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Sex After 50: Surprising Findings About Sex in Midlife

Sex After 50

The Huffington Post   First Posted: 01/20/2012 2:55 pm Updated: 05/16/2012 2:23 pm

Post 50 singles want sex, and they want it often. Given that people over 50 are the biggest growing group in online dating and the most likely to use match-making sites, it's no surprise that sex is on their minds. In fact, a new survey by dating site OurTime.com found that 97 percent of midlifers consider regular sex important for their romantic relationships. And single post 50s aren't seeking sheet action every now and then -- 65 percent of those surveyed want it two to three times a week.

Of course, single boomers aren't the only ones getting down. In fact, this week on "The Today Show" (see the video in the slideshow below), Dr. Pepper Schwartz -- AARP's sex and relationship ambassador -- revealed that married people have the most sex. And guess who's loving sex more later in life? Women. "After 70 if you look at men and women, women are more satisfied than men," Schwartz told "The Today Show."

Married or not, post 50s seeking active sex lives may have concerns about engaging in frequent sex because of medical issues, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. But recent advice from the American Heart Association on heart conditions and sex may provide midlifers with greater clarity. According to the Associated Press:

In its first science-based recommendations on the subject, the American Heart Association says having sex only slightly raises the chance for a heart attack. And that's true for people with and without heart disease.

Surprisingly, despite the higher risk for a heart patient to have a second attack, there's no evidence that they have more sex-related heart attacks than people without cardiac disease. ...

Heart patients should get a doctor's OK before engaging in sexual activity. Many may be advised first to do cardiac rehab - exercise while being monitored for heart symptoms, to improve heart strength and increase physical fitness. But the heart association says most eventually will be cleared to resume sexual activity.

Those with heart issues should consult their doctors before jumping in the sack, but sex is actually a small risk factor for heart attacks. "The risk of having a heart attack during sexual activity is two to three times higher than when not having sexual activity. However, this increased risk of heart attack during sexual activity represents only a very small part of a person's overall risk of having a heart attack, and sexual activity is the cause of less than 1 percent of all heart attacks," Dr. Glenn Levine, lead author of the American Heart Association's report and a professor of medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, told the Associated Press.

In fact, sex can actually reduce men's risk of a heart attack and may lower blood pressure. And let's not forget the other potential health benefits from having sex, such as stress relief, pain reduction and enhanced immunity. Plus people with active sex lives may actually look younger.

Do you have sex on the brain? Let us know about it in our poll below and then check out some more surprising findings on midlife sex in the below slide show.

Quick Poll

How many times a week do you crave sex?

VOTE


Sex Is Important
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According to OurTime.com, 53 percent of post 50ers think their sex life is just as important now as when they were younger, 26 percent think it is more important, and only 3 percent think their sex life is not important at all.

Photo courtesy of Joelk75
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Post 50 singles want sex, and they want it often. Given that people over 50 are the biggest growing group in online dating and the most likely to use match-making sites, it's no surprise that sex is o...
Post 50 singles want sex, and they want it often. Given that people over 50 are the biggest growing group in online dating and the most likely to use match-making sites, it's no surprise that sex is o...
 
 
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01:58 PM on 02/10/2012
Well, yes. But what's the connecvtion with dating sites? I have found that for post-50 people, the sites are about anything but sex. They are all about seeking LTRs. Indeed, I have been guilty of hurting a few very nice people whom I became involved with, who assumed all along that I was seeking a committed marriage-like relationship.

Q: When you're over 50 and frisky, are you ethically obliged to point out that you're not looking for marriage?
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mjeffn
Freedom's just another word 4 nothing left to lose
12:47 PM on 03/01/2012
I have had the same experience hurting and being hurt, especially right after my divorce until experience helped me figure some things out. I don't think I ever want to be married again or even live with another person under the same roof. I was surprised to find that this feeling is also very common with the women I meet. Dating, and life in general, is so much more pleasant without all of the peeing on boundaries and jealousy issues that were always accepted without thought in our society.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
austin in tx
01:12 AM on 01/25/2012
Morning , Noon,and night....and if I wake up at night....
rlpl02
Motivational Bull****er
11:42 AM on 01/24/2012
They may want it but some men (most) have lost their mojo by 50 and don't want to go tell a doctor that they need help. The relationships I've had over a four year period I heard "I'm sorry" by two of them and the third one didn't even realize that his sausage was vienna style not smoked. I've given up on sex in favor of the guy having a job instead. That is also getting hard, pardon the pun, since so many of the boomers are losing their jobs to cheap (younger) labor. What's really funny are the guys who are in denial and think a younger woman will cure them. They don't figure it out till around 55 or so and then they've let themselves go and I don't want them either. I'm considering dating women...
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mjames5464
I dont comform...I adapt.
11:50 AM on 01/24/2012
Wow...what a sad sad story....I can tell you as a man who is 50,that I want sex alot...and I always seem to be able to"Rise" to the occasion...As far as a younger women..no way...Although some of the younger ones are pretty to look at..most are too materialistic and just plain stupid to waste time on. As for your situation,I would say.hang in there,dont give up yet..and if all else fails ,just reach into your bedside dresser and bring out"mr happy"...
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KIVPossum
Moldova Marsupial
03:38 PM on 01/24/2012
LOL

If the men with you are having that much trouble you need to look at yourself.

