Debra Messing Divorce: Actress Says She's 'At Peace' With Split

Debra Messing is opening up about the end of her decade-long marriage to Daniel Zelman.

"It's a new chapter in my personal life. I'm walking a path I've never walked before. But I'm optimistic," the "Smash" star said in the June issue of Ladies’ Home Journal. "Every thought is dictated by what's best for our son. We are completely on the same page in that regard. We are dear friends. And I am at peace with the journey we've had. I feel like the 20 years we had together has been a huge success. And despite the fact that everything is changing, I think everyone is thriving."

The 43-year-old actress announced her separation from Zelman, a producer and actor, in December 2011. She told Ladies’ Home Journal that the couple had talked about separating prior to moving to New York to film "Smash."

Messing also reflected on marriage itself and whether it's possible for a union to last.

"I think the institution of marriage is a noble thing. I think the idea of a partner for life is incredibly romantic," she said. "But now we're living to 100. A hundred years ago, people were dying at age 37. Til death do us part was a much different deal."

It's not the first time Messing has dished on marriage. In June 2007, she told Redbook magazine, "I'm not one to give out marriage advice. Circumstance has so much to do with whether or not your relationship survives and evolves," she said. "It's work every day. It's sacrifice and compromise. Life is hard, and it's not in our human nature to compromise quickly and easily. It's something you have to want to learn how to do."

Messing and Zelman, who met as graduate students at New York University, married in 2000 and have an 8-year-old son, Roman. The actress is reportedly dating her "Smash", co-star Will Chase, who also recently separated from his wife.

Below, a look back at Messing and Zelman's marriage:

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Comments

[lmayj]

02:34 PM on 05/16/2012

she certaintly sounds like she knows what happened to her relationship and is moved on, hopefully all the people in this relationship have the same confidence in their futures

[edejan]

08:43 PM on 05/10/2012

"It's work every day. It's sacrifice and compromise. Life is hard, and it's not in our human nature to compromise quickly and easily. It's something you have to want to learn how to do."

It's called growing up.

[andrewf25]

03:42 AM on 05/09/2012

if debra messing fell in the forest............nevermind.

[dvizzyv]

02:24 PM on 05/07/2012

She's not the first to walk out on a marriage and go for a lesser known, married co-start who sees his fame ticket walk in -- Julia Roberts walked on long-term boyfriend Benjamin Bratt to start on-set with her current cameraman husband, hello, can we say Tori Spelling...

[TXconfidnz]

08:46 AM on 05/08/2012

Didn't Julia also ditch Kiefer Sutherland for Lyle Lovett at one point?

[dvizzyv]

03:02 PM on 05/08/2012

No, but close: she ditched Kiefer at the altar for his best friend AND HER FLAT LINE co-star, Jason Patrick, but that never went anywhere...

[judylbo46]

08:49 AM on 05/07/2012

What a novel excuse for divorce. "Til death do us part was a much different deal" because people are living longer. A ridiculous excuse from a self-centered, egotistical, lazy, uncommitted "celebrity".

[negogato]

12:51 PM on 05/07/2012

She was married 20 years. You?

[judylbo46]

01:33 PM on 05/07/2012

Married in December 1969. That makes it almost 43 years. And to the same man. Okay?

[sweetc7306]

04:15 PM on 05/07/2012

Messing and Zelman were married twelve years. 2000 to 2012...

[MADDICK10]

11:46 AM on 05/17/2012

Boy, you got thst right!

[vinnie605]

04:05 PM on 05/06/2012

adultress...!!

[orcharo]

02:27 PM on 05/06/2012

I guess if you want to make an excuse to screw around, you can say "till death do I part" is a different deal now days! But, here is an idea, DON"T GET MARRIED!

