Smoke 'em if ya got 'em! If you don't got 'em, don't dial 911 to report your purloined pot, unless you want the police to bust your dopey butt.

There are plenty of stoners out there who smoked enough that they apparently didn't expect to get a knock on the door after reporting their weed-related grievances.

In celebration of April 20 -- 4/20 to those of us in the know -- HuffPost Weird News bring you some of the dankest marijuana 911 call stories on the web. We even threw in a couple of our favorite weird pot stories to give you a news buzz.

Keep that high going by reading this roundup:

Puking Pothead: Calvin Hoover, a 21-year-old Oregonian, called 911 from his car to report his weed stolen. But it took the dispatcher a while to understand him because the allegedly drunk driver was vomiting on himself during the call, according to the Associated Press. He said in the 2009 incident that someone had broken into his truck and stolen cash, a jacket and his weed. The dispatcher sent cops -- but they collared Hoover on DUI charges.

Weediculous:Colorado cannabis smoker James Farnsworth got what he wanted when he called 911 to report his ganja stolen. Officers arrested the alleged perp. What Farnsworth didn't expect is that cops would search him as well, find enough weed on him to label him a dealer, and arrest him on the spot. In the November 2011 incident, Farnsworth told cops that Derrick Richardson had Tazed him and stole his pot as the two met for a drug deal, according to KKCO. Richardson was arrested on suspicion of aggravated battery and pot possession, and Farnsworth was collared on suspicion of marijuana sale.

'Time Is Going By Really Really Really Really Slow': Indeed. In this famous 911 call from 2007 (video below), Detroit-area officer Edward Sanchez allegedly took some green he'd confiscated during an arrest he made, cooked it into a batch of brownies, and ate them with his wife. He got so blazed that he thought he was dying -- according to the tape -- and called 911 for an ambulance.

"We made brownies," he told the dispatcher. "And I think we're dead. Time is going by really really really really slow."

In the end, Sanchez did not die, but he didn't get charged with a crime, either.

Story continues below

Friends don't let friends smoke and call 911.

I Know My Address, Man, It's... It's...: Von Powell, a 22-year-old man from Gainesville, Fla., called cops to report that he was robbed at gunpoint for his sticky-icky and cash. The Weekly Vice reported Powell told police that he was sitting in his living room smoking a blunt, when two armed men burst through the door and stole his stuff. Sadly, Powell couldn't tell them where he was because he'd forgotten his address. Officers found him driving around his neighborhood of Greenleaf (yes, Greenleaf) and questioned him -- with the help of a drug-sniffing dog. He was arrested on a charge of marijuana possession.

Ganja Granny: She may be the oldest drug kingpin of all time. Darlene Mayes, 73, was allegedly found with 4 pounds of pot and nearly $300,000 in her home. Investigators believe that she supplied about 40 percent of the pot circulating in the vicinity, which includes Tulsa and parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri.

Watch this weediculous video:

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  • Joshua Basso

    Joshua Basso, 32, called 911 to request female deputies be sent to his home for "sexual gratification." He was arrested on Aug. 24 and confessed to making the lewd phone calls.

  • Jarvis Sutton

    Jarvis Sutton, 34, was arrested after calling 911 80 times in one day asking for a delivery of burgers, Kool-Aid and pot.

  • Robert Hagerman

    Police in Tampa, Fla., arrested Robert Hagerman for calling 911 on his daughter after she refused to buy him a beer.

  • Mark Welch

    He called 911 - TWICE - to report that his dreams were becoming a reality. Listen to his 911 calls.

  • Clyde Hobbs

    Clyde Hobbs was arrested in May, 2012 for allegedly calling 911 at least 17 times -- to talk dirty to operators. He'd been arrested several times in the past for the same crime. When cops arrived to collar him, Hobbs asked, "Are you here to arrest me again?" <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/09/clyde-hobbs-called-911-to-talk-sex_n_1502536.html?1336569858" target="_hplink">Read more.</a>

  • Michael Barker

    Michael Barker called 911 repeatedly in Hudson, Fla. asking them to fetch him a taxi and saying that he lost his football. Cops arrested him for allegedly misusing the emergency system on Feb. 20, 2012. Read more <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/23/911-caller-wants-taxi-michael-barker-florida_n_1296979.html" target="_hplink">here.</a>

  • Everett Lages

    Everett Lages was arrested when he allegedly called 911 after he was not allowed to bring his kitten inside a strip club.

  • Rother McLennon

    Rother McLennon of East Hartford, Conn., called 911 and complained that he "specifically asked for little turkey and little ham, a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise," and the Grateful Deli in East Hartford got it wrong.

