By Ryan Yoder, Awful Announcing
Craig James's ill-fated political career is literally a horse that has been beaten to death. Thankfully, for those who take pride in democracy at work, another well-qualifed candidate from the world of sports wants to try his hand at politics.
And that man is... Jose Canseco?!
Well, it's true that Craig James has set the bar pretty low for athletes turned political hopefuls. But after looking at the following spree of Twitter activity, it's clear Canseco is already starting on his retail politicking. Let's look at Jose's grass roots, social media campaign already in action!
Well, I guess that's the first important question that has to be answered, isn't it? Yes Jose, as long as you are an American citizen, you can run for mayor or govenor, just not president. I wouldn't recommend letting Donald Trump know you were born in Cuba though, that might cause you some problems.
Ah yes, now the Canseco campaign has a vision! Just think if all of our politicians were only "here to help" and wanted to focus on doing "good for all the people." The most shocking thing though is that there are no grammatical errors in this tweet from Jose, which may be a first.
Wow, Jose is getting specific right off the bat. Apparently Andover does have a higher property tax rate than any of the surrounding towns, so that's a good place to start. Although, Jose's second proposal on "streetlites" is a little less clear. Hopefully Jose hires a spokesperson soon that can help him articulate his message a little more clearly.
Thank God! One of those corrupt politicians is finally going to allow me to turn right on red in Danvers! The power outage and "hispeed" internet are small potatoes compared to big problems like turning right on red.
Thank you Jose. Your inspirational cry for attention makes me want to run for office, too. Let's hope your 15 minutes of fame from irrational, unbalanced, and uninformed Tweeting doesn't end faster than a Charlie Sheen bender and you do end up becoming mayor of a small Northeastern town. Just be careful if Curt Schilling asks you for money.