[fruitystus]

02:23 PM on 05/06/2012

I think the quote above from the June 2007 issue of Redbook is the single most lucid comment I've ever read concerning marriage. And I agree that the game may have changed some with our longer lives. But, at least for me, living longer just makes remaining married to the same person more compelling. You may very well get a different response from my wife, but the longer my wife and I are married the more ("deeper"? . . . the words are clumsy here) I love her and appreciate knowing her and being known by her. To me, it feels like it's getting better. More profound and more important to me. It's not that we don't grow and change, but she and our relationship provide a constant that I'm not convinced could be duplicated. And hopefully she feels the same or finds something similarly compelling to her.

[Footnotes]

05:18 PM on 05/06/2012

Wow, what a guy and what a lucky lady your wife is to have someone who totally gets what it's all about ! Here's hoping that Debra and her husband each find future happiness.

[FeelsLikeFrance]

01:22 PM on 05/06/2012

Who cares about Debra Messing's opinion as to "whether a union can last"? Is she an expert on the subject now that she has notched her first divorce? With her attitude there will certainly be more divorces in her future.

[Stellah420]

12:20 PM on 05/06/2012

Will and Grace was by far. THE BEST show !!! i wish that it had never ended.!

[missyinSoCal]

12:17 PM on 05/06/2012

Why not wait until he's divorced to start dating him?

[Sidebar11]

01:59 PM on 05/07/2012

They started dating before their marriages officially ended. It's called an Affair

[idontcare761]

12:04 PM on 05/06/2012

It's amazing that people can walk away so easily , especially when they have children.

[philryanrpr]

12:13 PM on 05/06/2012

how pray tell do you know it has been easy for either of them? All she said is that both of them are at peace with their decision, not that it was an easy one, and they parted as friends.. THAT is more helpful for the children than staying together in a crumbling marriage and having the stupid notion that that is better for the child.

[idontcare761]

01:19 PM on 05/06/2012

Staying and working on a marriage , Before calling it quits is the Hard thing to do. Counseling to get to the root of the problem in an otherwise friendly relationship would be a good starting place. If you honestly can not get along married , then by all means , walk away. I would never say stay together if it were a less than peaceful homelife , especially for the sake of a child.

[Stellah420]

12:22 PM on 05/06/2012

womenn are strong. we are educated and independent. I would never belittle anyone
for divorcing. I my self. never divorced. however., I believe women today can manage very well.

[orcharo]

02:28 PM on 05/06/2012

Yes, they can, but if you go into a marriage and think you won't stick around till death do us part, why get married? Maybe it was excuse to buy a nice dress!

[MzHap1]

11:45 AM on 05/06/2012

20 years togethers or a decade.............knew each other 20 years and married for 10? Who cares anyway

[viper21]

11:31 AM on 05/06/2012

The big problem with marriages between successful individuals, as I see it, is that you have two huge egos that are competing with each other. Now, them having these huge egos is not the problem, they worked hard to hone their craft and they deserve to blow thier own horns now and then. The problem lies with the fact that there are no "checks and balances" in play here. Both egos are striving for recognition and there is no "grounding" influences here to keep those egos at a reasonable level. I am not saying that ths cannot work, as I am sure there many examples of this doing just that. I see the issue of a "traditional" type of meeting and courtship as being completely lost in thsi scenario. They meet on the set and then 6 weeks later they are married, wrong. Big problem there, but that is how it seems to go for these unfortunate souls.

[philryanrpr]

12:14 PM on 05/06/2012

er wait a minute..... since 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, underachievers are just as likely to get divorced as overachievers.

[happyone6470]

10:55 AM on 05/06/2012

She met her new boyfriend on the set . That sounds familiar .

[philryanrpr]

12:16 PM on 05/06/2012

Yeah, because people NEVER ever in the real world find romance at work.... Tone down the sneering self-righteous b/s and get real.

[emperance]

02:18 AM on 05/07/2012

Like happy isn't allowed to have an opinion, ON AN OPINION SITE.

[emperance]

02:18 AM on 05/07/2012

It's a set romance. It won't last, given the odds.

[MADDICK10]

11:49 AM on 05/17/2012

You're absolutely right!