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Bully Victim, Lynda Frederick's Poem Moves Classmates To Make Amends 25 Years Later

Posted: Updated: 05/18/2012 2:18 pm

By AP/The Huffington Post

ESCONDIDO, Calif. — A woman's poem about being bullied in a California school 25 years ago has brought her former classmates to tears. Now, they've created a scholarship fund in her name and raised $800 to fly her back to California for a class reunion.

Former classmates say they were reduced to tears after reading Lynda Frederick's poem, which she posted on the Orange Glen High School class of 1987's 25th reunion Facebook page.

"This poem touched me so bad I could not sleep…I cried," Frederick's classmate, Lisa Wallace, told NBC News.

In the poem, Frederick, now a mother of three who lives in Seneca Falls, N.Y., described how the bullying she endured as a teenager "shattered her childhood."

that little girl who came to school with the clothes she wore the day before

instead of asking why.. you picked on her

the little girl who had to walk to school while others rode the bus

instead of asking why.. you picked on her

the little girl who had bruises and was dirty

instead of asking why.. you picked on her

the little girl who was always crying

instead of asking why.. you picked on her

Classmate Kristi Malone told NBC News that she remembers how cruel the other kids were to Frederick.

"Looking at her being bullied horribly and thinking…I feel so bad for her," said Malone. "But never thinking in my head that I could stand up for her, and not once did anyone back her up."

Frederick's poem has been a wake up call for many of her classmates, Malone said.

"Just people in tears, like 'how could we have done this to her,'" she said. "[They] were just crying, saying 'Why did I do that?'"

Many of Frederick's classmates have since contacted her and apologized.

They have also raised money to fly her to Escondido, Calif., for the July class reunion and have set up a scholarship fund in her name.

"We are making a statement for all that bully anyone, it is not right and it feels bad on both ends," wrote Wendy Bergin Gotte on the high school reunion's Facebook page. "It just goes down the line and hurts everyone along the way."

Frederick said she forgives her old classmates and has accepted the invitation to return for the reunion.

"I said, Christ forgave me..and I forgive you," she said.

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LivelyLexie
Don't panic.
05:04 PM on 07/03/2012
I'm glad they asked for her forgiveness, and I hope she really can. I am NOT downplaying bullying, but the fact that it still haunts her this much after 25 years may mean she could use some therapy. I do not mean that sarcastically or rudely.
03:29 PM on 07/03/2012
Am I the only one annoyed they didn't post her whole poem?
09:00 AM on 03/30/2013
you can read it here:

http://loveneverending.com/?p=2054
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Alexandra Lawson
The cake is a lie.
02:48 AM on 05/23/2012
I wish my childhood bully had the maturity of these women. Unfortunately and sadly for her, she was a child bully who turned into an adult bully. I hope one day she finds this kind of strength and courage.
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Louis Calabro
06:30 PM on 05/25/2012
As a boy, sometimes older bigger boys punch our arms and it hurts bad. Vinnie Mini did that and when I got in 7th grade I got three buddies and lured Vinnie to the schooll basment where we jum ped him an bloodied his nose good. Hed said he would get us one at a time and we told him you get one and you get us all again. He never touched us again--and we graduated fromn 8th grade happy. The hell with authority--get you friends to help beat the hell out of the bully.
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Alexandra Lawson
The cake is a lie.
11:35 AM on 05/26/2012
I didn't even need friends to help. I beat the crap out of her and two of her lackeys at the same time. Even with three on one, her friends walked away with two black eyes and a bloody nose. And wouldn't you know it? The bullying stopped when word got out about what a "psycho" I was (I was instructed by my mom to go for the eyes and espophagus...which I did). When I was suspended from school the principal asked my mom why I hit back instead of walking away. "BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO," was her response. Mom rocks. From the gossip around my hometown my bully is now a stripper in Vegas. Sometimes living a good life really is the best revenge.
08:03 PM on 05/22/2012
This really touched my heart mainly because i know what this girl went through i too was picked on and bullied and my 15 yr old daughter had been tormented since 3rd grade it is sad how just because somone has little/no money they are not liked or if they do not look like everyone else they get picked on or they have a disability or anything wrong maby they are slow or whatever it just is not right or fair your story made me cry it is just amazing just how long it takes people to grow up you would think that by time 7th grade rolled around they would have machured just a bit but no i think you are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful heart people are cruel and it is not fair what a lovely poem ...
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TexasbyMigration
When in doubt, Google it!
04:43 PM on 05/22/2012
When I was younger, I was told that "boys tease you because they like you", as if it's some sort of compliment. I was very shy and withdrawn, and the attention that was drawn to me when it happened was the worst torture I could think of at the time. All these years later, I still cringe to think of it.
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LivelyLexie
Don't panic.
05:06 PM on 07/03/2012
Me, too. I had a boy tell me in middle school, "If you were a guy, I'd punch you in your face". For no reason. It didn't mean that he liked me, it meant that his parents did a terrible job raising him.
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TheShrew
“My tongue will tell the anger of my heart...
12:11 PM on 05/21/2012
Attending the reunion won't heal her pain all at once, but it's a very good beginning. Perhaps she will make a few friends along the way. One can only hope.

