16 New York Teachers Accused Of Sexual Misconduct Still Teaching, City Struggles To Fire Them

Sixteen teachers accused of various forms of sexual misconduct are still teaching in New York City schools, according to a New York Education Department investigative report.

One teacher, for example, reportedly bent a student over a desk and thrust his pelvis toward him, saying, "I'll show you what's gay," during a discussion on gay life in prison, The New York Times reports.

Another teacher was accused of grabbing a student's elbow and while handing back a test, telling her, "I'm so proud of you; if it wouldn't get me in trouble, I would kiss you." A third allegedly repeatedly sent text messages to a student and stalked her outside the McDonald's where she worked.

In 14 of the 16 cases of what the New York Daily News calls "pervy teachers," the accused educators are still working with city children, and the city is struggling to fire them: independent arbitrators found wrongdoing, but decided that their offenses were not grounds for firing, and instead issued mild penalties like a fine, suspension or formal reprimand. Two of the teachers were recently reassigned to desk duty, but only after more allegations of wrongdoing.

Under a Freedom of Information Request, the Education Department released records of all 16 cases - including reports by its special commissioner of investigation and the arbitrators' rulings.

"If I had my way, these teachers would no longer be in the classroom," schools chancellor Dennis Walcott told the Daily News. He added that "common-sense reforms" would give him the power to fire teachers who misbehave.

School officials say their hands are tied. Under New York law, tenured teachers have the right to a hearing with an arbitrator before they can be fired, and can appeal an arbitrator's ruling in civil court. While the Department of Education can also appeal an arbitrator's decision to state courts, legal standards for overturning those rulings are very difficult to meet.

On WOR Radio's John Gambling Show Friday, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg quipped of the arbitrators' rulings, "maybe if you were a serial ax murderer, you might get a slap on the wrist." He noted that arbitrators, who are collectively chosen by the city and the teachers' union, might have also been driven toward milder penalties in an effort to keep their jobs.

He continued, according to Capital New York, "Some of their rulings don't make any sense. But the theory is that they don't want to be too tough on the union members, 'cause then the union will never allow them to be selected. Now the city has a vote in it as well, but if either one wants to block it they can. And so the allegation is, I don't know whether it's true or not, but the allegation has always been that some of these arbitrators are, not reluctant, just will not impose any penalties."

In the case of Willy Laraque, the teacher that was accused of the "gay" demonstration and remark, Laraque told the Daily News, "It never happened. It was a joke. The kid never testified."

The arbitrator ruled that Laraque's conduct was "unbecoming a professional and constitutes misconduct," but not enough to merit firing the teacher.

The Education Department's report comes on the heels of a separate report that reveals a 35 percent increase in complaints of sexual misconduct involving school employees in the first three months of 2012 over 2011.

To see the full list of the 16 accused New York educators, visit the New York Daily News.

CHECK OUT OTHER TEACHER SCANDALS:

Loading Slideshow

• Ashley Nicole Anderson

  In October, 2012, Anderson was accused of having <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2221031/Maths-teacher-sex-students-sent-naked-photos-performed-oral-sex-others.html" target="_hplink">sex with four of her students</a> and performing oral sex on three others.

• Courtney Speer

  Speer was accused in October, 2012 of having sex with one of her 17-year-old students on multiple occasions <a href="http://www.katv.com/story/19726366/bryant-teacher-bonds-out-of-jail-charged-with-sexual-assault" target="_hplink">in the school's parking lot</a> in Bryant, Ark.

• laurie lee kelly

  An Arizona teacher's assistant accused of leaving her 6-year-old child with strangers so she could have sex with two men said she was driven by a "manic sexual rage," according to court documents.

• Kelly McKenzy Watson

  This special education teacher in California was arrested in August, 2012, for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old former student. She was arrested and charged with sex crimes, but as of Aug. 14, was on paid administrative leave at the high school she worked.

• Bethany Appleton

  Shelbyville, Indianapolis middle school teacher Bethany Appleton, 28, is accused of having sexual relationships with several underage students and providing them with marijuana and alcohol.

• Megan Crafton

  Megan Crafton

• Irene Khan

  In June, 2012, Khan was accused of having sex with a 14-year-old student on multiple occasions including in her car and home and at various hotels.

