Denum Ellarby Refused Communion Because He Has Down Syndrome, Parents Say

Clare Ellarby says her child wasn't allowed to take his first Holy Communion because he has Down Syndrome.

In a letter from the Diocese of Leeds, Ellarby was told that her seven-year-old Denum Ellarby lacks the "concentration" necessary to prepare for Communion, according to the BBC. The Diocese also said children can "only proceed to the sacrament of First Communion when they take part in the Church's life and understand the Church's faith".

"It's just disgusting," Ellarby told the BBC. "I feel really let down by the Catholic faith."

A spokesperson for the diocese told the Catholic Herald "Denum's family has not participated in the regular life of the Church or in the preparation preceding First Communion. We hope that this will change as Denum grows and we are working with him and his family to help him achieve this."

The Christian Post reports that Clare and Denum's father Darren have started a petition in support of their son.

"They need to have more compassion," Clare Ellarby told the Post. "What they are doing is so cruel."

CORRECTION: A previous version of this story incorrectly stated that Denum Ellarby has autism.

Comments

[John Michael McGuire]

09:52 PM on 02/29/2012

The Churches position is that to receive Communion in the Church you have to be able to tell the difference between ordinary bread and the Body of Christ. As Catholics know receiving the Body and Blood of Christ is not just a symbol or a right of passage. It is to truly receive the Body of Christ. That being said, the same documents that put forth this teaching also put forth that in the occasion that an individual has some impediment to understanding this, that individual Diocese and Parishes are supposed to work with these individuals. What families have to understand though, is first that not every parish is equipped to know how to do this, and second that it does not always mean that the child, the individual will receive the Sacrament on their own time or their family's time, but in whatever time it takes for the understanding to be formed. I thank God however, that Catholic Theology looks upon infant Baptism as the form. Baptism truly enters the individual into the Body of Christ, and in receiving Baptism the individual receives the Grace of God. Receiving Holy Communion is important, and a blessing, however, theologically it is Baptism that brings you into the faith. I thank God that there were no impediments to Denum's entry into the Church through Baptism, but I hope the Parish and his family can come to terms so they can get Denum to the point of reception, and not come to blows.

[Jennifer Kern]

10:56 AM on 02/02/2012

As a Special Needs CCD teacher, I have to finally comment on this article. Being "of age" does not automatically qualify a child to take communion. In our school, we make decisions about children on a case by case basis. We try to make sure that students have their sacraments when they are as ready as possible. Some children will never fully understand it, and we take this into account, but there are some children for whom another year of preparation can make a world of difference. Some of these children are functioning at a level below their age at home or at school. Why wouldn't this carry over to church life? Last year we had a student who the teachers and principal felt was not ready for his first communion. His parents appealed to the pastor and he was allowed to receive. When he got up to take communion, he couldn't handle it. It was traumatic experience for him and his family. Now he is waiting another year anyway. This family, like the family featured, did not show the commitment at home to getting their child ready. Special needs parents and educators understand that each child has his own growth timeline and the sacrament is not just a mechanical practice, but a spiritual one.Why reduce it to a mechanical action "just because" a child is of age, when you can wait and prepare for a truly meaningful spiritual experience?

[Sultry]

12:36 PM on 01/27/2012

You know after reading most of the post, I can see that some of you know and understand the meaning of the bible, and religious teachings. Do you really think this kid can do what you have just demonstrated? Study, understand, and retain the information. I don't know of any cases where a 13 year old was allowed to step into manhood without a formal religious ceremony he studied for. Every religion has some form of study to take the next step, even if that study is a meeting for Bible School. Like I said in my former post,The pope does not want birth control,so he should change the church law to accept whatever condition a person is born in.

[highking1979]

04:37 PM on 01/26/2012

The Church be compassionate? The hell you say! What did they think he was contagious or something?

[Fenrir Lokison]

07:05 PM on 01/26/2012

Actually it tells you their reasons in the article.

[Sultry]

12:16 PM on 01/27/2012

They think he does not have a clue of what he is participating in, or why

[flowerpatch12]

12:35 PM on 01/26/2012

This has happened to me recently,due to my son has Asperger Syndrome,never hid it even offered info&was very open but the religion director at the roman catholic church we attended has been scared of the not knowing of Asperger Syndrome,never asked quesitons,but told me I had to stay with my son,my son has to be able to communicate to recieve it&I explained my son's condition in detail I said what happens if it takes him 20x before they consider is communication he said only then he'll recieve it due to he has to communicate it to recieve sacrements,if he can not communicate he will not be able to recieve it,I was so upset I was crying &he wouldn't listen to me&I said to the director how this situation is making me feel&his response was "who is in control of ones feelings?"&I said I am in control of them but it does take another person to contribute to the feelings at times&his response was"no it doesn't it is you&only you" I can tell you we pulled our children from this church&the other stories I can tell you this hasn't been the first run in with the chuch&it's been very disturbing you think this will be the one place you/your family/child would not be judge but you are&worst than the public,which is so sad,I pray that they'll see the way of what God&Jesus taught us to love all.