I wish her well as I do so many others who suffered because of the words and indifference from others.
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Claudette McCubbin
Seizing the moment as we speak...
09:45 AM on 05/21/2012
I won't go to my reunion. I prefer to delete that from my hard drive just like it never happened.
12:48 AM on 05/21/2012
i wont be going 2 my 10 year reunion that happens this year because i was bullied to the point of hospital stays sitching schools and home schooling. come 2 find out though i couple yrs after i finished school the girls picked on me because they were jelous of me. so treat me like crap, n ruin my teenage yrs nice job girls. sick thing is 2 yrs i went to that town and still got picked on by the same loosers that are unwed fat have all kinds of kids n do nothing with there lives... lol! makes ya feel good
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teacupsmommy
U2 Rocks!
06:39 PM on 05/20/2012
I hated grammar school for the very same reasons that this girl did. I ended up talking to two of my classmates and we are fine now. In fact they are some very nice people. There is one in particular I'd like to speak to though. I've tried to find him in New York but it's difficult to find him. Bullying causes a lot of pain both for the bullied and the person doing the bullying. I tend to think they are hurting in their own way too. Unfortunately for Joseph, he was so obnoxious, it's hard for me to care.
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Louis Calabro
06:34 PM on 05/25/2012
Those who are bullied should team up and "bully" the bully. It works.
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teacupsmommy
U2 Rocks!
07:05 PM on 05/25/2012
When I was in high school, I got bullied again by Janine Connors. Finally, I stood up to her and she never bothered me again. I loved high school, I found my voice.
10:39 AM on 05/20/2012
I had to deal with bullies at school, from kindergarten through college. Bullies in the neighborhood. Bullies at work. Bullies at church school (While learning about God's love for us???????????? maybe I was the only one paying attention). Etc. It wasn't just a few incidents here and there at school in the first grade. This was a CONSTANT thing. 24/7, 365. Some people can't seem to understand. The bullied person isn't the one that needs the therapy, the BULLIES and their parents that have their heads in the sand are.............
09:54 AM on 05/20/2012
It really isn't worth it to bully anyone. I'm just going to say this: EVERYONE has their own bully. The bully gets bullied in their own way. And when people get bullied, the only thing they feel they can do is take it like a soldier and hope it makes them stronger later or end up resorting to something negative like becoming a bully or worse: violent, armed revenge on the tormentors. But really, don't just think about what your bullying does to the person it hurts and how it can cripple them. Think about how bullying others only cripples yourself, especially later in life when you're stuck hanging around like-minded people. Sadly, I know some cruel people are actually taken by that idea.
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Louis Calabro
06:36 PM on 05/25/2012
Stand alone and get bullied. Stand togehter and "bully" the bully, It worked for me in 7th and 8th grade with bigger boys who were the bullies.
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Debbie Nap
08:43 AM on 05/20/2012
Sad to say but I noticed the same thing in adults as well, we set examples for our children..
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Dross Cool
09:14 AM on 05/20/2012
you have to teach your child how to stand up for him or herself , if not, these punk chump bullies will make their lives in school a living hell , otherwise grab the parents and put the fear in them
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Louis Calabro
06:38 PM on 05/25/2012
I disagree---get you kids to stand together with other kids who are being bullied---join forces and kick the s---t out of the bully after school.
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cafebeege
02:12 PM on 05/20/2012
Yes Debbie, there will always be "low class", crude, ill-mannered people. THAT'S why the ignorant call others "snobs". The REAL definition of snob is something like, "One who came from nothing who now thinks they have arrived."