• Nicole Jacques

  In late March, 2012, Nicole Jacques allegedly had sex with her 15-year-old student several times in her apartment. None of the alleged abuse happened at Calvary Baptist School in Pennsylvania where she worked.

• Stephanie Cobb

  Cobb was arrested in March, 2012 for allegedly having sex with a 16-year-old student. She also allegedly exchanged 12,000 texts with the boy over the course of four months

• Stefanie Dickinson

  Colorado school board member Stefanie Dickinson was charged with Internet luring of a child in September after she was caught sexting a 14-year-old boy. The boy reportedly told police he became uncomfortable after she would show up at his football games and tell him how sexy his smile was. She was arrested in October for sexual assault on another minor, also a student. Photo courtesy of the El Paso County Sheriff's Office.

• George Hernandez

  As a substitute teacher in L.A.'s second-largest school district, George Hernandez was investigated three times for sexual misconduct with students. Hernandez fled to Mexico when officially charged when police found video evidence of him molesting a second-grade girl. He remains at large and wanted by the Huntington Park Police Department.

• Lauren Redfern

  Colorado high school physical education teacher and basketball coach Lauren Redfern was charged with sexual assault on a child by a person of a position of trust with a pattern of sexual abuse after suspicions arose that she was having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student over the course of 4 months. Though initial interviews with the victim indicate that their relationship was consensual, it will not deter the Sheriff's Office from pressing charges against Redfern. Photo courtesy of the Eagle County Sheriff's Office.

• Heather Whitten Whitten, a 38-year-old teacher at Williams Intermediate School in Alabama, was arrested in February 2012 for allegedly raping a male student between the ages of 12 and 16. Cops said that the crime did not occur on school grounds.

• Andrea Ebert, a 30-year-old special education teacher at Rice Lake Middle School in Wisconsin, was jailed in February 2012 after she allegedly had sex with two 17-year-old students. None of several encounters between her and the students were reported to be on campus.

• Mark Berndt

  This undated police booking photo released by the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department shows former Los Angeles teacher Mark Berndt, 61, who was arrested for felony molestation of 23 kids after photos surfaced. Berndt been charged with committing lewd acts with 23 boys and girls ages 7 to 10. Berndt pleaded not guilty on Feb. 21. AP Photo/ Los Angeles Sheriff's Department)

• Jennifer Schultz

  North Dakota school teacher Jennifer Schultz is charged with sexually assaulting two of her students after a group of students arrived at her home and asked if she would like to drink vodka with them. Authorities say that after a few drinks, two of the boys went up to Schultz's room, where the teacher allegedly had sex with one boy while the other watched.

• Kelly K. Miller

  Kelly K. Miller, 32, a science teacher in the Chicago suburbs, was charged with sexual exploitation of a child on Sept. 27 after allegedly sending explicit photos of herself to a 15-year-old student. Photo courtesy of the Aurora Police Department.

• Pamela Joan Rogers Turner Mugshot

  This April 26, 2006 booking mug shot shows Pamela Rogers Turner after her arrest. Turner, now 34, a former teacher who served time in jail for having sex with a 13-year-old boy, is currently serving a prison sentence for sending inappropriate photos and videos of herself to that same boy after she served out her original sentence. (AP Photo/Warren County Sheriff, HO)

• Pamela Joan Turner (Pamela Rogers) In Court

  This July 14, 2006 photo shows Pamela Joan Turner, right, being escorted into circuit court in McMinnville, Tenn. The Tennessee Supreme Court said that it will not hear the appeal. Turner was convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old student at the Warren County school where she taught and then again convicted of sending that same student inappropriate photos and videos of herself. (AP Photo/Mark Humhrey)

• Debra Lafave Pleads Guilty

  Former middle school teacher Debra Lafave is shown in this file photo as she looks at a reporter after pleading guilty on Nov. 22, 2005 to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery. Lafave, now 31, whose sexual liaisons with a 14-year-old middle school student made tabloid headlines, avoided prison as part of a plea agreement. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara/FILE)

• Debra Lafave Mugshot

  This booking photo shows Debra Lafave, who was arrested Tuesday Dec. 4, 2007 for violating the terms of her probation. Lafave was originally arrested on June 21, 2004 and charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a person under 16 years old. (AP Photo/Hillsborough County Jail)

