02/10/2012 02:05 pm ET | Updated Apr 11, 2012

A Non-Cuban's Guide To Ordering Food At A Cuban Cafeteria

A white guy walks into a Cuban bodega…

It sounds like the beginning of a joke, but for thousands of Southern flocking Gringo northerners – and plenty of non-Cuban Latinos that venture to America’s nethers – that reality happens on a daily basis. But as much as a British-style Gastropub would drive my abuela completely insane, for some out-of-towners the Cuban bodega is a place of horror and missed delectables.

Maybe it’s the fear of mispronouncing something so easy as a cortadito, or ordering something that is made from the chicken the Santera priest sacrificed last night. Either way, tell your gringo friends to have no fear: ordering breakfast from a Cuban bodega is not quite as hard as one may think.