I am way past 60 and manage to keep a wife and 'friend' happy. It is a rare week when I don't have sx 12-14 times.
10:10 AM on 02/02/2012
Let's ask your wife for proof of this. And your 'friend.' It would be interesting to see what their take on the situation is.
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Jim Levitt
10:28 AM on 01/24/2012
Of course women after 50 want and get more sex than men over 50.
A good percentage of men have ED in one form or another and with our national rise of Diabetes type 2 it's even worse!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fhmjam
09:59 AM on 01/22/2012
My spouse (of 38 years) and I like to talk about what we use to do, then roll over and go to sleep-RIGHT!! Once every so often we have a relapse though......lol
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Leon Engelun
09:23 AM on 01/22/2012
men are like candles and women are like candlestick holders. The more you use the candle the smaller it gets, but the candlestick holder is always ready for the candle no matter how much it is used and how old.
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Molly D
11:01 PM on 02/02/2012
Whoops, I should have scanned the comments before saying anything.
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mjeffn
Freedom's just another word 4 nothing left to lose
01:03 PM on 03/01/2012
That's pathetic. Use it lose it!
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Anne Siperek
10:02 PM on 01/21/2012
Word of advice - don't talk about it, just do it. But really, only with someone who turns you on~!! Then, it is truly amazing~!
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Jock4uni
Fiscally conservative and socially progressive.
11:18 PM on 01/21/2012
Hello, thanks for the insight. You may have a better luck in finding someone that turns you on is also interested in you in a similar manner!
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Anne Siperek
10:56 AM on 01/22/2012
well, ah yes, I would hope so...!
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SarcasticFringehead
Mute Nostril Agony
07:55 PM on 01/21/2012
"In fact, a new survey by dating site OurTime.com found that 97 percent of midlifers consider regular sex important for their romantic relationships."

This is not a scientific survey, it is data from an online dating service.

Everyone who wants a date using OurTime.com has to "play along" and pretend they think sex is important -- even if they've been celibate for 10 years.

You sure wouldn't get many replies using a dating service, if you said you didn't like having sex.

I find this whole article to be questionable.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
08:25 PM on 01/21/2012
Half of those interviewed wanted sex every day or every other day. In other news, half of those interviewed were men.
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SarcasticFringehead
Mute Nostril Agony
08:26 PM on 01/21/2012
Bingo.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
07:22 PM on 01/21/2012
The older women are more satisfied with having LESS sex, so the men are unhappy. Why is this so wrongly reported?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Tully Hoover
So while I'm here, I'll have me a real good time!!
03:37 PM on 01/21/2012
This is a survey from a Dating Site!!! That makes the survey questionable. A person would be better off Searching the web for Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for the best data.
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TAIsabel
Suffer no fools.
03:21 PM on 01/21/2012
Over 50 and under 60 and I LOVE my sex life with the man I LOVE!!!
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graffitijoe
snowballs chance n SoCal
03:02 PM on 01/21/2012
THe article is about sex over 50 but the "lip model" used in the photo is probably under 25.
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Anne Siperek
10:00 PM on 01/21/2012
actually I think it is a drag queen.
03:01 PM on 01/21/2012
here's a shocker: women could care less about sex, just ask my wife.....i keep great detailed track of these things, we average actual intercourse about every 72 days. in 1795 days, we've had it 25 times!! i offer oral or anything she wants, and its "not tonight im tired etc etc etc"......132 orgasms ive gotten in the same almost 1800 days. i never do it myself, she wont allow it. she's 44 ish and i'm 51 ish, so the idea that women love husbands or care about sex is a lie.....saw a funny one the other day guy says "yeah, i know where my wife's g spot is.......it's in my wallet"!!!
10:13 AM on 02/02/2012
I wonder what the problem could be with your wife. You sound so romantic, writing everything down, keeping count of who got what, when.
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mjeffn
Freedom's just another word 4 nothing left to lose
01:07 PM on 03/01/2012
LOL!
03:43 PM on 02/04/2012
That is not how all wives and women are. I am 53 and still love and crave sex. It has a lot to do with attitude. I am single but when I was married I wanted sex just as much as I do now. I may want it even more now that I am older. The main problem for me is having a suitable and consistant partner. I have a couple of men friends and the FWB thing is thriving after 50! I will say that of the men I have been with the ones who are over say 55 don't have the libido to keep up with me. I tend to date men in their 40's who are looking for a fun , affectionate woman who does not need a man but wants a man.
As for her not 'allowing" you to take care of your own needs....certainly she is not around 24/7 or watching you in the shower! Sometimes you just need that release and stress rellief...lol. I along with a lot of other men and women take care of business if needed.
My main point....I don't think your wife if the majority of women.
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den1953
The party of Hypocritical Oaths Doctor GOP!
02:52 PM on 01/21/2012
I can remember when i could keep it up all night now it takes me all night to get it up?
03:04 PM on 01/24/2012
Awww poor baby! Do come live with me...I would so appreciate the "failure to launch"! Menopause kicked in, and MY libido is as dead as Bela Lugosi! We could just snuggle...no pressure on my behalf.
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mjeffn
Freedom's just another word 4 nothing left to lose
01:09 PM on 03/01/2012
What you are experiencing is short term. You will adjust to it and that old mojo will be back and better than ever.
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02:40 PM on 01/21/2012
Female Research Assistant('s) Requested, Please Apply Within, no pay, long hours.
02:45 PM on 01/21/2012
What, photographs not required?
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02:49 PM on 01/21/2012
I'm an equal opportunity employer