• Amber Jennings

  Shepherd Hill Regional High School teacher Amber S. Jennings is arraigned in Worcester Superior Court in this file photo taken Feb. 24, 2005, in Worcester, Mass. Jennings pleaded guilty to "disseminating harmful materials to a minor." She was sentenced to two years' probation. A spokesman for Worcester District Attorney John J. Conte said the allegations involved a 16-year-old student. (AP Photo/ Pool)

• Carrie McCandless

  Carrie McCandless is taken into custody after her sentencing hearing at Larimer County Justice Center for an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student at Brighton Charter High School, where she was a teacher, Friday, June 8, 2007, in Fort Collins, Colorado. McCandless was sentenced to 45 days in jail, five years on probation and a four-year deferred sentence. McCandless was arrested in May of 2011 for a parole violation after she tested positive for morphine. She served a 60-day sentence for the violation. (AP Photo/Sherri Barber, Pool)

• Carrie McCandless

  Carrie McCandless listens during her sentencing hearing at Larimer County Justice Center for an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student at Brighton Charter High School, where she was a teacher, Friday, June 8, 2007, in Fort Collins, Colorado. McCandless was taken to custody by a Larimer County sheriff's deputy after being sentenced to 45 days in jail, five years on probation and a four-year deferred sentence. In May of 2011, McCandless was sentenced to 60 days in jail for a parole violation after she tested positive for morphine. (AP Photo/Sherri Barber, Pool)

• Carrie McCandless

  Undated booking photo of Carrie McCandless from the Jefferson County Jail.

• Mary Kay Letourneau Mugshot

  Mary Kay Letourneau is shown in this undated photo taken in conjunction with her required registration at the King County courthouse in Washington as a level-two sex offender following her Aug. 4, 2004, release from prison. Letourneau completed a 7 1/2-year term for child rape in connection with a relationship she had with her former sixth-grade pupil Vili Fualaau, with whom she had two children. (AP Photo/Coutesy Washington State Sex Offender Information Center)

• Mary Kay Letourneau Listens To Testimony

  In this Feb. 6, 1998 file photo, Mary Kay LeTourneau listens to testimony during her court hearing Friday. Letourneau and her former sixth-grade student, the father of her two youngest children, are hosting a "Hot for Teacher" night at a Seattle nightclub. (AP Photo/Alan Berner, Pool)

• Vil Fualaau, Father 2 Daughters With 6th Grade Teacher Mary Kay Letourneau

  Vili Fualaau testified Wednesday, April 3, 2002, in his and his mother's civil lawsuit against the City of Des Moines and the Highline School District at the Regional Justice Center in Kent, Wash. Fualaau, then 18, and his mother, Soona Vili, are seeking $1 million from the city claiming police and school officials should have kept Fualaau from having sex with his teacher Mary Kay Letourneau. (AP Photo/Matt Brashears, Pool)

• Wendie A. Schweikert Mugshot

  This Feb. 24, 2006 booking photo shows Wendie A. Schweikert, 36, of Belton, South Carolina. Schweikert, an elementary school teacher, was arrested and charged with two counts of criminal sexual conduct with a minor, Laurens police said. The former fifth-grade teacher accused of having sex with her 11-year-old student was ordered held on $100,000 (84,060) bond. She was sentenced to 10 years in prison after pleading guilty in 2007. (AP Photo/Laurens, S.C Police Dept, File)

• Tara Driscoll Mugshot

  In this Aug. 5, 2011 photo released by the Nassau County Police Department in Garden City, N.Y., New York City English teacher Tara Driscoll is shown. Driscoll, 33, pleaded guilty to having sex with a student who attended the high school where she worked. She was sentenced to six years probation. (AP Photo/Nassau County Police Department)

• Rachel L. Holt Mugshot

  Rachel L. Holt, a science teacher at Claymont Elementary School, was arrested early Tuesday, April 4, 2006. The sixth-grade science teacher was accused of having sex with a 13-year-old student and was sentenced to 10 years in prison Friday March 16, 2007. Prosecutors had wanted Scott to sentence Holt to the maximum of 25 years. (AP Photo/New Castle County Police Department)

• Holly Hatcher

  This undated photo shows Holly Hatcher, a Gallatin High School teacher charged with statutory rape after being accused of having sex with a 17-year-old male student at her home in Nashville. (AP Photo/Nashville Police Department)

