PARENTS
01/31/2012 07:12 pm ET

Joan And Melissa Rivers Talk About Motherhood With HuffPost Parents

On reality TV, mother-daughter duo Joan and Melissa Rivers live together in Los Angeles with Melissa's 10-year-old son Cooper, which is an ideal fishbowl to observe two loud and highly-opinionated moms share space. ("I am constantly critiquing Melissa and am never happy," Joan told the Huffington Post about how her 43-year-old daughter dresses.) In reality, though, the senior Ms. Rivers -- a born and bred New Yorker and a believer in some familial boundaries -- splits her time between the family circus in California and her Upper East Side apartment. Last week, the Rivers' women sat down with HuffPost Parents there, to compare notes about motherhood, often finishing each other's sentences.

The moment I knew I was a parent was...

Melissa: The first time Cooper got really hurt. I looked at my mom and said, "I can't deal with this" and she looked at me and said, "You have to."

The best parenting advice I ever got was...

Joan: Your child comes first. My mother was a big charity lady. But she taught me, start your charity at home.

My biggest splurge on a kid's item was...

Melissa: I had one of those super high-tech fancy strollers that you could fold up to the size of a matchbook.

Joan: I had the whole ceiling hand painted in her room when she was an infant. I went all out like a moron. Beautiful ceiling. I had them [the painters] up their on their backs painting. [The joke is] nobody ever looked up.

The perfect day with my child is...

Melissa: Watching NFL coverage before the games, going surfing, to the park so I can play tennis and Cooper can throw around a football, then home, football -- and then ... Chinese food.

The perfect day without children is...

Melissa: You mean a day without being asked any questions?

The last lie I told my child was...

Joan: You told me not to say anything and I didn't.

The thing I swore I'd never say to my kids is...

Joan: I hate you. You think, "I'll never say that to my child," and then they become fifteen. And the ninth time they've told you they hate you, you say, "I have news for you. I'm not so fond of you at the moment either."

I get my child to go the f%&# to sleep by...

Melissa: Threatening him.

The word that best describes me as a mom is...

Melissa: Supportive

Joan: Diligent. Also, maybe lenient.

Melissa: Apparently we lived in different households.

The problem with living together is...

Melissa: They [my mother and son] team up against me. I'm starting to think I should sleep with one eye open.

"Joan Knows Best?" airs on Tuesdays, 9/8 Central on WE TV.

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