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Oldify, Fatify, and Baldify: iPhone Apps Show You Your Old, Fat, Bald Future

Posted: 04/14/2012 3:20 pm Updated: 04/15/2012 10:50 am

Oldify Fatify Baldify Iphone Apps

Have you ever wanted to know what you might look like in 50 years? What about what you'd look like after eating 50,000 hotdog-filled pizza crusts and never exercising? Or if all of your hair fell out overnight and you were left with a tragic, Larry-David-esque halo of hair?

Well, you're in luck, weirdo, because there is now a trio of iPhone apps that simulate, with frightening realism, the sad, fat, bald old man or woman that we are all destined to become.

The apps are called Fatify, Oldify and Baldify, and each one shows you a computerized simulation of what you'll look like when you are fat, old, and bald, respectively; it does this by manipulating a photo that you feed into the app. You just point your iPhone's front-facing camera at your young, skinny, majestically-haired self, take a picture (or upload an old one), and the app does the rest.

The apps can either be used individually or in conjunction with one another. That means you can see what you'll look like when you're fat and old, or bald and fat, or old and bald, or fat, bald, and old. Or you can just get a glimpse into what you'd look like as an old person, or a fat person, or a bald person. It's the perfect way to confront your own mortality during the springtime of your life!

Each app comes with its own in-app upgrade, too: So on Oldify, you can see what you'll look when you're old, and for 99 cents, you can buy a tool that shows you what you'll look like when you're really old; Fatify's upgrade shows you what you'd look like when you're really fat; Baldify's adds in a combover feature.

Oldify and Fatify are free for a limited time, while Baldify will set you back $0.99. Below, we have a guided tour of the apps, how you use them, and what they do to your face. WARNING: Things are about to get old, fat, and bald up in here...

Step 1: Take A Picture
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First step: Open up the app (we're using Oldify) and either take a photo or upload an existing photo. Any photo will do.

Here's mine. Now let's get Old.

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Have you ever wanted to know what you might look like in 50 years? What about what you'd look like after eating 50,000 hotdog-filled pizza crusts and never exercising? Or if all of your hair fell out ...
Have you ever wanted to know what you might look like in 50 years? What about what you'd look like after eating 50,000 hotdog-filled pizza crusts and never exercising? Or if all of your hair fell out ...
 
 
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01:18 PM on 04/22/2012
Believe me you don't want to know it is not a pretty site
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02:56 AM on 04/18/2012
hi
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
whyus
San Francisco native
01:51 AM on 04/17/2012
Something I don't need to know.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
larrykat
Let's make a toast to future ghosts.
03:27 PM on 04/16/2012
Is the guy in the video starting out wearing a wig anyway?
10:25 AM on 04/16/2012
Very disturbing. I hope this doesn't happen to me. I'm not even married yet!?
09:37 AM on 04/16/2012
OMG....these apps are terrible! I don't want to look like that when I get old!
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IMissAmerica
Sandy Hook Elementary:: Forever in our hearts
08:39 AM on 04/16/2012
This is what I always imagined the future would be like...
08:37 AM on 04/16/2012
BREAKING: Indie rock band releases chickens in Apple store! Mayhem ensues. Tech industry cries fowl!

video footage:http://www.babysealclub.com
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
docpark
Vascular Surgeon
06:28 AM on 04/16/2012
Zombify!
01:45 AM on 04/16/2012
When will there be a Youthify, Thinify and Hirsutify for those of us who are already old, plump and bald?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Capn Scott
the 'moderated' me
12:48 AM on 04/16/2012
Dude, I think that app has you pegged. Better start hitting the gym and laying off the pasta.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Decipherer
Objects may be closer than they appear
05:54 PM on 04/15/2012
On the subject of that hideous new Pizza Hut product -- the gagworthy hotdog stuffed crust -- mentioned in the article, Bill Maher made the point on his show the other night that anyone who buys and eats that should no longer be entitled to health insurance!
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bart4u
Concerned Citizen
01:41 PM on 04/15/2012
I am already there hahahaha so why should I waste my hard earned dollar.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SionShankel
My opinons are all done sans pants
01:25 PM on 04/15/2012
Masochists will shell out the big bucks for this over priced app.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Winston Grant
"specialization is for insects."
01:23 PM on 04/15/2012
Oh, god--this is an unfortunate use of technology.