, he fell through the roof.

Stamford police are helping fire officials investigate the blaze. Police said Monday officials want to know whether there were smoke alarms, the status of renovation work on the house and whether the contractor had permits.

The issue of permits could figure in the investigation because the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection has said that neither Borcina nor his company, Tiberias Construction Inc., was registered to perform home improvement work in Connecticut.

Contractors are required to register with the state, though numerous building and other permits are issued by local officials.

The agency said it did not yet have enough information about what work may have been done or completed and would not comment on whether it will investigate.

Facebook messages have been left for Borcina. Repeated attempts to contact him since the fire have been unsuccessful. He attended the service but did not speak to reporters.

Stamford authorities deemed the house unsafe following the fire and ordered it torn down the day after.

Fire Chief Antonio Conte said the fire was Stamford's deadliest since a 1987 blaze that also killed five people.

___

Associated Press writer John Christoffersen in Connecticut contributed to this report.

.

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09:43 AM on 01/10/2012
We have a lot of facts, actually. The fire spread so quickly because of the older style construction in that 100+ year old house. New houses are built with fire barriers between floors and rooms which slows the spread of fire. This very old house didn't have any of that so it's very easy for the fire to spread quickly & for the house to become like a chimney. So many things could have been done to avoid this tragedy. If the house had had working smoke detectors, more would have survived. Or if the house hadn't had windows blocked by scaffolding. If they had said "Santa is magic & can't get burned" to the worried kids, they wouldn't have cleaned the fireplace. Or if they'd handled the ashes correctly, it wouldn't have happened.
09:55 PM on 01/09/2012
Some think that there's more to this story than meets the eye.
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1738854/pg1?regp=bm9fMTMyNjE2MzI3NA==
02:46 AM on 05/06/2012
Finding a boogie man behind every bush are ya'?
01:56 PM on 01/09/2012
This is truly tragic. I prayer that these lovely children and their grandparents are at peace. Having said that, this was a stupid, needless mistake. Hot ashes near a building? Every cub scout knows that the coals of a campfire must be completely cooled before anyone can leave the camp grounds. So I question the contractor's intelligence. I cannot imagine what Ms. Badger is going through and I hope that oneday she and her ex-husband will find some semblance of peace. However, it's questionable that she and her boyfriend/contractor were the only ones to escape this horror. It does not look good.
11:49 PM on 01/08/2012
There are a lot of cruel comments and speculation on here. This woman and her boyfriend are truly suffering. They just happened to make a terribly dumb and deadly mistake. Maybe they were too exhausted and too tired, that they just weren't thinking straight. After all it was 3 am, and maybe they had spent the entire day shopping, decorating, cooking, or having fun for the last 3 days before Christmas day. I really feel sorry for both of them. Everyone is scrutinizing and dissecting their every moves and comments that it's absurd. You should read the comments on other websites, it's much worse and horrific.

The only way this woman can ever have a happy ending is if she and Borcina end up marrying and having another child or adopting. Or she can have a child with or without him. I know she's older, but she can always do IVF. That's how Elizabeth Edwards eased her grief after her teenage son died, when she had babies in her 50s, I think she was. There will always be an ache in her soul every day of her life, until she dies, but to have another child will ease some of the overwhelming sorrow and misery. Children are such joyful creatures that no matter how expensive they are in today's society, a lot of people choose to have babies and children because they can bring such joy to a parent's life. All her money & success means nothing without her 3
09:02 PM on 01/08/2012
This is such a heartbeaking story. And it didn't have to happen. My heart breaks when I see the photos of those sweet little girls and their grandparents and of Michael Badger. I think what bothers me is what is bothering many other people ... that they should not have been occupying the house until final inspection, that Mrs. Badger shoud have made certain Mr. Borcina was licensed in the state of Connecticut, and that there should have been temporary smoke alarms in the house until the planned security and fire safety equipment was up and running. And of course, those fireplace ashes should most certainly have been doused with water and put far away from the house. I also think we are looking for some kind of accountability ... I have to say that one thing that bothered me, or that I took note of (I'm a family therapist) was the use of the word "my" in "my daughters." I found myself wondering why she didn't refer to their sweet girls as "our" daughters. Time will tell more ... I am thinkiing there will probably be an investigation into Mr. Borcina and his company. It was difficult to see him there, right near Mr. Badger, whose palpable grief was so evident. It was heartbreaking to see. May the girls and their grandparents rest in peace.
11:17 AM on 01/09/2012
Agree. If you are a family therapist, I also found it odd when she told the firemen who were attempting to rescue her family: "My entire life is in there." No, her children and parents' lives were in there, and most people would have screamed "My children and parents are in there!!" Her statement seems bizarre and coming from a narcissistic point of view, and almost sounds like she's turning those trapped individuals who are about to lose their lives into objects. Very troubling, among many other strange statements and behavior both before and after this horrific tragedy. And the way Madonna B. showed up at the funeral arm-in-arm with the contractor boyfriend who is responsible for their deaths, flaunting their relationship in front of the grieving father.

