The Secret Service is taking a lot of heat after 11 members of the president’s advance team were accused of misconduct in a brothel in Cartagena, Colombia, but no comments are hotter than those of a brothel owner in Carson City, Nevada.
Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, which has been featured on the HBO series Cathouse, says the Secret Service's behavior at the "Pley Club" last Wednesday night is "truly awful," and could have had considerable consequences.
"It's a national security risk. These guys were f***ing morons," Hof told The Huffington Post. "There's an old saying, 'loose lips sink ships,' and these agents are supposed to be trained to keep secrets, but if you're dumb enough to argue with a hooker over a $47 bill, you're dumb enough to leave the plans where the president is going to be by the bedside."
Hof may have a point because an exclusive report by ABC News reveals the 11 Secret Service men who were getting not-so-secret service at the brothel allegedly bragged "we work for Obama" and "we're here to protect him."
But moreover, Hof says it could have been avoided.
"If these guys had come to the Bunny Ranch and satisfied their needs before the trip, none of this would have happened," he said.
As self-serving as that may sound, Hof says he wouldn't charge the agents and is even working up a proposal to send an advance team of Bunny Ranch prostitutes to accompany the Secret Service on foreign trips to prevent snafus like this from happening again.
"We're contacting Sen. Harry Reid," Hof said. "We supported him for 40 years until he decided to ban brothels, but he is our representative and we would be offering this free of charge to support our country and our president."
In the meantime, Hof has been a vocal supporter of Ron Paul's presidential bid, since the Texas congressman supports legalized prostitution.
"We're actually offering a special 'Ron Paul Party' at the Ranch where anything goes," Hof said. "We also have a 'Mitt Romney Party' where you can change positions as often as you'd like, and a 'Newt Gingrich Party' where a lawyer files divorce papers on your behalf while you're at the Ranch."
Since it's unlikely that the Secret Service will publicly embrace Hof's generous offer, he's focusing on other projects.
In 30 days, he is going to open a Sci-Fi-themed cathouse where the sex workers dress up like aliens and greet customers with "Is that a laser blaster in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"