04/17/2012 01:10 pm ET

Let's Start A New Trend: The Divorce Registry

I decided this weekend, as I thought about the fact that after being divorced for nigh on three years I still don’t have a vacuum cleaner, that it was time for me to start a new trend: the divorce registry. A divorce registry is a lot like a bridal registry, except instead of reigistering for things you’ll never use (like candlesticks or crystal bowls), you register for all the things you desperately need that you lost to your ex. (As far as I can tell, stores don’t sell dignity, so you’ll have to find another way to get that back.)

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