About the author: Jimmy is a senior at Maine South High School and a reporter for The Mash, a weekly teen publication distributed to Chicagoland high schools.
With this year’s Super Bowl just a few days away, The Mash looks at all aspects of the event, from the matchup itself down to the location. We’ll give our take on everything from the halftime entertainment to the mascots, but we’ll also offer up our ideal alternatives to each. So if this year’s event doesn’t meet your expectations, you’ll always be able to think about what could have been.
THE MATCHUP
ActualWith slightly revamped lineups for both the New England Patriots and N.Y. Giants, we will have to wait to see whether the game is a sequel to their Super Bowl meeting in 2008 or the reemergence of New England’s dynasty.
The matchup itself will consist of two high-powered offenses that are led by some of the league’s premier quarterbacks: Tom Brady for the Patriots and Eli Manning for the Giants. Expect a back-and-forth, high-scoring affair that will come down to the wire. Oh, and don’t be surprised to see Bill Belichick steal a play or two from the Giants.
In the end, the Patriots defense should outduel the Giants, and once again the Super Bowl trophy will be shipped up to Boston.
IdealFrom the AFC, how could you not love the Denver Broncos? At only 8-8, they would’ve been the true underdogs; many critics said they shouldn’t even have made the playoffs.
And, since when did this season become about bashing Tim Tebow? The poor guy has taken hits from celebrities and other athletes. Raising the Lombardi Trophy would have been the ultimate silencer. Their opponent? Well, the Bears, of course! If it wasn’t for injuries, this one could’ve been a reality. But like Cubs fans always say, there’s always next year!
THE HALFTIME SHOW
ActualThe headlining act will be Madonna—definitely a typical football fan’s favorite (sarcasm intended). She will be performing with Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., who both perform singles with Madonna on her new album. LMFAO will be wiggling their way across the halftime stage (hopefully they do us all a favor and wear more than Speedos), and there are even rumors abounding that Cee Lo Green will be performing as well. If the rumblings turn out to be true, the show will be a pop-lover’s dream, but it’ll show little appeal to few others.
IdealI have two problems with the planned halftime show. First, why Madonna? While she was a big name back in the day, she is nowhere near the current popularity of singer like Katy Perry. Plus, she only appeals to a certain demographic—one that definitely doesn’t include most die-hard football fans.
And second, why pop? As much as I love my fixing of pop music, the halftime show should consist of a performer that appeals to all. It should be someone with fun music and that the entire family can enjoy. An appearance by U2, Coldplay, even Rascal Flatts, would do the trick.
MASCOTS
ActualNew England’s mascot Pat Patriot is the perfect mascot for a Super Bowl team as he is a symbol for the U.S., and also a fan favorite of even the youngest Patriots fans. As for the Giants’ mascot, well it could be better. Why? Because they don’t actually have one. Their team name is the Giants, but besides the measly symbol on their helmets, there’s little representing their team name. They don’t have an awkwardly-shaped fuzzy creature running around their stadium. To me that’s just lame for a Super Bowl team and actually quite unacceptable.
IdealAs much as it pains me to say it, the ideal matchup would be Pat Patriot against Swoop of the Philadelphia Eagles. The Super Bowl is the most watched program year in and year out, and many foreigners would tell you that it’s what America is best known for. So what better says America than a patriot and an eagle (besides Big Macs and couches, of course)?
LOCATION
ActualThis year’s Super Bowl will be held in Indianapolis. Two words: cold and boring.What’s there to do in Indianapolis? Not too much. Plus, past years tell us it will be freezing outside, so hopefully the hotel’s mini-fridge is fully equipped. And let’s not forget, Indianapolis gets enough big sporting events, from the Indianapolis 500 to the NCAA Final Four. Spread the love!
IdealLos Angeles. Think about it. It’s the biggest city not to have an NFL team, but they have the stadiums capable of holding the event. The yearly success of the Rose Bowl in Pasadena proves that a big-time football event would be well-received by the public. Plus, who in their right mind wouldn’t want to escape to California in February? Heck, I’ll book my ticket now