Middle-Aged Dating Advice From A Babe Magnet

Middle-aged men in search of a new life partner may need to drop the red Corvette and learn how to be better listeners. When it comes to post 50 dating, the one big thing they have going for them is that the gender odds are in their favor. But numbers aside, many men who re-enter the dating waters after an hiatus of a long marriage are a little rusty when it comes to wooing and wowing. So along comes a book to help them play the midlife dating game and become the babe magnet of their dreams.

Written by Chad Stone, "Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century," is a humorous look at one man's dating journey after leaving a 25-year marriage, and is chock full of advice. Here are some of Stone's favorite tips for middle-aged men hoping to become babe magnets:

To be a babe magnet, you must believe you are a babe magnet.
Yeah, he's talking about projecting self-confidence here. We'd add, there's a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. Practice so that you don't cross it.

Being a lewd jerk doesn’t impress babes.
If a babe’s first impression of you is “jerk,” there will be no chance for a second impression, writes Stone. Amen.

Figure out what women want and do it.
Granted, this step trips up a bunch of guys. Stone's advice is very specific: "Make the phone calls. Send the emails. Initiate the contacts. It’s what babe magnets do, and it’s what women want." We'd add: Treat people respectfully; nobody likes a guy who hollers at the waiter or is a skimpy tipper. (And yes, we can read the check upside down.)

Embrace social opportunities where males are likely to be outnumbered by females.
Isn't that just about everywhere?

An ordinary opening line delivered with confidence and genuine charm is better than a really great one-liner delivered with creepiness.
Operative word there: genuine.

The man always pays for the first date.
Adds Stone, "And the second and third. Probably the fourth and the fifth, too. In fact, you can pretty much expect to pay for everything until you and your babe are in a committed relationship. A babe needs to feel adored and cherished, and paying for dates is one sure-fire way to communicate that to her." We suspect he's going to get flamed on both sides from this one, but let's not shoot the messenger, shall we?

If you can’t impress the babes with your classiness and sophistication, at least make them laugh.
I know a few babes who might argue that making them laugh trumps class or sophistication.

When you meet the real McCoy, don't blow it.
Unless you want the rest of your life to be measured in conquests, know when it's time to stop the hunt and enjoy the relationship.

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Comments

[notaniceguy]

01:48 PM on 05/19/2012

You have the money, you make a call. You don't, nobody wants you anyway. The fact that you need to pay for everything and be a "clown" I learned in my 30's. Women want to be entertained and preferably want their savings untouched. No woman paid a dime for me ever, not like I wanted it. Am I puzzled here, so I need an advice on how to date? No. If a woman doesn't have the money (most cases), man with the money will consider her as seriously as any other. If a man doesn't have the money, he'll be out of consideration for any woman. So advise should sound like this: make some more money or keep dreaming.

[mthiker2012]

09:55 PM on 05/17/2012

yes, women over 50 do expect men to pay for the dates...and as a man I always assume that is the case, but if a woman expresses the desire to split the check, I defer but only after it is clear that I had asked her out and I expected to pay for the dinner. sometimes this works, sometimes not...

[joeseldner]

03:47 PM on 05/07/2012

Ann Brenoff, who writes these columns about over 50 dating, was a real estate writer, and evidently knows almost nothing about over 50 dating except the one thread that runs through her work: Men must pay for everything. Her lack of insight is boundless. Did anyone check her credentials or read her work before giving her this gig?

[psridgell]

09:34 PM on 05/06/2012

If you want to really be a babe magnet at over fifty, (because lets face it, you are ugly and old)
pull out the wallet and find the nearest red light district !!

[paamber]

09:30 PM on 05/06/2012

does misogyny ring a bell?

[sugarcreekchile]

08:46 PM on 05/06/2012

How to be a babe magnet in your 50's? Have money...lots of money.

[Goldie Treasure]

07:06 PM on 05/06/2012

If a man in his 50's and looking for a woman his own age, getting rid of the Vette may be a good idea, but if he is trying to get with a younger girl I hate to say it but he will need some money. A man in his 50's just is not as attractive as a man in his 20's or 30's and probably not as fun. A regular older guy I wouldn't give the time of day but if I ever got a chance with someone like say, Jimmy Page or some other rich older rock star I'd be all over him. I find him attractive either way but the fame and money do help.