I could go on......
11:33 AM on 01/26/2012
There is an article online that describes how the firefighters cannot get Ms. Badger's screams out of their head. She was screaming "My babies! My babies!" You weren't there and neither were the writers of the articles...you don't know minute by minute what anyone's actions or reactions were on the scene....just the blurb you are reading in an article written by someone who was NOT THERE. Stop forming opinions based on second hand reporting and give this woman the benefit of the doubt. Stop picking apart words spoken in a moment of crisis and shock.
03:43 PM on 01/08/2012
GOD BLESS THOSE SWEET ANGELS THAT PERISHED UNNECESSARILY IN THAT HORRIFIC FIRE.OK THIS IS MY TAKE ON THIS TRAGEDY.MY THEORY IS A CONTRACTOR THAT IS LICENSED AND WORKING ON THIS $1.7M DOLLAR VICTORIAN HOME SHOULD KNOW THE BASICS ABOUT HOW A FIRE CAN START ANY BOY SCOUT OF THE AGE OF 13 CAN TELL YOU THIS. TO TAKE EMBERS, & PUT THEM NEAR A HOME LIKE THAT CAN IGNITE IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. HE KNEW THAT THE HOUSE WAS OVER 100 YEARS OLD AND IN CASE OF A FIRE IT WOULD GO UP LIKE A TORCH! (WITH HIS EXPERIENCE) IS HE AN IDIOT? I DOUBT IT. HE OBVIOUSLY KNEW THAT THERE WERE NO FIRE ALARMS OR IF THERE WERE THE BATTERIES WERE DEAD. HE HAS A WOMAN WITH MONEY. TAKE OUT THE FAMILY AND HE AND HER WOULD BE THE ONLY ONES LEFT. IT LOOKS LIKE A VERY WELL PLANNED SCHEME. (FOLLOW THE $$$) HE IS NOT JUST SOME JOE OFF THE STREET. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. TOO BAD MADONNA DIDN'T. LOOK TO BORCINA 4 ANSWERS!
09:07 PM on 01/09/2012
Please stop writing in all capital letters. Before even reading a word, you come across as foul, and if someone does read what you have to say (which I did not), it is diminished by your own hand.
02:07 PM on 01/08/2012
As a parent of 2 children my heart really goes out to the family. A tragedy beyond words. What did upset me was the public display of closing down 5th ave, public funeral, Rupert Wainwright singing, Philip Seymore Hoffman and the 18 firefighters who never knew the children carrying the caskets. This funeral became a PR show. NYC elite at their best... all for the cameras. Do you think Madonna wrote the eulogies or did she have a copywriter do it?
If this was a family in Alabama or Detroit or anywhere else this would not be front news in the NY Times.
12:44 PM on 01/08/2012
Very sad... My heart goes out to her. I can not imagine the emptiness she must feel.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
madcityy
11:47 AM on 01/08/2012
FIRE SAFETY IS FOR EEVERYONE,,,,,,,DONT BE CARELESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
11:58 PM on 01/08/2012
I have a relatively new townhome with water sprinkler system, but even I spent a measly $78 on a 3rd story fire escape ladder for my home after I heard about this tragedy. I even made my husband test all our fire alarms. Plus everyone needs to buy carbon monoxide alarms, in addition to smoke detector alarms. We bought 2 after my baby was born.

The sad thing is that Madonna's home with its big yard overlooking the water would have been perfect for a dog, and that dog could have barked its head off to maybe save more lives...Too many should have and could have's with this sad story.
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10:01 AM on 01/10/2012
Dogs aren't smoke detectors. If the house had had working smoke detectors, the family would have likely survived. A dog stuck in that house probably would have died, too.
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KickstandCat
Christian, therefore Liberal
11:00 AM on 01/08/2012
Madonna, my heart cries for you. I have no imagination of what you are going through. I believe your family is together in an awesome state of being. God Bless you and help you.

Michael, My heart cries for you too. You were not doing evil. You were removing cinders from the fireplace so Santa would not be burned. So innocent, for the children. How can you be faulted? You were only doing good. God Bless you and help you too.
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Patricia Cash
Yellow Dog -Progressive-
10:38 AM on 01/08/2012
Yesterday in her hometown of Louisville Ky was a memorial /wake service .She reconnected with old friends I was told . She cried ,smile and laughed according to what I was told.
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StrawHat
Eat veggies, don't vote for them
08:28 AM on 01/08/2012
I was in a Christmas morning fire that was started in an equally "stupid" way -- flammables in a box falling against a nearby gas-fired water-heater.

People make mistakes. That's why we have the word "accident" in the English language.

No one died in my fire, but we were all older teens to young-ish adults, strong, fit -- and it was daylight, not the middle of the night. Nevertheless, we were in grave danger and the house was destroyed.

I know this will fall on deaf ears, but I wish people would stop blaming the victims all the time. Unless you're a professional actually investigating the fire, save your vitriol for your journal or your therapist's office, and stop spewing it at strangers on-line every time someone is hurt or dies.
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04:12 AM on 01/08/2012
The cynical, suspicious posts here are REPUGNANT! Go back to your tabloid TV people!
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GirlInNYC
A girl in NYC
12:42 AM on 01/08/2012
Heartbreaking.
08:34 PM on 01/07/2012
I can't help but to wonder why did only the mom and boyfriend survive? No one else?
makemesmile
it makes you wonder
02:44 AM on 01/08/2012
Why weren't the discarded fireplace embers placed into a metal container and watered down with water so they would die out? This story from the wife and her contractor/lover sounds very suspicious to me. Is the wound on the grandfather's head the result of his daughter or her lover hitting him with a blunt object?
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KickstandCat
Christian, therefore Liberal
11:03 AM on 01/08/2012
Perhaps you would feel better if they had perished along with the other.
12:43 PM on 01/08/2012
My God, I know!