[Katzfey]

04:16 AM on 01/27/2012

I feel so bad for you. What a terrible experience with those in the church who to all are supposed to represent trust, compassion, warmth, and unconditional love. Getting lost in petty rules, I guess they forget the Beatitudes and the compelling example in the Bible of Jesus "embrace" of others, and especially of the poor, disabled, and downtrodden. Their rule-bound inflexibility seems more in line with the pharisees whose attitudes were so disturbing to Jesus....it seems they have lost the message amid ignorance, condescension, rigidity, and insensitivity. I hope some day they will find their way out of it. Bless you and your son. With sorrow for the experience your family went through and wishing you better.

[Redhunteur]

08:19 AM on 01/26/2012

Don't worry kid, there are a lot of us that can't wrap our heads around what the catholic church does. You are NOT alone in that. I'd go with milk and cookies any day.

[Bradley Parker]

01:47 PM on 01/25/2012

For Catholics, receiving the Holy Eucharist is not a mere symbol, which should be offered to anyone so that they might feel good about themselves and included in the congregation. If this mother feels differently what she is seeking is Protestant communion. For one to receive communion, he or she must be properly cathechized so that an understanding and belief in the of the sacrament is present. This is why First Communion is usually withheld from children until 7 years old or older, and until after they have satisfactorily demonstrated an understanding of the sacrament - typically through regular attendance in religious education courses. Absences from these courses will often set a child's first communion date back until he or she can satisfactorily demonstrate the required understanding.

[mastaallie]

12:43 PM on 01/26/2012

Interesting that you feel that way about the Protestant church. I am Lutheran and had to go through extensive training in order to receive my first communion. Perhaps you should not lump all faiths together as being people who 'just want to feel good about themselves,' which are not Catholic.

[Bradley Parker]

11:01 PM on 01/26/2012

Of course you're correct. And in another post in to this same article I mention that Anglicans and Lutherans still believe in the real presence. It is denominations that follow the later reformers that fully rejected almost all orthodox beliefs - more the progeny of Calvin's beliefs than Luther's - and disordered worship by focusing on the sermon, sola scriptura, and sola fide.

[Katzfey]

04:36 AM on 01/27/2012

I was raised Catholic and still take my 92 year old mother to Mass. I am sorry, but the Catholic Church is way too legalistic. Remember Jean ValJean in Les Miserables who stole bread for his starving family and whose was then imprisoned for his violation, and remember the inspector who later chased him down and who was so bound and morally imprisoned himself by his own strict adherence to the rules? Another group who lived in strict accordance with the rules were the Pharisees who made Jesus their enemy and who outraged them with his way of compassion that to them at times crossed their rigid line. Rules are made for the good of the people. The Eucharist is such a core component of Catholic worship that it would be difficult for a devout Catholic to have it denied to a disabled child...and I say very insensitive to the parent. Luckily there are at least some priests working with their communities who would never do this. I would propose a new rule if rules we must follow to the letter: that an individual be allowed the Eucharist when he/she presents with an understanding of it within the parameters of his capacity to do so. In the end, is it not described as a mystery incomprehensible to all?

[dcdannyboy]

10:22 AM on 01/27/2012

Remember the actions of the Bishop in Les Mis. He is the example of the Catholic faith to take away from that story. The bishop is who changed Jean ValJean's life with an act of selfless love and led him to a life of giving and true love. "To love another person is to see the face of God." This is what being Catholic is all about. I am sorry if a particular priest has given wrong information but the Catholic Church joyfully welcomes people of all abilities and disabilities to fully participate in the holy sacraments. We, as Catholics, believe that the Eucharist is the true presence of the living Christ and take it as serious and worthy of preparation that we receive this presence of love into our bodies. My wife, who is a communication disorders professional, works with children with Down's Syndrome, autism, and other developmental disabillities. These beautiful children all have communication problems and my wife works with a Catholic program that helps them prepare for the sacraments. Their understanding is demonstrated in ways that are suitable to their abilities, such as pointing at pictures or answering questions in other ways. Once these children show an understanding, they are welcomed to fully participate in the Mass. The Church values all members if Its community, and has particular joy in welcoming children and adults with disabilities. So, I encourage the parents of this child to speak with somebody else because the Church does welcome their child.

[raypapo]

09:14 PM on 01/24/2012

Catholic Church makes such a big deal out of not aborting these Down's Syndromes babies, and then when they in fact want to join the Church and take communion they are DENIED. It's bad enough that society shuns and banishes Down's Syndrome people and autistic, and now this story. Really will make a lot of women think more seriously about aborting fetuses with Down's more now that the Church is being so harsh and unkind due to their antiquated rules.