• Angela Renee Comer

  Angela Renee Comer, 28, talks to reporters in Tompkinsville, Ky., Wednesday, May 9, 2007, after a hearing where she reached a plea agreement. Comer was sentenced to five years in prison for one count of sodomy and five additional years for one count of custodial interference. The former teacher was charged with having sex with a 14-year-old middle school student and running off to Mexico with him in January 2006. (AP Photo/Jim Roshan)

• Brittni Colleps

  This Monday, May 16, 2011 photo shows Brittni Nicole Colleps, a teacher who has charged with having sex with five high school students at her home in Arlington, Texas. Colleps, 27, was jailed on $125,000 bond after turning herself in Monday morning, then posted bond in the afternoon for her release. She faces 20 years in prison. (AP Photo/Arlington Police Department)

• Stacy Schuler

  This video shows Stacy Schuler, 33, an ex-Ohio teacher convicted on Oct. 27 of having sex with five students. The teens testified their teacher had been drinking alcohol and initiated much of the contact during the encounters, which took place at Schuler's home. After a judge rejected an insanity defense that argued the teens took advantage of her, Schuler was sentenced to a total of four years in prison.

• Erica Depalo

  A former "Teacher of the Year" was arrested for allegedly having sex with one of her 15-year-old honors English students

• Sarah Jones, Cheryl Jones

  In a Monday, July 30, 2012 file photo, Sarah Jones, left, former Dixie Heights High School teacher and Cincinnati Ben-Gal cheerleader, and her mother, Cheryl Jones leave Kenton Circuit Court in Covington, Ky., after a motion hearing on charges against Jones of first degree sexual abuse for allegedly having sexual contact with a 17-year-old student when she was a teacher. Kenton Circuit Judge Patricia M. Summe on Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012 denied a request that text messages be thrown out in the case against Jones. She is facing a sex abuse charge. The trial is set to being on Oct. 10. Cheryl Jones is charged with tampering with evidence in the case. (AP Photo/The Enquirer, Patrick Reddy) NO SALES. MANDATORY CREDIT

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Comments

[tjimison]

01:06 PM on 04/21/2012

So let me get this straight .... Some of these people actually believe that teachers should lose their livelihood, their reputation, and their dignity because they were ACCUSED of wrongdoing and were stupid enough to join the ranks of imbeciles like myself who spend years trying to get students to learn something. If you thought public education was in the toilet, just give it a few more years. I can't wait to see how this turns out!

[aralpharetta]

01:17 PM on 04/19/2012

INDEPENDENT arbitrators found WRONGDOING ( this in itself is xcellent despite all the tied hands because what ordinarily occurs when problems are/have been identified, they make things real bad on them where in some instances they wish they were fired )

[Lifeisdone]

07:48 AM on 04/11/2012

I wish people would stop saying if people are not found guilty then they are innocent. This is so not true. OJ or aAnthony anyone? It means they have not been found guilty int he court of law, not that they are not guilty. Putting that aside, if you read the article, you will see that the accusations were found to be true by a third party, but the teachers were still not removed.how can you possibly be ok with this?

[CA Maestro]

04:43 PM on 04/11/2012

Except that formal, legal punishments can only be handed out only after guilt has been established in a court of law. I'm not sure why you would want to challenge that. It means that no one (including YOU) can be imprisoned, fired or other wise penalized for something that they have been accused of - only that which can be proven. No, I'm not okay with OJ - but if he's were going to go to jail, it should have been for something other than "you can just see it in his face."
If you re-read the article, you'll see that the third-party arbitrators *didn't* say the accusations were true, only that there was *some* wrongdoing, but not enough to fire someone over. We don't know what that means - the article doesn't give out details.
For example - A teacher who gets angry and raises their voice at a student may be seen as unprofessional and given a warning, but that's not the same thing as a teacher who uses a sexist statement, or a racial slur. Teachers often get accused of the latter, when they are only guilty of the former.
It sounds like you are approaching these teachers the same way you approach OJ - you 'just know' they are guilty.

[PC Contrarian]

09:24 AM on 04/10/2012

Teacher's unions have degraded our education system in more ways than this.

