As the Miami Dolphins have sunk further and further into mediocrity, the franchise' fans have only gotten more creative (read: desperate). From flying a banner plane over Sun Life Stadium to Occupy Miami Dolphins to billboards, the collective need of the aqua and orange has never been more palpable, more earnest, more...like Leonardo DiCaprio freezing solid and sinking to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Yep. Three Dolphins fans hoping the Fins nab free agent quarterback Peyton Manning have re-recorded Celine Dion's Titanic ballad "My Heart Will Go On," both sincerely and hilariously yearning for Manning's career to go on in Miami.
[Watch the 110 percent effort above.]
"Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you, hoping that the Dolphins you'll run," sings Kevin Mayer of Dolphins-flavored humor trio "WAARF Records" before launching into a tremulous reference to Manning's recent neck surgery:
Nerves! arm! however you are!
I believe that your career must go on
Matt Moore, we'll show him the door
And you'll heal and your career, your career will go on
Audibles at the line
A perfect pass to Harline
A draw to Regie Bush from shotgun
Luck was why they left you
Why Irsay he cut you
Circumstances so he moved on
Nerves! arm! however you are
We believe that your career should go on
No snow, your beachfront condo
You'll be here and your career, your career will go on and on
Finishing up with a motion to rename the Florida Turnpike to Peyton Way and a creepily whispered, "we love you," the absurd video aims to accomplish what fans don't trust the Miami front office to do: nab one of greatest quarterbacks of all time, papier-mâché neck and all.
"I don't believe in them at all, and if they do pull it off it'll go horribly wrong," said Mayer, who took lyrics written by fellow fan Rizzmiggizz and recorded them in his closet. Buddy Vinbob added visuals, and the dreams of three young men took flight across the Internet.
"A decade plus of looking for the next Dan Marino more than fueled the lyrics," said Rizzmiggizz. "Peyton is exactly what we need... The Dolphins passed on Drew Brees due to health concerns; we can't take the same risk. In this NFL if you wanna be great, sometimes you must be bold."
Other times, of course, you've gotta be Celine Dion. Think Denver will do that for you, Manning? Doubtful. Just doubtful.
The Morning Email helps you start your workday with everything you need to know: breaking news, entertainment and a dash of fun. Learn more