[averagezoe]

11:00 PM on 01/24/2012

You're right, it should make more women choose abortion, but I doubt that any Catholic ever would.

[greenlass]

02:38 PM on 01/25/2012

It's so twisted. If the Catholic Church was run by women, I doubt this would happen. Crazy thought, women in charge in that institution - but I'm just saying...

So much hypocrisy and misogyny and - is there a word for being a child hater?

It is a wonderful thing that people who have Down's Syndrome babies are raising them as respect-worthy members of our society. Why in the world is the church so anti-humane????

[gerorem]

08:50 PM on 01/24/2012

Communion became less and less of what Christ intended, so that it appears as a very formal ritual--ostensibly open only to those who have been "certified"

If a child or person of limited mental capacity cannot understand the jargon about the Eucharist, I would say they are more open to know the core meaning: I love you. Eat.

[Bradley Parker]

01:49 PM on 01/25/2012

"I love you. Eat." Is certainly not the core meaning of the Eucharist.

[gerorem]

02:47 PM on 01/25/2012

"I love you" is. "Eat" means "love" in Italian.
Jesus offered no long "transubstantial" metaphysical discourse.

[Katzfey]

04:52 AM on 01/27/2012

Fanned and faved. Thank you. Beautifully powerful in its simplicity.

[gerorem]

08:36 PM on 01/24/2012

I'm not so sure even the Apostles knew the significance of what Jesus meant when he shared his last meal with them.

How can we say that a Downs syndrome child does not know more of the core meaning: Take this food because I love you. Don't forget.

[dante2810]

06:53 PM on 01/24/2012

Just curious but if I walked up to take communion, even though I am an atheist, how would the priest know? A quick Google search would tell me the procedure and words to say.

So how did the priest know that the boy had not already had his first communion? Was it an assumption based on the boys appearance? Is it standard practice that if a priest does not recognize someone he has to ask? I would think these are relevant in the larger picture of how the boy is perceived by the clergy.

[Connerz1985]

10:55 AM on 01/24/2012

thats dumb cause I remember I was sick for a week when my class did it, I only went to a church ONCE to prep, that was 2 days before first communion

[shaunmarie]

09:07 AM on 01/24/2012

What I don't understand is this: At baptism, we welcome the child into the community of the Church, and then we excommunicate them again for the next 9 or so years...

[french queen13]

07:42 PM on 01/24/2012

Isn't it more a case of seven having been long seen as the 'age of reason' (which has some foundation in mental development, I think) and the child then going up a level, as it were, to being a more active, understanding participant? That's how I've always understood Communion, anyway.

[shaunmarie]

06:17 AM on 01/25/2012

Well - when you excommunicate them, quite literally, it means that you forbid them to partake of the sacrament.

Perhaps I am rather radical, but I believe in an open table. These are Gods gifts, not the church's gift. I was a lay Eucharistic minister in the Anglican church... I remember our training. There was a huge argument about the whole notion of transubstantiation (is it REALLY flesh and REALLY blood) -

Now, with this sort of intellectual agony among adults over communion - it seems that expecting a child of ANY age to comprehend the intellectual meaning of communion is just silly - being that adults are no more clued in than kids - and maybe less so.

[priceofliberty]

09:02 AM on 01/24/2012

umm. Do these priests actually read the encyclicals or do they make it up as they go along? The more crap I read about I think its the later.

Theologically you just have to be of age and able to take communion (meaning being able to eat and drink). Understanding is not required. Most people that take communion don't really understand it anyway -- including the priests. Its supposed to be a mystery. So if you understood it it wouldn't be a mystery or a miracle.

I will say this not every priest would have done this. Some of them actually follow church teaching.

[N0NDescript0]

02:28 PM on 01/24/2012

"Theologica­lly you just have to be of age and able to take communion (meaning being able to eat and drink). Understand­ing is not required. Most people that take communion don't really understand it anyway -- including the priests. Its supposed to be a mystery. So if you understood it it wouldn't be a mystery or a miracle."

What theology are you using? It must not include "do this in remembrance of me".

[priceofliberty]

03:45 PM on 01/24/2012

Remembrance is not the same as understanding. Canon law only says you must have the understanding enough to grasp the mystery and its done to their capacity meaning a kid with down's is fine. Can 913. We can go farther into what decisions have been made on 913. The wording is bad in the english for Can 913. The latin is more you have to understand that it is a mystery.

The requirement of understanding negates it. You can't understand a mystery.

And yes my theology does include "do this in remembrance of me" I just wish priests would follow the law.

[bbriani3842]

09:30 PM on 01/23/2012

Religion: The Ultimate "Just-Us League" ...

[N0NDescript0]

02:29 PM on 01/24/2012

I conditionally disagree, but that's really funny.