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Open Marriage: Newt Gingrich's Ex-Wife Says He Proposed Extramarital Arrangement

Open Marriage

First Posted: 01/19/12 11:38 PM ET Updated: 01/19/12 11:38 PM ET

Despite expectations that the GOP debate in South Carolina on Thursday might turn into "open marriage night," Newt Gingrich was "appalled" when CNN's John King started off with a question about allegations from his ex-wife, Marianne.

King asked Gingrich if he would like to respond to Marianne's recent charges that he once sought an open marriage with her in order to continue his affair with Callista Bisek, now his third wife. Newt told King that he would respond even though he would rather not.

"I think the destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office. And I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that," Newt said as the audience gave him a standing ovation. "Every person in here knows personal pain. Every person in here has had someone close to them go through painful things."

Newt claimed that Marianne is lying in hopes of hurting his chances in the South Carolina primary on Saturday.

"To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary, a significant question in a presidential campaign, is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine," he said.

In a Nightline interview airing Thursday, Marianne tells ABC's Brian Ross that while she was married to Newt, he asked for her blessing in continuing his affair with Callista.

GINGRICH: I said to him, we've been married a long time. And he said, yes, but you want me all to yourself. Callista doesn't care what I do.

ROSS: What was he saying to you, do you think?

GINGRICH: He was asking to have an open marriage, and I refused.

ROSS: He wanted an open marriage.

GINGRICH: Yeah, that I accept the fact that he has somebody else in his life.

ROSS: And you said?

GINGRICH: No. No. That is not a marriage.

Open marriage describes as an arrangement in which both partners are free to have sex with others. Communication and honesty -- before engaging in traditional sorts of infidelity -- are generally considered key.

Columnist Dan Savage called Newt out on his retroactive open marriage request.

"Technically you're not asking your wife for an open marriage if you've already been fucking another woman for six years," he wrote on his blog. "You're presenting your wife with an ultimatum. That doesn't make you a proponent of open marriage, Newt, it makes you a CPOS."

According to The Washington Post, Newt's daughters from his first marriage wrote to ABC asking for Marianne's interview to be spiked because they believe the open marriage story is untrue.

"The truth is our father and Marianne had a difficult marriage. They had a difficult divorce," Kathy Lubbers told ABC. "The American people have moved on. Our father has moved on."

Whether or not Marianne's story is true, King told HuffPost it's part of the conversation and needed addressing. After the debate, he defended his decision to cut to the chase on the open marriage questions on the basis that you're "damned if you do, damned if you don't."

"I don't read minds," King said. "I don't want to make a judgment about the Speaker's response. I've been covering politics for 25 years. I understood that if I asked the question he was not going to be happy with it and he was going to turn on me."

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Despite expectations that the GOP debate in South Carolina on Thursday might turn into "open marriage night," Newt Gingrich was "appalled" when CNN's John King started off with a question about allega...
Despite expectations that the GOP debate in South Carolina on Thursday might turn into "open marriage night," Newt Gingrich was "appalled" when CNN's John King started off with a question about allega...
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07:48 PM on 01/23/2012
Dr. Mimi Schippers, Gender and Sexuality Sociologist at Tulane University, wrote a GREAT piece about this issue. Finally, an educated, sociological critique of the whole Newt Gingrich "open marriage" news story. http://www.marxindrag.com/Marxindrag/Blog/Entries/2012/1/23_Newt,_Hetero-Masculine_Privilege,_and_Non-Monogamy.html
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hwoodude
06:24 AM on 01/21/2012
"Every person goes through personal pain" states "Coot" Gingrich. Duhhh?

That's an intelligent observation! How many politicians - twice divorced - have run for President of the United States of America?! And have been married three - count'em - times?

Also pilgrims, if a man lies and cheats on TWO ex-wives out of three wives....you know "love, honor and obey!!!....what would he do to you and me...whom he doesn't even know and hasn't even met!!

Well?

President Gingrich?

Yeah, right!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dztmseh70
Live and let live
03:12 PM on 01/20/2012
Pompous far right social conservatives like to parrot that "marriage is between one man and one woman", however, in the case of Newt, one could say he prefers "marriage between Newt and one woman at a time plus a little extra on the side if his current wife agrees." One wonders how Calista would respond if he came to her with the same request. It is beyond me how this pompous little man has been able to find so many woman to "love" him.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sharyn350z
"It's a TRAP!"
08:22 PM on 01/22/2012
Not to mention that Newt began his affair with Callista (a staffer) while he was AT THE SAME TIME actively campaigning to have Bill Clinton impeached due to the fact he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky (a staffer) - uh.......hello? Pot calling the kettle....you're black.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rkoenn
11:33 AM on 01/20/2012
Integrity and morality means standing by your sick wife, that is the times when your marriage vows stand true, "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, et.al. Maybe Newt just has Palin moments, when the going gets tough, take the money and run. Newt is the same guy who tried to take Clinton down while he was out gallivanting as well. I think it is a fair question considering Newt's background. Newt should know as well as anyone running for a high political office that these things are going to be thoroughly vetted. Did he have any problems vetting it when he was speaker? But his only bully, bully recourse was to do exactly what he did. Act like a man scorned, sorry Newt, it doesn't work for me and maybe the religious right ought to consider it as well. Have fun Newt, who will be your next wife?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Seablue2u
I'm an idealist without illusions. JFK
02:06 PM on 01/20/2012
I couldn't agree more. Newt is one of those people who commands his minions to do as he says, not as he does. Poor Callista. Her day is surely coming--probably soon after Newt's resounding defeat, which will no doubt bring on much huffing, and puffing, and blowing, and pouting, and stomping of feet, and wrenching of hair, and collecting of toys, and going to heck home. So THERE America---you won't have Newt Gingrich to kick around anymore--to borrow a turn of phrase.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hwoodude
06:39 AM on 01/21/2012
Imagine being a foreign head of state, meeting with "President Gingrich" about serious and important negotiations and realizing that he has lied and cheated on two ex-wives. Would you question his integrity and trustworthiness in his dealings with you, who he barely knows
and seldom sees?