[glockman]

07:58 AM on 04/10/2012

"He added that "common-sense reforms" would give him the power to fire teachers who misbehave."

Yes, fire those teachers who are "accused" of crimes and misbehaving, not "found guilty of."

While we're at it, let's imprison robbers who are "accused" of robbery, who haven't actually been found "guilty of" robbery.

I mean, who needs a silly thing like due process? It's way overrated.

[Greg34]

02:20 PM on 04/10/2012

So sick teachers can molest kids and not get fired. That is BS these pervs should be fired ont he spot and lose any pension they have.

[glockman]

07:37 AM on 04/11/2012

So let me get this straight; little Johnny decides he doesn't like his teacher because his teacher makes him do homework, when he'd rather be playing his XBOX. Little Johnny then makes up a story that his teacher grabbed his private parts. That teacher should be fired on the spot? With no proof or evidence to substantiate Johnny's claim? Just because Johnny said it happened?

You, sir, are a fool for thinking such things. And if you don't think little Johnny would lie, you're an even bigger fool.

We have due process in this country. The accused must be proven to be guilty, not merely fired or imprisoned for innuendo and false allegations.

[lauren kling]

04:06 AM on 04/10/2012

The whole, I can't fire them because of the union is a pack of lies. No you can't fire them without due process but if you were not so lazy and cared at all about the students, you could take the necessary steps to get rid of incompetent or pervy teachers. Lazy administrators use this excuse all the time.

[Greg34]

02:21 PM on 04/10/2012

Millions of dollars in legal fees, sorry these union POS should be terminaed and stripped of their pension, their due process is to march on down to the EEOC and try to get reinstated. Slow to hire quick to fire. Teachers should not have this kind of protection. If you work with kids, and you conduct yourself like this you should not be around kids and terminated immediately. Kids matter more then the POS union teachers

[lauren kling]

04:00 AM on 04/10/2012

I actually worked with one of these teachers for many years. Trust me when I tell you that the other teachers were disgusted by this man. After having been accused of being inappropriate with a female student he was given a promotion to dean where he would be disciplining students one on one. The principal of the school gave him that position. She knows who she is and what she did . I am sure she feels not an ounce of guilt about it though. The union did not do this an administrator without a soul did. I am telling you that unless you have worked for the board of ed. You have no idea of how bad it really is.

[oldwolf49]

03:11 AM on 04/10/2012

So here is the answer then, the parents need to make these teacher's lives a living hell. No assaults or any batteries against them just picket their houses, put up fliers, maybe follow them around in a store talking louder than normal - tho for New Yorkers that might be not so easy. MAKE them want to leave. Been done before, do it again.

[Greg34]

02:23 PM on 04/10/2012

No I think if I were the father of the daughter an assault and battery would be justified.

[Davinci Mode]

07:51 AM on 04/09/2012

Teachers are human too.. and humans have criminal tendencies... seems like its time to hire angels for teaching.

[rwaller]

09:49 PM on 04/08/2012

This makes me angry. As a union member all my life, I am deeply saddened by the unions stance in these cases. It must be radically different in NY than WA state as these teachers would not be allowed back into a classroom. The postion taken by the union in these cases makes them no better than the Catholic church. As a teacher, I guarantee if I were aware that another teacher's conduct had been substantiated and the teacher allowed to move on, I would personally send letters of notice to the parents.

[hugobernie]

07:47 PM on 04/08/2012

Those teachers should be in jail.

[jbarelli]

09:13 PM on 04/08/2012

Should they?

Remember that the original story comes from the New York Daily News. About a half-step more reliable than the old Weekly World News. They write stories to sell newspapers and push a political agenda, and if they thought that a story about how President Obama was actually a space alien (forget Kenya, think Betelgeuse) would sell papers, they'd print it.

They are not big fans of unions.

I have no issue with putting teachers that sexually abuse children in jail. I have no issue with putting teachers that cannot resist having sex with their students in jail.

I do have issues with doing away with due process. If the arbitration process is broken, then fix the process.

But giving the chancellor unbridled authority to fire teachers based on an allegation isn't fixing the problem. It's using the problem to give one person the power to destroy a teacher's life and career with no recourse.

