Separated For 31 Years, Talei Berger And Cara MacKenzie Will Finally Spend Mother's Day Together

Shelby-Utica Patch Reports:

Thirty-one years later and half a world away, Talei Berger’s dream has come true.

She will spend Mother’s Day with her daughter.

“It’s a wonderful dream come true,” said Berger, a Shelby Township resident.

“Every Mother’s Day, I dreamed about it,” Berger said. “I can’t believe it’s happening. It’s quite overwhelming. The enormity of it—I just don’t think about it.”

The daughter, Cara MacKenzie, scoured the Internet from her home in New Zealand to track down Berger.

After conversations on Skype and meeting face-to-face in Hawaii last August, MacKenzie moved to Michigan last month to live with Berger.

On Sunday, they will spend Mother’s Day together for the first time.

“It’s hard to describe,” said the 31-year-old MacKenzie. “It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. … It’s just incredibly special. It’s such a blessing.

'I prayed every day'

Talei Berger gave birth to Cara MacKenzie on July 1, 1980, in Auckland, New Zealand.

“I had to give her up at 19,” said Berger, who grew up in Fiji and lived for much of her life in Australia. “My parents weren’t in the position to support the baby, and the father didn’t want anything to do with it.”

Cara was adopted by Judy Duncan and Brian MacKenzie, and she grew up in New Zealand knowing about her birth mother. Cara would tell her friends her mother was an angel.

Talei, though, knew few details. After giving birth, she returned to Australia.

“All I knew was that she was in New Zealand,” Berger said. “And I prayed every day.”

'We both felt very blessed.'

Time passed.

Talei would get married to Frank Berger. She would give birth to a son, Jared.

Talei and her family would move from Australia to Michigan in 2003. Her son would graduate from Eisenhower High School and enroll at Oakland University. She would work at PTI Engineered Plastics on 23 Mile Road.

Life moved on.

And then Cara found her.

“I decided I wanted to find her,” Cara said. “I had always known her and I had always known why she had given me up for adoption.”

Cara searched Facebook and Google until she found Talei’s sister, Michele, on Facebook last April. Michele, with whom Talei had stayed when she gave birth to Cara, connected the two.

Talei phoned Cara, who answered at midnight New Zealand time, and they talked for the first time.

“It was very emotional,” Cara said. “We both felt very blessed.”

After that, the two stayed in touch with conversations on Skype. Cara learned she had a half-brother, Jared, and Talei learned she had a grandson—Cara’s 11-year-old son, Ethan.

They had their first face-to-face meeting in August in Hawaii. Despite being apart for more than three decades, the connection was strong.

“When I got home, I missed her,” Cara said. “I wanted to get to know her more.”

So in April MacKenzie resigned as a school teacher in Auckland, took her son out of school and left behind her family and boyfriend to move to the United States to be with Berger.

'We’re just taking it one day at a time.'

With the support of her adopted parents and family in New Zealand, Cara arrived in the United States on April 17. She and Ethan met Talei in San Francisco, and they visited there before coming to Shelby Township on April 20.

They’ve gone to Greektown, and Frank has taken them to Comerica Park for a Tigers game (though it was rained out).

This summer, they plan to go to Shanty Creek in Northern Michigan and the Cherry Festival in Traverse CIty. They also want to travel to places such as New York and Las Vegas

They’ve gone shopping at Macy’s and taken walks at Stony Creek Metropark. Mostly, though, they have just spent time together, talking, hanging out and bonding as mother and daughter.

Cara said she could stay in Michigan three months, a year, indefinitely. Ethan has enrolled at Crissman Elementary School. Talei wants to teach Cara how to drive. (In New Zealand, automobiles drive on the left-hand side of the road.)

“We’re just taking it one day at a time,” Talei said. “There are no expectations.”

This weekend, they plan to take part in the Heart Walk at Ford Field in Detroit on Saturday. Then Cara and Jared, Talei’s two children, plan something special for their mother on Sunday.

“It will be a Mother’s Day like no other,” Berger said.

Read more stories from the Shelby-Utica Patch here.

