07/26/2012 02:50 pm ET | Updated Jul 26, 2012

Onion News Network Laments Boring Election That's Nowhere Near Over (VIDEO)

The stakes of this election might be incredibly high, but you wouldn't know it by the national level of enthusiasm surrounding it. When you have an incumbent who has admitted he failed to inspire the country and a challenger whose entire schtick is his utter lack of excitable qualities, it's hard to care about anything they say or do.

And as usual, The Onion nails that mood with a new Onion News Network report on the uphill battle faced by political reporters in presenting the news as anything other than mind-numbingly tedious.

"Wow, just look at these two! Shaking hands, talking, shaking more hands," says anchor Andrea Bennett over B-roll of the two candidates on the campaign trail.

Added analyst Jason Copeland, the race is "a slow-moving roller coaster indeed -- one with a few slight dips and turns in the beginning, perhaps, and then a thrilling, action-packed, slow-paced ride to the finish in November."

The sooner the election finishes, the better. Only then can we move on to more important subjects, like paint's transformation from a wet substance into a drier one.