People who have been brought up well and are educated treat others with graciousness (a word we never hear anymore because most don't even know what it means), RESPECT and kindness. Sadly in today's world you have to be reserved and careful, but never-the-less not stoop to the level of the ignorant. ie the "bully" (street, "bunker" mentality I call it)
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Louis Calabro
06:40 PM on 05/25/2012
Baloney, bullied kids need to stick together and kick the heck out of the bully as a group.

When Germany, Japan and Italy tried to rule the world, all the other countires joined forces and kicked the s--t out of those bullies.
07:56 AM on 05/20/2012
BCS
132 Fans Become a fan
6 hours ago ( 2:22 AM)
That might work for girls, but a guy bully?
I don't think so.
A poem won't move them to tears and have them apologize.
If they were that sensitive, they would not have bullied in the first place.
But I am glad for this woman-that it worked for her.
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jimjimbobbob
0 Fans
33 minutes ago ( 7:21 AM)
Guys just aren't brought up to display it that is all. But you can bet your *** that it may sink in with a lot of them. Today, women can be what ever they want, but a man still has to be a man. Unless people think he is homosexual and a lot of them are. Especially sports figures. Just another way of men to make contact with each other in the guise of doing "guy" things. 1 in 3 women are abused and 1 in 6 men are. Thus giving rise to all the addictions in our society. That "RAGE" your husband or boyfriend exhibits--HHMMM, think twice about it.....................
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hoodoomon80
you're unique , just like everyone else
07:50 AM on 05/20/2012
sad that it takes that many years for some to grow up & realize how ignorant they were....what's even more sad is that SOME NEVER DO GROW UP
07:48 AM on 05/20/2012
Kids become bullies until some one punches them in the snot box, I was bullyed by kids in middle school because my Dad was white, and my Mother is Hispanic. One thing I learned at a very young age was: Bullys are cowards! They pick on other kids that won't fight back. The best thing you can to a bully is fight back. I know in the schools today, fighting is looked down apon, but sometime you have to fight. How come you never see bullys after high school? Because in the real world, bullys get married and beat their wives and kids, and their kids become bullys. This is one thing I learned in the Marines about bullys...Boys in high school hurt each other, Men in real life kill each other. There is no room in real life for bullys, because they know how it will end up.
08:22 AM on 05/20/2012
Well said. Thank you for your service to our country. And ssshhhhhh (i'm not even a Republican..You know, Democrats and Independents can be Patriotic too.)
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Karen StovallStringer
Legerdemain with a 24k pyrite-plated, shiny object
02:56 PM on 05/20/2012
Ditto from me. I do not belong to any party. I've always voted for the person across party lines. I was afraid to vote Republican. My mother thought I was a piano player in a house of ill repute.
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psychedelicspell
One Tin Soldier
08:51 AM on 05/20/2012
My dad is a little league of nations and my mother was Hispanic & Italian. Your so right bullies are cowards. They are scared little souls that do not know how to react expect with rage. Boys get bullied to. Try to stand up as a youth, you get beat down. But some of us just get up again. Because we really do not want that to happen to another soul. You see bullies decades later and your right they abuse partners kids the cycle has not been broken on their end. Bullies it is all about control, because they confused control for power. Not compassion not honor.
Thank you for protecting us with your service in the Marines. You really are among the best of the best on so many levels.