Want to feel like a million bucks while you're vacuuming your house? Well, you're in luck!
Just Haver, VP of sales and marketing for Go Vacuum -- an online retailer of vacuum cleaners that has been around since 1996 -- has manufactured a set of 100 24-carat gold-plated vacuum cleaners, each with a price tag of $1 million.
If you think paying a million dollars for a vacuum cleaner is ridiculous, just wait 'till you hear how Haver came up with the idea for the million dollar cleaning tool. According to Gizmodo.com, Haver conceived of the idea for a million dollar, gold-plated vacuum while shuffling to his bathroom, his half-asleep eyes blinded by a golden light. (We're serious!).
Making matters worse, the expensive vacuum cleaner is being promoted with an equally ridiculous rap song that goes something like this: "Go Vacuum's $1 million dollar/is gonna make you holler/forget the other vacuums man/don't even bother/clean up your house in golden style/do you follow? Only 100 available/ they may be gone tomorrow." (YIKES!).
It took him about six months to manufacture them, but now Haver has 100 vacuum cleaners, each priced at $1 million. "The status and exclusivity of owning a vacuum like this can't be measured in dollar and cents," says Haver, whose $1 million dollar vacuum cleaners come equipped with a 10 amp motor, a 14-inch wide cleaning nozzle, and anti-marring urethane wheels.
But considering that you can pay $60 bucks for another person to clean your house, and that you can get a vacuum cleaner for as low as $21.00 on Amazon.com, Haver's million dollar dust-suckers might be a hard sell.
But what do you think? Does Haver's idea suck? What's the most you'd pay for a vacuum cleaner?
WORST GADGETS FROM THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW 2012
The iNuke Boom, A 700+ Pound, $30,000 iPod Dock
Why? Anyone? Why? Where are you throwing a party that you need this, the core of the earth? Behringer dubbed its 700-plus pound iPod dock (that little speck at the top of the humongous giant box is an iPhone) the iNuke Boom, and if there is such a device that can induce a bowel movement, I suppose this is it. At $29,999.00, the iNuke Boom is conveniently priced for you to choose between one semester of college and an unwieldy, totally impractical iPod dock that may or may not kill you and everyone you love when operated. Stay in school, kids.
An iPhone Case That Matches Your Jimmy Choos
The <a href="https://www.cellairis.com/" target="_hplink">Cellairis</a> booth had several glammed-out, sparkly iPhone cases paired with -- omigod! -- SHOES! I readily admit that I am not the target market for this particular case, nor do I imagine ever dropping benjamins on a holster for my iPhone. You'll notice that the golden case here rather violently reflected the flash from my camera, which I like to think happened because the entire idea is so blindingly stupid.
An Exercise Machine That Jiggles Your Fat Around
This one's a Japanese import from a company called Fujiiryoki. Apparently if you stand on this vibrating thing for long enough each day, it will shake the fat right off your posterior and belly, transforming the user into a lean, mean, tremor-prone machine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go put on some exercise clothes, attach some handlebars to my washing machine, and surf that baby to the six-pack of my dreams.
The Robot Air Purifier
Finally, an air purifier that can follow me around and cleanse the stench of my farts as I walk.
Fujitsu Arrows Waterproof Tablet
You know, I was thinking about buying an iPad, but then I wondered: "Will I be able to take this thing with me into my bubble baths? If I accidentally leave my iPad outside and it starts to rain, will it come out unscathed? What if I become upset with my tablet, and throw it into the ocean -- when it washes ashore, will I still be able to play Fruit Ninja?" Turns out the answer to all of those questions was No! So I'm getting the Fujitsu Arrows tab instead. This thing doesn't look like it's coming to the U.S., but I hope it does -- my Kindle Fire didn't even survive falling into the toilet <em>once</em>!
Sigma 200-500mm Camera Lens
For when you want to snap sexy photos of your neighbor through their window, but your neighbor lives eight blocks away. Good news, creepers-on-a-budget: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sigma-200-500mm-Ultra-Telephoto-Canon-Cameras/dp/B0013D8VDQ" target="_hplink">Amazon has it</a> for just $25,999.00!
CASIO's Relief Painting Technology
You know, I always used to look at Hokusai's classic 19th century woodblock print "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" and think, "Man, you know what this iconic masterpiece of world art needs? Eerily raised texture lines and a neon pink cathode ray frame." Nailed it, Casio.
I don't know what's most revolting: The hypnotic spinning of raw meat, the period clicking of cow bone against dirty plastic, or the fact that Vince of Sham-Wow fame will almost certainly be screaming about this thing on 3AM infomercials in about two months. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4DMPmoJkJQ" target="_hplink">Bonus Arrested Development reference</a>: "I'm Mr. Marinator!" "Well, Marinator, we'd just say Marinator."
Sun Visor With Video Screen
Did you want to check your teeth for spinach in the sun visor before heading into the big party? <em>TOO BAD, BRO, YOU'RE WATCHING HAPPY FEET</em>!