  • Weediculous 911 Calls

    Calvin Hoover, a 21-year-old Oregonian, called 911 from his car to report his weed stolen. But it took the dispatcher a while to understand him because the allegedly drunk driver was vomiting on himself during the call. Colorado cannabis smoker James Farnsworth got what he wanted when he called 911 to report his ganja stolen. Officers arrested the alleged perp. What Farnsworth didn't expect is that cops would search him as well, find enough weed on him to label him a dealer, and arrest him on the spot. Detroit-area officer Edward Sanchez allegedly took some green he'd confiscated during an arrest he made, cooked it into a batch of brownies, and ate them with his wife. He got so blazed that he thought he was dying -- according to the tape -- and called 911 for an ambulance. "We made brownies," he told the dispatcher. "And I think we're dead. Time is going by really really really really slow."

  • John R. Pacella

    John R. Pacella called 911 at 4 a.m. and told the operator he "wanted to see an officer because he wanted to fight with them." When police showed up at his door, he began pushing and shoving officers. He was promptly arrested.

  • "Butt Dials"

    Calling 911 by accident can make you feel like an ass, but now comes a study suggesting that nearly 40 percent of New York City's 911 calls were "butt dials."

  • Christian Luckett

    Christian Luckett placed 10 calls to 911 to complain about his service at a Skyline Chili restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio. Luckett was allegedly drunk when he called the police and demanded officers come to his home for a domestic disturbance -- but he was really just mad at Skyline Chili's. Cops arrested him at his apartment.

  • Doyle Hardwick

    Doyle Hardwick is now behind bars after calling 911 complaining that his wife would not let him check Facebook in peace.

  • Mary Jaggers

    Mary Jaggers called 911 to report there was drinking going in a nearby bar.

Loading Slideshow...
  • Joshua Basso

    Joshua Basso, 32, called 911 to request female deputies be sent to his home for "sexual gratification." He was arrested on Aug. 24 and confessed to making the lewd phone calls.

  • Jarvis Sutton

    Jarvis Sutton, 34, was arrested after calling 911 80 times in one day asking for a delivery of burgers, Kool-Aid and pot.

  • Robert Hagerman

    Police in Tampa, Fla., arrested Robert Hagerman for calling 911 on his daughter after she refused to buy him a beer.

  • Mark Welch

    He called 911 - TWICE - to report that his dreams were becoming a reality. Listen to his 911 calls.

  • Clyde Hobbs

    Clyde Hobbs was arrested in May, 2012 for allegedly calling 911 at least 17 times -- to talk dirty to operators. He'd been arrested several times in the past for the same crime. When cops arrived to collar him, Hobbs asked, "Are you here to arrest me again?" <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/09/clyde-hobbs-called-911-to-talk-sex_n_1502536.html?1336569858" target="_hplink">Read more.</a>

  • Michael Barker

    Michael Barker called 911 repeatedly in Hudson, Fla. asking them to fetch him a taxi and saying that he lost his football. Cops arrested him for allegedly misusing the emergency system on Feb. 20, 2012. Read more <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/23/911-caller-wants-taxi-michael-barker-florida_n_1296979.html" target="_hplink">here.</a>

  • Everett Lages

    Everett Lages was arrested when he allegedly called 911 after he was not allowed to bring his kitten inside a strip club.

  • Rother McLennon

    Rother McLennon of East Hartford, Conn., called 911 and complained that he "specifically asked for little turkey and little ham, a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise," and the Grateful Deli in East Hartford got it wrong.

  • Weediculous 911 Calls

    Calvin Hoover, a 21-year-old Oregonian, called 911 from his car to report his weed stolen. But it took the dispatcher a while to understand him because the allegedly drunk driver was vomiting on himself during the call. Colorado cannabis smoker James Farnsworth got what he wanted when he called 911 to report his ganja stolen. Officers arrested the alleged perp. What Farnsworth didn't expect is that cops would search him as well, find enough weed on him to label him a dealer, and arrest him on the spot. Detroit-area officer Edward Sanchez allegedly took some green he'd confiscated during an arrest he made, cooked it into a batch of brownies, and ate them with his wife. He got so blazed that he thought he was dying -- according to the tape -- and called 911 for an ambulance. "We made brownies," he told the dispatcher. "And I think we're dead. Time is going by really really really really slow."

  • John R. Pacella

    John R. Pacella called 911 at 4 a.m. and told the operator he "wanted to see an officer because he wanted to fight with them." When police showed up at his door, he began pushing and shoving officers. He was promptly arrested.

  • "Butt Dials"

    Calling 911 by accident can make you feel like an ass, but now comes a study suggesting that nearly 40 percent of New York City's 911 calls were "butt dials."

  • Christian Luckett

    Christian Luckett placed 10 calls to 911 to complain about his service at a Skyline Chili restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio. Luckett was allegedly drunk when he called the police and demanded officers come to his home for a domestic disturbance -- but he was really just mad at Skyline Chili's. Cops arrested him at his apartment.

  • Doyle Hardwick

    Doyle Hardwick is now behind bars after calling 911 complaining that his wife would not let him check Facebook in peace.

  • Mary Jaggers

    Mary Jaggers called 911 to report there was drinking going in a nearby bar.