Life & Happiness With Laura Rowley: Dealing With Boomerang Kids

The Great Recession has led to the largest spike ever in the number of Americans living in multigenerational households, according to a study by the Pew Research Center. In 2009, the share of the population living in such households had increased to almost 17 percent.

But between 2007 and 2009, the fast-growing segment of people doubling up with family were young adults ages 25 to 34. So when your kid comes pinging back to the nest, how do you make it work? Huff/Post50's Laura Rowley has a few strategies.

Comments

[Joan Casademont]

01:50 PM on 02/01/2012

Wow. I am not there yet, but thanks for the tips...and funny presentation!

[happyjoyjoy333]

07:46 PM on 01/31/2012

This is what you do..wait til they go to the store, and then change the locks. Problem solved.

[sonjadr]

07:38 PM on 01/31/2012

I don't know what the big fuss is about older kids either not leaving or coming back home. It has to do mostly with the poor economy. Gee, back after the great depression most young people stayed living at home with their parents for themselves and to help out with their parents' expenses. Both of my parents lived at home till they got married in their early 30's. My dad's father had died and it was a big family to support and my mother lived at home with her parents and two younger brothers. It's matter of economics these days, not that all the young people are lazy. We had three generations living in our house with my mother, our two children, but we were lucky in that we all had our own living space, so didn't mind it at all - except I had too much cooking to do. They do leave - my mother passed away and the kids got married, so now we finally have our empty nest!

[royce hawkins]

06:45 PM on 01/31/2012

I would welcome my children back with open arms. I would never see anyone without a home if I could help it and definently not my kids. Times are hard especially for young adults trying to make ends meet while going to school full time and only working part time if they are able. They would be welcome in my home until they got back on their feet. My house would not be a place for partying, there would need to be mutual respect for privacy and so forth but I know my kids would be respectful and would not take advantage. Sometimes we all need a helping hand, and our children are no different. Charity is important to all who give and receive.

[lindamom]

07:27 PM on 01/31/2012

Wonderful mom and person - will you adopt me?

[blahblahyea]

07:35 PM on 01/31/2012

Yes Royce! I disagree with Admiral Farragut and many arguing against having their kids move back in with them. It does not mean that the adult is a still a child because they live with their parents or they move back in with their parents. Sometimes the odds are just against them and there are no other options! Dont think that it can never happen to you. Time and chance happens to everyone. One of your kids could end up moving back to your home. Who said that you are relieved from raising your child when they become 20 or even 35. As a parent your work is never done. You are always a mother or father once you have a child. They grow into adults but they are STILL YOUR CHILDREN!! You brought them here so stop saying that because they're adults you have nothing to do with them.

[blnllwhite]

06:28 PM on 01/31/2012

Do not allow it. All you are doing is enabling.

[Happy scotty]

05:37 PM on 01/31/2012

I would never kick my children out. But I expect them to fend for themselves.

[LTTR136]

05:27 PM on 01/31/2012

I always have a difficult time understanding how some people can be so smug when they tell everyone how they overcame adversity. It seems to me that each and every one of them fails to realize that we no longer live in the '50's, '60's, '70's, etc.. I have a son who would have done well for himself if he were born in the '50's, Back then he could have gotten a manufacturing job that paid a living wage and had benefits. There are a lot of people just like him out there today and the kinds of jobs they are capable of are now gone. Everyone does not have the ability to go to college and get a degree. Half the population has an IQ under 100. Make these people over 45 and they don't have much chance of working a "good" job ever again. The flood of illegal immigrants does not help either. We live in a state with 10% unemployment, many, many people no longer get benefits, and these people are not counted in the unemployment numbers. Moving sounds great. I wish we could but we can't unload our house either.

Don't be so quick to judge others and say they were not good parents when you don't know the entire story.

[bemahuron]

04:33 PM on 01/31/2012

@dtagliaferri:

If those I listed below don't produce the desired result, here are a few more but I'll warn ya, these are a bit more ominous and only to be used under the close supervision of a trained professional:

6) Let them know you've been hoarding the candy, Circus Peanuts for a number of years now and their room may be a bit more aromatic than they remember it being.

5) Tell your kid that if things were to ever go badly between the US and the Russians again, you have it on good authority that his/her room has been targeted for a thermonuclear strike.

4) Remind them that 'boomerang' is Australian in derivation and therefore only Australian kids are allowed to move back in with their parents and you can't be 100% certain of their heritage.

3) Remind them of the legend of the kid down the street who moved back in with his parents years ago and disappeared one dark stormy night into the swampy woods behind the house and has never been seen nor heard from since.

2) Tell them that something has been living in their old closet for some time now and you haven't worked up the courage yet to go in and see what it is.

1) (This one makes even me shudder) Tell your son that you've already rented out his room to Justin Bieber and they'll have to share the space together.

[Threadsline]

04:09 PM on 01/31/2012

My prodigal son moved back in with us. We served the fatted calf when he got here. We've gone through the entire herd now.

[teresathegreat12]

04:05 PM on 01/31/2012

"What to do when your child moves back in"
Easy - you set ground rules for parents and (adult) children. Parents have to remember the child isn't really a child anymore and can't be treated as such - and child needs to remember that s/he isn't a child anymore and can't act like one!
We've been there a few times, with 3 older kids (moved out, moved back, moved out) - best advice is: set a deadline for them to get out. Make it known to one and all they are guests. Charge them rent, even if it's a little bit.

[odiedog41374]

03:58 PM on 01/31/2012

no never would i move back in with my mom....unless she was super sick and couldnt take care of herself ....that would be the only way i would live with my mom

my kids, uhhhh ide rather live with my mom.....

[smilesdisney]

03:40 PM on 01/31/2012

We have 4 generations living in our household, age ranging from 102 to 22 years old. While we don't always see eye to eye, its not a bad experience. Most of our 20 somethings do not have a grandparent much less a great grandparent to learn things from on a daily basis. Both my 22 and 27 year old hope to move out on their own, they both have college degrees, but financially its difficult to move out due to the high cost of living.

[belldn3]

03:29 PM on 01/31/2012

Kick them right back out.

[Llib Noswad]

03:13 PM on 01/31/2012

"What to Do When a Child Moves Back In"

Quietly slip out the back door, call a real estate broker, sell the house and don't leave a forwarding address.

[bmitche]

03:10 PM on 01/31/2012

I haven't had to face the problem yet, but I would say WELCOME HOME !

[jjp009]

03:37 PM on 01/31/2012

bmitche: THANK YOU!! I was looking for one comment here that wasn't negative about this situation. I'm older and don't have kids, but I love my nieces very much, and if they were my daughters and needed to move in with me, I would be the happiest person in the world. Why does everyone hate the idea of their adult children moving back in (unless you have a really bad history with them)? Your comment was the best here.

[bmitche]

04:08 PM on 01/31/2012

THANK YOU!