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Comments

[kelly socal]

04:38 PM on 05/14/2012

Such a great and warm story! Too bad some loud mouths cost this kind of joy to many women(and men) by telling them that abortion is the way to go if you can't "afford" your child and that by aborting they prove that they are all so "responsible"?!?!
She got to hug her "unwanted child" 31 years later, what a joy!
My mother's aunt and her husband unfortunately had a different story. They were both in medical school when she got pregnant and decided or were pressured into aborting their child. After graduating they got married, became known doctors but she end up sterile (very common sign affect of abortions).
They ended up adopting a boy and since they were wealthy and he was the only child he grew up very spoiled. He end up gambling away all his parents wealth.
I'm glad that this woman made the best out of her situation. Her daughter looks just like her, how sweet!

[rewith85man]

02:14 PM on 05/14/2012

That's good.

[pattio66]

10:01 AM on 05/14/2012

How wonderful! My fiance was born to unwed highschoolers in 1963 and immediately adopted by the family who raised him. When in his thirties, he sought out his birth family...it turned out that his parents had married after high school and had five more children together. His birth mother and three adult sisters live only a couple of hours from us, his two adult brothers are in CA. His birth father, already divorced from his birth mother by the time he sought his roots, has chosen to not meet his oldest son...his loss, in my opinion. I adore both my future mothers-in-law and look forward to joining this very special family!

[deerinmw]

07:30 AM on 05/14/2012

For those of us who grew up with (and knowing) our biological families, its hard to imagine what its like not to know them. Most adopted children are loved and cherished but there is always a blank spot in their lives. Good adopted parents teach their children to love and feel immense gratitude to the biological mother for giving them a chance to have a child. When an adult adoptee choses to find his/her biological parent that isn't turning his/her back on the adoptive parents, its a need to solve a mystery - the who am I, who do I look like, who do I act like, why was I given up, what things in my family history do I need to know (i.e. medically)?

Love isn't an either/or situation. Love grows and expands. Having a loving relationship with a biological parent doesn't negate the love felt for the family that raised the adoptee. Smart and loving adoptive parents know that there is always enough love to go around and when their child feels complete and loved, everyone is happier. Love isn't transferred from one to the other - it expands to be all inclusive.

[pattio66]

10:02 AM on 05/14/2012

indeed, fanned for your insightful comment!

[Snmartinez]

02:19 AM on 05/14/2012

I've always wondered, why do adoptees search for their birth parents? If my parents were to tell me RIGHT NOW that I was adopted I wouldn't look for them. Of course I'll know how it feels to be adopted but why do they do it? I think it hurts the adoptive parents, kind of like saying "You weren't enough parent for me; Ineed to look for the real ones"

[pattio66]

10:11 AM on 05/14/2012

You're wrong - adoptees search for their birth parents for any number of reasons...getting clues about family medical history is a huge one. My father felt the same way you did about searching for his birth family, but all those in his adopted family who could have helped in a search are long gone now. His adoptive mother's last living sibling (who passed away a year ago now) gave him a photograph of a wedding. From the style of clothing it was in the 1920's, and the best man is the spitting image of my father in his 20's. Dad wasn't born until 1937. He'll go to his grave wondering who that man is and why he was in a photograph belonging to his adoptive family.

[garypeter]

05:06 PM on 05/13/2012

Very sweet, and rare, story and outcome.

[GoGrammie]

04:04 PM on 05/13/2012

What a lovely Mothers Day story. There is nothing like the bond between mothers and daughters. I wish you both the happiest mothers day ever. And thanks to Talei, Cara has 2 loving mothers. I applaud the courage Talei has shown in making sure her daughter had the best life possible. Now it's time for the 2 of them to get to know each other. I wish you all of the luck in the world.

[twoshoes3]

03:00 AM on 05/14/2012

AMEN!!!

[Gizmo9]

12:50 PM on 05/13/2012

One day she will realize that the parents who really loved her are her adoptive parents. Right now she is trying to fill some void she might had all her life about being given up for adoption. Once that void is filled she will be in a better position to realize who has been there for her all these years.

[twoshoes3]

12:54 AM on 05/14/2012

Unless you've been through this-please keep your comments to yourself. I would give my life for the daughter I gave up and found. She loves me and I her. Her adoptive parents are amazing and embrace me. I gave them a gift and they gave me one back-by raising a an intelligent, caring, compassionate woman that has made a difference in the world. A child can have many that that were always there for them.........................God works in mysterious ways. I suggest you stick to posts that you know something about instead of trying to destroy any hope for others out there. So sad you commented on Mother's Day

[Gizmo9]

07:28 AM on 05/14/2012

You are truly amazing as you know what I have been through by reading my comment on HP. I suggest that you need to stop taking HP comments personally as they were not directed at you. I know nothing about you yet you come out of the wood-works and aim your frustration at me. You need to work out your issues and stop blaming other people for your problems.