Would you wonder if Gingrich would want an "open" political relationship with you?!
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
dawlishgal
11:29 AM on 01/20/2012
Somebody in comments just chastised me for failing to mention Charlie Rangel when I criticized Gingrich's ethical lapses.

You conservatives have a handy file of liberals to pull for specific (relatively) small potatoes misdeeds, in order to wallpaper over the massive ethical lapses of your own guys. Gingrich not only dumped two sick wives in favor of long-term mistresses, but he was reprimanded and fined for ethical lapses, and the punishment came from an overwhelming number of congressmen and women, including those from his own party.

Why would we want to choose a president who has had so many ethical problems and so many failures to respect his marriage vows? What is there about Gingrich that is so appealing NOW, besides his sense of victimhood and his thinly- veiled racism? Of course, people can change, but hoping and expecting that Gingrich has or will change for the better is a high risk assumption when he is running for the most powerful job in the history of the world.
09:43 PM on 12/25/2012
Odd that no one in the news has asked Obama about his previous sex life.
10:06 AM on 01/20/2012
I think the destructive, vicious, negative nature of a guy who ditches older wives for younger ones makes it harder for him to ever get elected President.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Earl Gray
Lighting up straw men everywhere
09:26 AM on 01/20/2012
"To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary, a significant question in a presidential campaign, is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine," he said.

Can you imagine asking your sick wife to tolerate your infidelity? Can you imagine leaving her (and her predecessor) when (because?) they were sick?

Can you imagine calling for the impeachment of an elected official because of his infidelity while carrying on an extramerital affair at the same time?

Mr. Gingrich, you don't have the imagination to be a good president.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Seablue2u
I'm an idealist without illusions. JFK
02:09 PM on 01/20/2012
Hear, Hear!
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saortolani
Firmly rooted in reality
09:04 AM on 01/20/2012
Newt, the media attacks you because, well, you are a target-rich environment
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
EdinFL
It is what it is.
09:03 AM on 01/20/2012
Newt left his second wife for a Wax Museum piece.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SoapboxKing
03:30 PM on 01/20/2012
One that basically runs his life and campaign. She does not trust him to go out on his own.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
EdinFL
It is what it is.
03:56 PM on 01/20/2012
I'd love to hear her speak, not about Newt.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
akrazyrunner
Be bold, courageous.Americans are counting on you
08:53 AM on 01/20/2012
"Newt, it makes you a CPOS."
It took me a minute to figure out what CPOS meant
then I considered the source and the subject matter
and it all became perfectly clear
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
clarkesq
08:46 AM on 01/20/2012
So try to deflect from your own behavior and attack the messenger. Then get applauded for your immorality by the political party that claims to endorse moral living (even if they have to force people to do so). No thanks to Newt and the GOP.
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Col Hogan
What is this man doing here?
08:45 AM on 01/20/2012
"Every person in here has had someone close to them go through painful things."

Yes, but most people don't deliberately choose to make someone close to them go through painful things.
Cheating is a choice Newt made for years, in two marriages.
He needs to live with the consequences.
08:44 AM on 01/20/2012
The Newt is outraged, that he was given a chance to respond to his ex-wife's allegations.

His "shoot the messenger" approach indicates, two days was not enough time to come up with a decent answer.
08:42 AM on 01/20/2012
Everyone should be commenting on the phony family values people who what to dictate how everyone else should conduct their lives yet support a candidate who has openly lived a life directly opposed to what their supposed ideals dictate. The fact is Newt does what he wants to whoever he wants and has lived his entire life in that manner but this is not a reflection on Newt's character as it is what it is but rather a reflection on all these so called family value Klans.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
djaikins
08:40 AM on 01/20/2012
Interesting photo of Gingrich and his wife. She looks like she is thinking about Newt, and he looks like he is thinking about Newt.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SoapboxKing
03:32 PM on 01/20/2012
I thought it was one of those patronizing "yes dear" moments that seem to get us men in so much trouble all the time.