Denise Abbott, Ohio Mom, Uses Facebook Photo To Punish Teenage Daughter (VIDEO)

"I do not know how to keep my [mouth shut]. I am no longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask why."

Those are the words written across a Facebook photo of one Ohio teen, who's featured with a red "X" across her mouth.

Denise Abbott said her 13-year-old daughter, Ava, was being disrespectful, so she took to the social networking site, which Ava often frequents, to make a point.

"I decided to do something that I know would totally impact her, and that the next time she started that, she'd think 'I don't want my face all over Facebook again with a red 'X' over my mouth,''' Abbott told NBC.

Knowing that her daughter was fit to handle her punishment, Abbott said she doesn't regret her actions.

"You have to adapt your parenting skills with the times," she told NBC.

Still, some parents say public humiliation isn't the best way to teach children a lesson.

"Facebook is a social media site for people to interact. NOT a place where you can humiliate your child," "kirby," a Chicago Now blogger, wrote.

"It's a lot more difficult to find an appropriate punishment and actually stick with it, than to act like a child and try to 'get back' at them for being mean to you," she added.

Abbott's actions call to mind the tactics of one North Carolina father, who shot his daughter's laptop and posted the video on Facebook after his 15-year-old wrote a disrespectful message about her parents.

Tommy Jordan's methods drew national criticism, but the father said he stood by what he did.

Jordan's daughter, Hannah Marie, said she thought her dad "overreacted a bit" but that she understood why he did it.

Abbott's daughter Ava took the same stance: "I feel like I deserved it because I was mean to my mom and spoke disrespectful to her in front of my friends," she told NBC in an email.

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Comments

[matt2414]

06:24 PM on 07/03/2012

There's only one problem with this:
COuld this situation have been prevented by the parent keeping tighter tabs on the child?
Did the parent allow the child to have the computer unsupervised in her room? I wouldn't.
If she did, then the parent can partly blame herself.

[Melissa Burgett]

12:24 AM on 08/07/2012

The girl was not being bad on the computer she was just talking mean to her mom in front of her friends and being disrespectful so that was her punishment. so to answer your question no it could not.

[Luluhudson]

11:06 AM on 06/12/2012

This is a bad parenting move. Posting or sending an embarrassing picture of someone else online is a form of Cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying is a type of violence that can do lasting harm to young people. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and even suicide. The best way to discipline disrespectful kids is, essentially, to treat them with respect and insist they do the same for you. Without respect there is nothing. These tips might be useful for parents who want to foster strong values, develop responsibility and respect within their children: http://www.mytroubledteen.com/articles/defiant-behavior/how-to-deal-with-disrespectful-teenagers.html

[Gary Ugarek]

10:08 PM on 05/21/2012

Here is my single biggest issue with this article... no need for it to be public, and those who are commenting on it, need to mind their own business. This is not your child. Your input on how this mother should or should not parent is not needed, and it is not your place to judge her on how she parents her child.

You're welcome to an opinion, but what some of you individuals post is pure judgement, and not opinion.

[TS69]

05:17 PM on 05/21/2012

she will get lots of pics of mom sleeping, picking_ her nose_ etc.. and post them later.... you can not keep her off the net forever

[fu8ar]

04:44 PM on 05/21/2012

I little embarrassment compared to the alternative possibilities such as these: Causes future employer to refuse to hire, causes potential predators to take notice and attempt to cause harm, potential bullying(which we all know that parents aren't empowering their kids to handle by standing up to the bullies and prefer to get big brother to step in,) and more possible negative outcomes. This woman did what she thought was best for her child. No child is the same, so this form of punishment might not even work on someone else child. Just like there is no guidelines to good parenting, it's a learn as you go process and you just hope that you have done everything you possibly can to raise your child to become successful on their own.

[AnJalyn]

06:51 PM on 04/29/2012

I disagree with the way this girl's mother is punishing her. Posting an embarrassing picture like that for everyone to see is a little too inflammatory.

[C3Z]

06:24 AM on 05/02/2012

Sometimes parents get fed up and they have to show you who the boss really is. Did she go too far? Maybe yes, maybe no. I've been smacked in the mouth in front of my friends. That is a very low feeling. And I learned from it. Either way, I think when you push your parent over the edge, they have the obligation to stand up to you and assert their authority. To me, it's good parenting. She'll probably thank her mother in later years...I did.

[Toni Rusher]

06:52 AM on 04/29/2012

In the case of the Abbott family, in all honesty weather we agree or disagree is really beside the point. In these situations what we need to do is quietly look inside our own hearts and consult with people who are aware of child psychological abuse guidelines if we feel that a parent has gone over the line. But for us to give this situation heavy publicity and down the parents publicly is going to result in more damage to that young lady than anything her parents did on this occasion. Try and look back and ask yourself where you would be if you knew at thirteen most of America disrespected your parents. We need to keep this kind of forum in check. http://www.itsaboutlivingnow.blogspot.com ToniAliceRusher

[SuperKK]

12:19 PM on 04/29/2012

"where you would be if you knew at thirteen most of America disrespected your parents."