[ladyacenj]

02:22 AM on 05/13/2012

The thing that would bug me is that she ended up marrying and having another child and raised him. I would feel like, why did she keep him and not me? That alone would make me not want to meet her... I dont know why, thats just how I feel when I put myself her shoes.

[ladyacenj]

02:36 AM on 05/13/2012

And if I was the biological mother, I would feel guilty every time I looked at the child I kept. Not sure how I would handle this situation. Im sure its an emotional roller coaster for anyone who goes through this, so many unanswered questions. Sometimes you dream of meeting your biological parents/children all your life, and when you do its all exciting at first but then other emotions come in and its not as great as you imagined... Ive read stories about all sorts of adoption situations...

[capkirk1235]

04:10 AM on 05/14/2012

My mother had a daughter when she just turned 18 (in 1958)....I was born 7 1/2 years later...I look just like my half sister (except she has blonde hair and I have strawberry blonde)....our baby pics are nearly identical. It must have been so hard on my mother to give up a baby...then have another who looked just like the one she gave up! I ended up finding my sister 12 years ago. We are very close...she was adopted by a wonderful family whom I consider to be mine as well.

[capkirk1235]

04:16 AM on 05/14/2012

continued: my parents also adopted a son from another country...I didn't find out about my older sister until I was 19 years old....I was hurt at first..all my life I thought I was the oldest!...I use to always say that since I was the oldest I should be able to do this or that...lol. But I love my sister....I'm a grown ass adult and got over the hurt...I couldn't ever know what it was like to have to give my child up..and I know the situation our mother was in and my sister and all of us understand and knew it was the best decision my mother could make. Now we just have an extended family! My kids call her mother grandma too....it's what you make of it...we chose to make the best!

[kristiemaureen]

02:42 AM on 05/13/2012

Some adopted individuals do feel that way. Others, like me, don't. In fact, I never really thought about having biological siblings. When I reconnected with my biological mother, I found out I had 2 brothers (not the same father as me). All I could think was "thank goodness she had other children - the pressure is off me to be the perfect one". She had my brothers later on in her life, when she was in a different place and could make different choices. We've all been in situations where, given a different set of circumstances, we'd have made different choices. That doesn't make any of the choices right or wrong, just different. And it doesn't say anything about the person's feelings for children, placed for adoption or parented.

My bio mother, on the other hand, told me she was relieved after the birth of each of her sons that they weren't girls. She said she felt she didn't deserve to have another girl. That probably bothered me more - hearing that she had those feelings about herself when I think she made the most selfless decision a mother can ever make in placing me for adoption. That decision took strength and character far beyond her years at the time and for that I think she deserves nothing but good things the rest of her life.

[twoshoes3]

01:45 AM on 05/14/2012

Thank you Kristie-this brought a tear to my eyes. You understand and have given your biological mom the greatest gift ever-A VERY WISE woman who is compassionate and caring. No mother who has given up a child could ask for anything more. I know her feelings about having another girl-I felt I didn't deserve another child . When I was 25 (7 yrs. later) I had an emergency hysterectomy) and I thought God felt the same way. This article and posts have awakened so many emotions, but you know what-MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDDAUGHTER called me today-and I AM SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED and LOVED

[pattio66]

10:42 AM on 05/14/2012

omg between you and twoshoes3, I'm sobbing now. Just don't tell anyone, m'kay? I have a reputation as a bit of a hard@$$ to maintain...

[pslcitizen]

01:52 AM on 05/13/2012

What a beautiful reunion. A truly happy mother's day!

