What's the difference between the average person talking crazy about his wife and John Travolta talking crazy about his wife?

Depending on what each said, they both might be sleeping on the couch that night, but Travolta's quip will be recorded, written down, and repeated for years to come.

Celebrities might give some bad marriage advice, but sometimes it's ridiculously funny. Click through the slideshow below to see the craziest things celebs have said about marriage.

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  • Les Dawson

    <a href="http://thinkexist.com/quotation/my_wife_is_a_sex_object-every_time_i_ask_for_sex/214697.html" target="_hplink">"My wife is a sex object -- every time I ask for sex, she objects."</a>

  • Woody Allen

    <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/1434" target="_hplink">"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."</a>

  • Agatha Christie

    <a href="http://quotationsbook.com/quote/1458/" target="_hplink">"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."</a>

  • John Travolta

    <a href="http://voices.yahoo.com/quotable-quotes-celebrities-love-marriage-3078188.html" target="_hplink">"I'm an old fashioned romantic. I believe in love and marriage... but not necessarily with the same person." </a>

  • Robert Mitchum

    <a href="http://voices.yahoo.com/quotable-quotes-celebrities-love-marriage-3078188.html" target="_hplink">"I took one look at her and said, 'This is it. I'll be back for you. Stick with me kid and you'll be farting through silk." (Speaking about his wife, Dorothy)</a>

  • Mickey Rooney

    <a href="http://voices.yahoo.com/quotable-quotes-celebrities-love-marriage-3078188.html" target="_hplink">"It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children that I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas." </a>

  • Zsa Zsa Gabor

    <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201001/darling-should-i-get-romantically-involved-other-women" target="_hplink">"I know nothing about sex because I was always married. "</a>

  • Burt Reynolds

    <a href="http://thinkexist.com/quotation/marriage_is_about_the_most_expensive_way_for_the/186934.html" target="_hplink">"Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done. "</a>

  • Minnie Pearl

    <a href="http://suburbangrandma.com/culture/twelve-rules-for-a-happy-marriage/" target="_hplink">"Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot."</a>

  • Beyonce

    <a href="http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beyonceknowles/daddy.html" target="_hplink">"I want my husband to be like my daddy." (From her song "Daddy"</a>)

  • Oscar Wilde

    <a href="http://www.successories.com/iquote/author/2945/source-unknown-quotes/71" target="_hplink">"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." </a>

  • Gabriel Garcia Marquez

    <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/gabriel_garcia_marquez.html" target="_hplink">"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast."</a>

  • Gloria Steinem

    "Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for <a href="http://www.poemhunter.com/quotations/famous.asp?people=Gloria Steinem" target="_hplink">gambling is satisfied by marriage." </a>

  • Rita Rudner

    <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/79357.Rita_Rudner" target="_hplink">"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." </a>

  • LeAnn Rimes

    <a href="http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-04-01/leann-rimes-marriage-advice-argue-naked/" target="_hplink">"A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I'm gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens." </a>

  • Drew Barrymore

    <a href="http://www.successories.com/iquote/category/45/marriage-quotes/33" target="_hplink">"Sometimes I bust out and do things so permanent. Like tattoos and marriage." </a>

  • Catherine Zeta-Jones

    <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001876/bio" target="_hplink">"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have their own bathroom!"</a>

  • Rodney Dangerfield

    <a href="http://www.successories.com/iquote/category/128/american-comedian-quotes/62" target="_hplink">"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." </a>