It's Monday and we're back in the office. Oh, joy.
Since the dawn of time, working stiffs have been annoyed by the same basic things day-in and day-out: the awkward and annoying conversations, the technology that never quite works, hearing everyone weigh in on every single item in the news. Of course, it's better to have a job than not, but it doesn't make these daily annoyances any less grating.
So here's a quick salute to those topics of conversation and events which almost everyone would prefer to avoid this week. What are you not looking forward to this week?
Realizing The New 'Spider-Man' Movie Is Actually Good
The reboot of a franchise that's only 10 years old <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/21/9-things-were-not-looking_n_1534166.html#slide=1003578" target="_hplink">gave us a case of the UGHs</a> at first, but it's <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/04/amazing-spider-man-opening-day-box-office_n_1649138.html" target="_hplink">killing</a> at the box office and is actually pretty good. Double ugh.
Speculations As To What Katie Got In The Divorce
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/29/tomkat-split-tweets_n_1638334.html" target="_hplink">At first it was fun</a> to speculate about the splitting of Hollywood's most baffling couple, but <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/tom-cruise-katie-holmes-divorce-settlement_n_1659293.html" target="_hplink">this is when it stops being amusing</a> and starts being sad.
Jokes About Kourtney Kardashian's New Baby's Name
Normally almost any punchline including a Kardashian is fine by us, but the fact Kourtney named her daughter <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/kourtney-kardashian-gives-birth_n_1658310.html" target="_hplink">Penelope Scotland</a> just isn't that LOL-worthy. Let's at least wait until the baby grows up and starts acting like a Kardashian before we give her the same treatment.
Call From Mom About The New 'Today' Host
"Yes, mom, she's really great. Yes, I like the name <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/savannah-guthrie-today-co-host_n_1658490.html" target="_hplink">Savannah</a> too. No, I've never been to Georgia. Where is this going?"
Listening To People Say Barbecue When They Mean Grilling
Throwing some hot dogs and burgers on the grill isn't barbecue, but it is delicious. <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/southern-food/bbq-v-grilling-whats-the-difference-2495209.html" target="_hplink">Learn the difference</a>!
That One Person Who Has To Correct People Who Say Barbecue When They Mean Grilling
Seriously, who is this jerk?
News Stories About The Heat Wave And Our Impending Doom
Pretty soon <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/09/us/extreme-heat/index.html" target="_hplink">these headlines</a> are just going to read: 'Global Warming Happening, Say 7 Billion Sweaty People Unanimously'
Considering The Concept Of An 'iPad Mini'
No, it's not an alternate name for an iPhone. The <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/06/iphone-5-ipad-mini-release-date-ipad-4-apple-rumors_n_1654712.html" target="_hplink">iPad Mini</a> is something we just heard might actually be produced, leading us to believe that Apple is getting its marketing ideas from "Golidlocks & The Three Bears."
Realizing There Are No More Work Holidays Until Labor Day
This also means that summer is just about half over. BUMMER y'all.