In the spirit of Liz Lemon, who admonishes against "sexually transmitted crazy mouth" and other harrowing dating dealbreakers, we've compiled a list of red flags for your courting adventures here in New York City.
Sure, New York is a big place filled with lovely, interesting, beautiful people. But sometimes, our dating ecosystem is polluted by some serious disappointment.
Although we advocate giving everyone a solid chance (because hey! you never know), we don't want anyone wasting their time. Therefore, if you bear witness to any of the following, promptly remove yourself from the date.
And not to worry if you're one of those sorry individuals who find themselves suggesting said red flags. We're not here to offend you (maybe spin dates are fun?). But perhaps now's your chance to follow in George Constanza's footsteps, and just do the opposite (see what we mean below).
George Constanza's The Opposite: