"G.I. Joe: Retaliation" isn't necessarily a reboot of "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" -- the critically-derided-but-financially-successful "Joe" film released in the summer of 2009 -- but it's certainly a remodel. Gone is director Stephen Sommers and "Rise of the Cobra" actors like Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marlon Wayans (Channing Tatum appears in "G.I. Joe: Retaliation," but judging from the trailer he might not be long for its world); replacing them are director Jon M. Chu, Adrianne Palicki, Bruce Willis and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Or, as he was called when the "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" trailer debuted on Monday night at CinemaCon: "Franchise Viagra."
"[I]t's a beloved franchise," Johnson told Moviefone earlier this year. "So when the studio came to me with the idea about starring in the movie, they quickly followed that up with, 'Here are our ideas of rebooting it: More real, more rooted, more boots-to-the-ground, and a bit darker.'" Sounds good, Rock! Also: a bit more cheesy-but-awesome -- at least if you judge "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" on some of the perfectly meat-headed dialogue presented in the newest trailer.
Ahead, the 16 best ("best") lines from the "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" trailer. Count on many more when the film explodes into theaters on June 29.
1. "They're all dead."
2. "There's only one man who could authorize a strike like that ... and I voted for him."
3. "What if the president isn't the president?"
4. "You're insane."
5. "We have to assume there's no one we can trust."
6. "There is one man."
7. "Call me Joe."
8. "This is it, boys. This is what we waited for."
10. "Whoever did this, will be back."
11. "We're all that's left."
12. "Let's get to work."
13. "World ain't saving itself."
14. "Something else is going on here."
15. "Get out of there, now."
16. "I ain't gonna be in neutral."
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