[wisewyears]

05:50 PM on 05/06/2012

Perhaps the title "Babe Magnet" was just to get our attention. What this man is saying is absolutely true if you want to attract a lovely, sophisticated, fun, geneous, loving, intelligent, nurturing woman. If a man treats a woman as Chad is suggesting, both lives would be enhanced and enriched. What a good woman brings to the table for a good man is beyond any dating treats he may offer. Women give in so many ways that there isn't a way any man could ever "pay" her what she does to enliven and expand upon what he would have without her.

Let's hear from some men who agree with Chad, because Chad is giving men some very good advice if they are looking for a long-term relationship and someone to share in the joys and woes of life. Have fun and cherish a special person.

[joeseldner]

03:49 PM on 05/07/2012

His advice is perfectly fine - but so obvious as to be almost painful to read.

[savantpm]

04:32 PM on 05/06/2012

How to be a middle-aged babe magnet-$$$$$$$$. I feel sorry for you.

[LeftRightCenter]

02:44 PM on 05/06/2012

this article made me laugh 2day...

[englishman545]

01:29 PM on 05/06/2012

Meet a woman in her early twenties, become friends, this is especially helpful if her mom is divorced or widowed.

When you meet her mom you already have her daughter in your corner.

[DeuxExMachina]

08:07 PM on 05/07/2012

What if you prefer the daughter???

[englishman545]

11:02 AM on 05/08/2012

Wouldn't go there, i told her I was adopting her as my neice.

I have children 20 years older than her, I don't think of her in that way.

[englishman545]

01:18 PM on 05/06/2012

The women who are "professional daters" are not mentioned.

They are the ones who only want a free meal at a good restaurant.

Just be youeself, she'll find out sooner or later that you are not presenting your true self, could be a releationship killer.

Just be calm, listen to her but also participate in conversation.

Finally she should be her true self, you don't want to feel you have a throughbred and find out you have a plow horse.

As you get to know her and her friends watch her when you know she is telling her friend a lie, watch her body movements and voice pitch.

Good luck in your quests, half the fun is the journey!

[alitwoshoes]

05:37 PM on 05/06/2012

Horses? Don't forget the cows as in milk being free. I'm sure there are a lot of animals you could reference. Women will sure to be impressed....NOT!

[Kelli Greenwood]

09:42 PM on 05/06/2012

Sometimes the plow horse is the better choice. Hard working, real, and low maintenance. However, whatever horse you choose - you still end up with a horse. Women, unlike horses all have beauty and the appeal of not being a farm animal.

The real goal is to find a woman that you love, and she loves you. Work to stay in love so that you wont end up middle ages and on the prowl.

[jf12]

08:19 AM on 05/07/2012

And she lets you ride ...

[englishman545]

11:38 AM on 05/07/2012

Kelli, you are correct, it's finding the woman which you can share a mutual love with and build a life with.

I was always drawn to "Trophy" wives, finding out too late that no one can love them more than they love themselves.

I've also learned not to marry anyone crazier than I am....

I am meeting many interesting women now, but none of marriage material. At the Menopause age some women have issues due to Menopause.

But there is the joy of the hunt and meeting new and interesting people.

Since I dno't drink I stay out of bars and night clubs, but Church Ladies are the calmest and most interesting to me. I enjoy a peaceful conversation......

[Justmyopinion123]

11:05 AM on 05/06/2012

I guess if you can not be who you are you need to be who you are not ! Yup see how long that last. I rather be who I am take it or leave it...

[therealchadstone]

04:10 AM on 05/06/2012

Thanks for all of the wonderful comments. This story barely scratches the surface of my dating experiences. For much more, including the humorous parts of dating, go to Amazon. com and buy Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Thanks!

[bespoken]

07:45 PM on 05/05/2012

I have found that there are lots of attractive single women out there in their mid 40s to early 50s, and frankly, it's not hard to find dates. I'm 54 and I enjoy the company of someone who is a peer, and that's really what I'm looking for in a partner, whether we're just seeing each other or if it develops into something more. The great thing about this stage of life is that both you and the woman you are likely to be dating have a pretty good handle on what we want and expect out of life and our relationships. Because by now, there's enough been there, done that.