Here's the plan: We go to court for our towed car and we demand... $500 BILLION!
Michelle Mathis is no Dr. Evil, but she is hell-bent on compensation for her car, which was towed in Ohio while she was in the hospital and apparently never returned, according to TheNewspaper.com.
Mathis is demanding a whopping total of $520 billion in damages from the Columbus Department of Public Safety's Impound Unit, according to court documents obtained by the blog.
The hubbub began in January, when Mathis got into a car accident and went to the hospital. She was in the hospital until February, and her car was towed in the process. When she asked the impound unit about her 2002 Saturn, officials wouldn't give her any information, she alleged.
Now she thinks that the impound unit got rid of her car, and that it was thrown away because impounders simply didn't like her.
"It is Plaintiff's belief that Defendant has since disposed of
her vehicle," federal magistrate Judge Elizabeth Deavers said in the document dated June 4. "Plaintiff further believes that Defendant has acted intentionally, because of her past experiences with the Impound Unit."
Naturally, the judge thinks the $500 billion number is a little steep and wants the claim dismissed. She says that Mathis didn't even ask about why her car was towed -- she just wanted the money.
"In this case, the undersigned finds that Plaintiff fails to state a facially plausible federal
claim," she said. "Plaintiff first attempts to a bring claim under the Fourth Amendment for unlawful seizure. From the facts Plaintiff pleads, however, it appears that the seizure of her vehicle was proper."
The outcome of the hearing is not yet clear.
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