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Meet BreathalEyes, An iPhone App That Tells You How Drunk You Are

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Revelers at Oktoberfest enjoy a few rounds of beer.
Revelers at Oktoberfest enjoy a few rounds of beer.

If you're like me, when you go out drinking, you like to be able to place a precise numerical value on how drunk you are at all times.

Well put down your calculators because here's a new app that can do just that.

Introducing BreathalEyes, an app for the iPhone and iPod Touch that will tell you, using science, precisely how stinkin' hammered you have become at any given moment. BreathalEyes accomplishes this magic in a rather ingenious way, by tracking the movements of your eyes in order to determine the extent of your intoxication; you simply have a friend or bartender point the iPhone's camera at one of your eyeballs, so that BreathalEyes can "scan...the eye to detect and analyze [your] Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus (HGN)," thereafter delivering a numerical BAC that the app's makers claim to be accurate within .02 percentage points.

As a bonus, the calculation is done within the app itself, with no need for Internet connection over WiFi or 3G; per the description in the App Store, BreathalEyes can "approximate an intoxicated individual's blood alcohol content (BAC), anytime and anywhere," which is perfect for astronauts, submarine crew members, and people who like to get drunk in elevators.

Unconvinced? Check out this primer video made by the folks at Xplor Apps, which explains how one might use BreathalEyes to determine his or her drunkenness:

Note: While the video and app info page both feature a warning that BreathalEyes is "for entertainment purposes only," a PR rep for the company assured me in an email that it was "only for legal reasons we have to add a disclaimer, even with the real science behind this."

We tried the BreathalEyes app at a recent HuffPost Happy Hour, and we found that, while the app reliably gave higher scores to those who were boozing than those who were abstaining, it still gave a 0.05 BAC to several ladies and gents who were stone-cold sober. It's not quite a science yet, in other words, but it is a fun party trick.

You can download BreathalEyes for $0.99 in the iTunes Store. Use it responsibly, and don't use it to determine whether or not you're good to drive. If you're depending on an iPhone app to tell you if you're too blitzed to operate your car, then the answer is probably no, anyway.

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