[bmitche]

12:54 AM on 05/13/2012

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

[PoppaG]

12:40 AM on 05/13/2012

Joe dirt

[Deb Tarry]

11:27 PM on 05/12/2012

Wow, so just kick adopted mom to the curb???? Who does she think raised and loved her. I find this VERY selfish on this daughters part. She yanks her son out of school with all of his friends...She could not wait until the summer time?? She is living with her mother....must be nice to sponge off her now since she thinks she owes her something. I feel really bad for the adopted mom...what a slap in the face to her. You could have met your mom in the summer, gone for a couple of months. But your adopted mom...you should have spent it with HER on Mothers Day...That is who put all the effort into raising you. OR had BOTH of the moms together. What an ungrateful woman.

[betty bills]

12:33 AM on 05/13/2012

Easy for mom to pick up the pieces now, the adopted parents took the time and love to raise her, seems like mom is going to get all the credit now, just waltz back into the picture after the "real" parents were with her through the years of sitting up at night when she may have been ill, put her through school, involved in her life all her life and her sons now its goodby mom and dad I am going to America to be with my family, glad she is happy but feel really bad for the real parents in New Zealand, I think they are both selfish

[lrmartin1211]

12:46 AM on 05/13/2012

I THINK if you read the article, the adoptive parents have told her about her real mother her entire life. They supported her decision to move to be near her biological mother. YOU PEOPLE are the ones who are hateful and selfish - because you do not agree with her position, you feel you have the right to judge.

[allie22]

02:23 AM on 05/13/2012

nothing in this story suggests she didnt have the blessing of her adoptive parents! newsflash- adoptive parents who do it RIGHT raise you to respect your birth mother, and are grateful to her for making them parents! that is surely how I was raised- my mom taught me that my birth was a gift and not to resent my birth mother, rather than being selfish- I am thankful for both my moms. obviously, Cara was raised by a generous and real set of people not selfish rude nasty people.
and FYI you ignorant cows- 'summer' in the Southern Hemisphere (where New Zealand is located) happens in December/January/February, so her son's school year there is never going to match up to the school year here. and also, Mother's Day in America is only happening in AMERICA! it's not a universal multinational holiday like Christmas!

[amd52]

01:11 AM on 05/13/2012

So, do i i was adopted and they are my mom and dad that is it they raised me loved fed me clothed me held me when i was sick etc. what she did is beyond selfish imo

[YakittyGirl]

01:23 AM on 05/13/2012

I'm with you. One day in junior high, one of my adopted kids was asked if he ever wanted to see his real mother. He told the kid that he would see his real mother when he got home from school.

[Tim Day]

11:26 PM on 05/12/2012

I was adopted as an infant, this was in 66' the records are still sealed, I have several medical issues they may be handed down to my 3 children, but can't get any help...I have posted on many web sites and even some pro's have helped to no avail....Don't get me wrong my adopted parent by all counts are "my parents" to me....But there is that curiousity of "Who" am I...where did I come from....Do they (bio-parents) ever think about me...are they still alive, do I have siblinings....So many questions ..and no answers....I'm glad this lady finally found her peace

[whdlsn]

12:00 AM on 05/13/2012

The normal reaction for most people would be yes, they do think about you. I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck!

[Tim Day]

12:09 AM on 05/13/2012

I would like to think thats true...but don't understand why they wouldn't go on the most popular web sites and at least see if I'm looking for them....I posted I don't want money, even a relationship if they don't want one with me...I would like to know medical things though...Birthdays are hard for me because of that...and my adopted parents have went to the ends of the earth trying to help me in my search

[amd52]

01:13 AM on 05/13/2012

Our adoptions were sealed but the biological parents had to tell adoptive parents of any ailments at the time of birth, and there own history as well.

[kristiemaureen]

02:29 AM on 05/13/2012

Depending on the age of the biological parents, they may not have known any family history regarding medical issues (think about how much you really knew at 17 about your family's medical history). A biological mother who had no contact with the biological father wouldn't necessarily know about his family medical history either.

What was said at the time wouldn't necessarily be the full story. An example: my own biological mother was diagnosed with Crohn's disease a few years after she had me. Years later two of her brothers were also diagnosed with the disease. That's not information that could have been made available to my adoptive family simply because my biological family didn't know it. However, that lack of knowledge definitely impacted me. As an adult I went through several years of testing for issues with no results. After reconnecting with my biological mother, I told my physician of her family medical history. While ultimately my issue was not Crohn's disease, rather a related one, I know my risk is higher and have routine screenings and take other precautions.

[frankc354]

11:20 PM on 05/12/2012

nice to hear a good feeling type of story for a change