DogTV Is A Real Cable Channel, Explains Professor Nicholas Dodman (VIDEO)

Under the heading of things that were bound to happen even though they shouldn't, we can now list "cable's first network for canines." Doing the rounds today is an explanatory video for the $5-a-month DogTV, featuring a disturbingly earnest expert named Professor Nicholas Dodman (more like Dogman!). As you will see in a few moments (which you should drag out, because the video reward at the end is so good), Evil Professor Dogman spouts lots of weird observations. Witness his take on how you and I use our TV, which is not how our dog will!:

"One thing that people shouldn't expect is for their dog to sit as we do and stare at the screen for hours and hours."

Do you get the feeling the professor has a low opinion of "people"? And obviously a wish to kill the spirit of "dogs"? Maybe he's become jaded after years spent becoming a TV-watching-dog historian. Witness this horrifying vision of the past:

"In the old days of analog TV, what would happen is the dog would see individual frames. So it was...[cue flickering Dogman]...flickering."

Dogman also details how your dog's first time should go. According to him, it's your job to ease your dog into DogTV. You should sit with him while he "acclimates" (Dogman refers to all dogs as male). But never fear! After "a few minutes," you can "step out and leave him to enjoy the content on his own." Enjoy, dog! I'm going to go live now!

"Shut up and acclimate to TV like a normal dog."

"DogTV is pretty funny!"

In conclusion, "we really don't expect [your dog] to sit on the couch and get the channel changer and click the channel around," but "anything's better than the boredom and tedium of being left alone." -- Prof. Nicholas Dodman

WATCH:

[via Videogum]

Comments

[Mrsbean54]

10:39 AM on 02/22/2012

Dogs know something we still have yet to learn....being outside is more interesting than watching tv.

[1globalhiker]

07:30 PM on 02/21/2012

I thought we already had a dog channel? Fox News.

[Litho-stone]

03:03 PM on 02/21/2012

With a name like 'Dog TV' I figured Snooki would be a part of it.

[MissMiniMonster]

03:12 PM on 02/20/2012

There are DVDs for dogs and cats so this isn't far off. I have cats, though. If there was a cat channel they would probably ignore it, especially if the fee for it was high.

[southingtonian]

05:00 AM on 02/21/2012

I confess to having addicted my youngest cat to kittytv. She had been a member of a feral clan across the road from us, but contracted a bad case of pneumonia, showing up at our door with perhaps days left to live. Having amoxicillin and the willingness, we dosed her and nursed her to health. She responds to the videos as she does to the front window, attempting to get 'through' it to get at the birds. The dog completely ignores the TV, as does our domestic-from-birth cat.

[DrugSniffingCat]

09:43 PM on 02/19/2012

My chihuahua barks at dogs and other animals on TV. He would love this!

[socialtalker]

10:08 PM on 02/18/2012

i just watched the explanatory video. COOL! i dont have tv or a dog, but if i had both, i would definitely try this channel.

[Carlos Lomba Jr]

05:20 PM on 02/18/2012

my dog likes to watch TV....even has her favorite shows

[lvictoria12]

06:55 PM on 02/17/2012

who cares? this is stupid. dogs dont need to be watching tv

[ArChiMi]

04:00 PM on 02/17/2012

I leave the TV on NatGeo Wild all day for my dog to keep her entertained by animal sounds. This is a good idea.

[hopes liaison]

05:20 PM on 02/18/2012

I've thought of doing this but my pup, a soon to be 5 year old Boxer, has way too much energy and I fear that he'd mall the television. Instead we leave News Radio 789 on for his enjoyment!

[ArChiMi]

05:31 PM on 02/18/2012

He may jump through the screen thinking its a window to someplace! Why don't you try this experiment while you are supervising?

[socialtalker]

10:09 PM on 02/18/2012

in the video, they explained they had segments to help your dog relax as well.