That would be the greatest gift she could receive. It would be a reality check on her parents, and if she understands how disturbed they really are, it may give her greater confidence in following her own intuition rather than obeying some very warped individuals.

[beesNtrees]

02:11 PM on 04/28/2012

Facebook has really overstayed it's welcome. I graduated high school in '05, and from middle school age through high school, we had a whole variety of different social networking sites. You would never see anyones parents on those. Teens need places to vent, and it's not really a bad thing. Im sure if I look back to friendster, or one of my many online "diaries", I'll see a lot of stuff complaining about my parents. It's harmless. Kids need to abandon facebook (it's really just become an ad machine and a bastardization of what it was supposed to be anyway), and find the next thing to move on to, then when the parents catch wind to that, move on again. Kids will always have the advantage of knowing about new technologies faster.
Oh and what this mother did was insanely immature, and that's coming from a 25 year old. I think it reflects a lot worse on her than her child. I expect a 15 year old to say disrespectful things online, but an adult? SMH

[Linwood Kelley]

01:21 PM on 04/28/2012

great

[slinkymom]

11:49 AM on 04/28/2012

As a parent, this mother obviously lacked the parenting skills to deal with this on her own and used Facebook to do what she, herself, was incapable of doing.  Her daughter will carry this with her and it will do doubt impact their relationship for a very long time.

[thegrrrr8est]

10:58 AM on 04/28/2012

Yea, Mom!

The fact that the kid *got it* proves its effectiveness. If only more parents would step up and be parents.

[Brendan MacDonald]

11:13 AM on 04/28/2012

Huh-Huh-HuhHuh-Huh-Huh, yeah that'll lern her reel good. Try the A.P.A. website next time "mom", and make an informed decision from the "fancy book-learners".

[webrat]

06:53 AM on 04/28/2012

Got to admit kind of funny what mom did. Bet they all sit down at the kitchen table and have a wonderful healthy meal together as a united family. Ummm then again mom prob needs to watch her back. Nothing like waking up to a pissed off little girl standing above your bed at 2:00 am with a butcher knife in her hand.

[webrat]

06:23 AM on 04/28/2012

Ya know. Now i understand why we have so many kids roaming the streets and schools with simi-automatic weapons.

[thegrrrr8est]

10:59 AM on 04/28/2012

Why? Because of the vicious bullying that kids do to each other on FB? Yep. I'd agree with that. Good for this mom for stopping ugly behavior before it becomes a real problem.

[nevergiveup]

11:21 AM on 04/28/2012

Research has finally proven that Facebook promotes narcissism and reduces empathy. Facebook lovers are creating a world where "ME" is the center of the Universe, and everyone else is just the mirror.

[webrat]

11:24 AM on 04/28/2012

You know you hit the nail on the head. FB Bullying. Don't take me the wrong way. I thought the way mom handled it was kinda funny. But not all children are like her daughter. Alot can be downright nasty when you embaress them in front of their peers.

[jinxsie76]

05:14 AM on 04/28/2012

I am not a parent, therefore may not be "qualified" to comment on this, although once, I was teenager-- but it seems like this story is being over-analyzed & blown out of proportion. I don't know if I would use the same method as this mother, if I had children, it doesn't seem to scream cruel & unusual.
We don't know the factors that may have led her to post the FB photo. Perhaps backtalking/ disrespect is/was a major issue in the household & reached a critical point where the mother felt drastic measures were needed. Maybe her style of parenting is based on the premise of there are consequences for actions, good or bad. Maybe she IS a power and control monger, bent on emotionally destroying her daughter through "public humiliation" as some suggested.
Personally, it didn't seem anything more than a modern day version of this:
Making a child who steals, take the item back to the owner or store, say what they did & apologize for their behavior. In order to teach a child these things: stealing is wrong & not tolerated, you are responsible for your actions, and the inherent value of apologizing when you are wrong, even if you don't feel like it.
There are basic values that any parent should instill in their children, To call a mother abusive for trying to instill values and character by the means she felt most effective for her child in the situation at the time, is going

[miraclewhip515]

03:36 AM on 04/28/2012

Sorry, the internet is not a way to punish your child. Do you really believe such childish behavior will make her act like an adult? When something is wrong you do it privately not publicly. Don't air out your dirty garbage on the net. I can't believe some parents would bend so low and do this. OK That was my two cents....

[nevergiveup]

11:22 AM on 04/28/2012

The mother is modeling some pretty crappy parenting skills which she seems to be so proud of.