Funniest Kentucky Derby Hats (PHOTOS)
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Some people look good in hats, some don't. But if you're going to the Kentucky Derby, you don't seem to have a choice; elaborate hats are the order of the day. But as is often the case, with great tradition comes great exaggeration of that tradition.
In honor of Saturday's mint-julep-swiggin', horse-runnin', crazy-hat-wearin' extravaganza, here's a look at some of the funniest, craziest and weirdest headwear from previous Derbies. Which is your favorite?
Aggressively Pink Hat
My colors are blush and bashful.
'I Had The Same Nightmare' Hat
There was this giant purple monster with feathers and it was chasing me through my old high school.
Las Vegas Show Man Hat
The sunglasses really make this hat work.
Tim Burton Hat
Originally designed to be worn by Helena Bonham Carter at the Oscars, this hat has found new life startling horses at Churchill Downs.
When the wind blows, the horses turn and screw this hat more securely into the wearer's skull. You never want to lose a hat.
See, the flamingo is a hat, but the flamingo's head is also wearing a hat. And somewhere on top, sits the entire universe.
Jack Woltz Hat
Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (It's from "The Godfather"...look it up.)
'So, Your Mom Really Likes The Kentucky Derby' Hat
Why have less when you can have more?
'The Voice' Hat
First you must judge them solely on their hats, then you can see their faces.
In Praise Of Mint Juleps Hat
This hat gets a thumbs up. It just needs a longer straw.
Mixed Messages Hat
The horses hanging by their necks say, "no," but that come-hither red bow says, "yes."
Decapitated Horse Hat #2
It's the dead, soulless blue eyes that give this hat its edge.
'Makin Hats Is Easy' Hat
"Look, I took my golf hat, that lei thing my wife got at lady's night and a giant carrot...boom, I gotta Derby hat. Where's my million fuckin' dollars?"
Last Minute Hat
This is literally garbage. He coated his hands in honey, shoved them into a dumpster, and pulled out his hat.
Laura Palmer Hat
"She's dead, wrapped in plastic."
'Bros Before Ho-rses' Hat
Because the Kentucky Derby is the mardi gras of derbies.
'Look Me In The Boobs When I'm Talking To You' Hat
This is a public service to all men at the Derby; they will have absolutely no confusion about where they should be looking when this woman offers to let them buy her 8 more mint juleps.
'I May Have Made a Mistake' Hat
The chin strap is a dead giveaway. Some necks just aren't made for heavy-hat lifting.
Double Clownicide Hat
"Look, if you know of a better use for the scalps of the clowns you just murdered, I would LOVE to hear it."
This man and his hat arrived at the Kentucky Derby by way of the new telepod he invented. He's fine.
Double Steeple Hat
The mustache is load-bearing.
Independence Day Hat
This hat was directed by Roland Emmerich and cost $75,000,000 to make.
To the extent that we've been asking, "Why on earth would anyone wear that?" we must also submit this photo, which seems to explain why ridiculous hats are so very important. This woman's fairly tame hat clearly inspires a melancholy mood rather than festive cheer. Perhaps if she had glued a model train to it, she would have had a better Derby experience.
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