[rwaller]

10:06 PM on 04/08/2012

Schools systems have been as bad as the Catholic church in simply moving teachers instead of recognizing their abuse. Teachers would simply silently leave a school and with letters of recommendation in pocket, move down the road to the next school. It was far easier for the original school of abuse to queitly eliminate the problem in their midst by allowing them to quietly move on.

Most school systems caught up in the 80s and the practice where sexual abuse was swept under the counter ended. Obviously NY never got the memo.

[Greg34]

02:24 PM on 04/10/2012

Due process is to take your butt down to the EEOC and try and get your job back. Not making it impossible to be fired. Personally the father should put such a beating on that teacher and inform him it will be a daily occurance that the man resigns

[RawDogger]

05:36 PM on 04/08/2012

so because you like young 17-18 year old girls youre automatically labelled by society as a "peervert"? how sick is that. what guy doesnt like 17-18 year old girls. if you dont there is something seriously wrong with you. carry on students and teachers, one day the rest of the world will get out of the dark ages

[jbarelli]

08:58 PM on 04/08/2012

Had you been paying attention in history class, you would know that in the dark ages, it was commonplace for people in positions of authority and power to take advantage of those positions to gain sexual favors.

I prefer civilization, where people in positions of authority and trust are prevented from abusing those positions.

I do not agree that the teachers should be fired without a proper hearing of the facts involved. Just because someone is accused does not make them guilty, and adolescents have been known to take advantage of situations where they can exert pressure on authority figures.

But, if it turns out that the authority figure does not have the self control to resist sexual temptation, and has acted on that temptation, then we have laws for dealing with that situation.

Essentially, if they cannot keep it in their pants, then they can keep it in their prison coveralls.

[RawDogger]

05:32 PM on 04/08/2012

the reason student teacher relationships are so common is because it is NATURAL to be attracted to those around you and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. parents and teachers need to stay out of kids and teachers seex lives and mind their own business!!!!

[lauren kling]

04:09 AM on 04/10/2012

Girls have a natural born right to get an education without having to be groped an harassed by the teachers. If you cannot control yourself, you have no business teaching. How many young girls educations have been unfairly cut short because they just got tired of dealing with it? More than you know.

[Greg34]

02:25 PM on 04/10/2012

Teh father should beat that teacher into a pulp. I would no questions asked, union thug tactics to be used on a union thug

[jbarelli]

04:46 PM on 04/08/2012

I have no patience and no tolerance for teachers that abuse their positions of trust to gain sexual favors from students.

However...

I read the whole story. Apparently the "problem" is that tenured teachers have the right to a hearing with an arbitrator before they can be fired, and can appeal an arbitrator's ruling in civil court.

No, I don't see that as a problem. Without that, any sixth grader who is angry about a math grade can ruin both the career and the life of the teacher. Any kid that objects to failing a class because he couldn't be bothered to show up can threaten the teacher with a false claim of sexual misconduct.

Seriously, it appears that the chancellor is complaining that he cannot fire teachers without hearing or cause.

If the arbitration and hearing process is too slow, then fix the process. But don't give that much power to a single administrator, and don't put teachers in the position where any angry child can ruin their lives.

[NYCSSTeacher]

08:58 AM on 04/09/2012

Well spoken. As a NYC unionized teacher, I do not want teachers who abuse their positions. If they are guilty, they should, and usually are, removed.

The process is slow due to issues on both sides of the equation. The problem is extremely drawn-out and costly procedures for hearings and rulings. Unions get the blame for this, but departments of education and the lawyers on both sides drag their feet on hearings, and thus bear equal responsibility. So called reformers like Michelle Rhee, NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg, and his Chancellor Dennis Walcott have a greater interest in showing that due process doesn’t work than in repairing it.

[Greg34]

02:27 PM on 04/10/2012

I have a resolution, keep your arbitration but give the father one day a week with the teacher in a locked classroom. the teacher will resign after 2 weeks.

[Michael Morrison]

12:49 PM on 04/09/2012

jbarelli:

I second that.

[The Mad Guesser]

04:11 PM on 04/08/2012

O.K. I'm announcing my candidacy for NYC labor perversion arbitrator. All arbitration hearings will be on the teacher-perverts' front lawns and will be announced on national television. If more than 700 protestors show up with at least 50 cap-and-gown-effigies and 7 giant pitch forks, I will find for the school district if the child goes into seizures and speaks in tongues, like "the Exorcist."