19 Ridiculous SkyMall Products (PHOTOS)

Is there any better publication for promoting generally useless, utterly baffling products than SkyMall? Until we find one, we will continue browsing the hundreds of amazingly ridiculous products featured in this in-flight magazine.

Need a clock to remind you what day it is? Or how about a portable spa? Or a DNA analysis for your pet dog? As we've shown you before, SkyMall's always got you covered. Vote for the most ridiculous item!

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• Beer Pager

  When you press the button, the beer holder burps to alert you of the drink's whereabouts. Price: $24.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=204076806&c=10450" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Day Of The Week Clock

  For the person who has no concept of time, a television, phone or computer. Price: $39.98 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102518628&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Protein Ketchup

  Ketchup fortified with some much-needed protein. 15 grams per cup. Price: $34.42 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=204072118&c=10980" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Box Of Applause Or Laughter

  Featuring "uproarious guffaws". Price: $24.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203075021&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Civilized Butler Clock

  Wake up the civilized way: with a birdsong and some discreet coughing. Price: $99.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102678001&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Wine Glass Holder Necklace

  Do you go to a lot of wine parties, but never seem to make any friends? That's probably because you've got this thing strapped around your neck. Price: $24.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102850753&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-102850753" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Canine Geneology Kit

  Finally you can analyze your dog's DNA. Price: $64.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=204040460&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-204040460" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Levo Book Holder

  Books are great, but they require so much energy and hand-eye coordination. Strap your hard-to-hold books in the book holder, then just make one of your kids stand by for page-turning. Price: $169.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102480615&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-102480615" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Spa-N-A-Box Portable Spa

  Finally, a spa that is both relaxing and portable. Price: $999.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102519088&c=10530" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• King Tut's Egyptian Throne

  If your home isn't pretentious enough, simply add this Egyptian throne to your living room decor. Price: $999.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102092077&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Personalized Branding Iron

  Not for use on children or pets. Price: $89.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=69646908&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-69646908" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Analog LED Projection Clock

  Not enough room on your desk for a clock? Simply project the time onto your wall. Price: $39.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203076066&c=10645" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Bling String

  Make your hair sparkle for some reason. Price: $9.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203428531&c=10070" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• King's Guard Half-Scale Knight

  Need a replica knight to stand guard in your home, but a little light in the wallet? No problem. The half-scale knight has arrived. Price: $199.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203219001&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Floating Pool Table

  Combine a relaxing day at the pool with some high-stakes gambling. Price: $99.99 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203649504&c=10530" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Macedonian Battle Helmet

  What home would be complete without a Macedonian Battle Helmet? Price: $129.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203219024&c=10440" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Relax 'N Nap Traveler

  Everyone knows the most comfortable way to nap is face down on an incline with your face in a hole. Price: $69.95 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203649985&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-203649985">SkyMall</a>)

• Bigfoot Garden Yeti Sculpture

  No backyard garden is complete without it. Price: $125.00 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203688525&c=&cm_sp=Search-_-Suggested-_-203688525" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

• Tranquil Sounds Oxygen Bar

  Finally, an oxygen bar with some soothing music built in. Price: $299.99 (Via <a href="http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203076066&c=10645" target="_hplink">SkyMall</a>)

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