The upcoming Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne is shaping up to be quite the ladies' night, with Jane Lynch already announced as Roastmaster and a slew of talented women on the dais.
Entertainment Weekly has learned that legendary actresses Sharon Stone and Carrie Fisher, as well as Katey "Peg Bundy" Sagal will be among those roasting Roseanne at the taping in Los Angeles this week.
EW.com also reports that Seth Green, as well as roast staples Jeffrey Ross and Anthony Jeselnik and last year's breakout comedian of the Charlie Sheen Roast, Amy Schumer, will be there ready to mock Roseanne.
Unfortunately, Tom Arnold is not expected to come.
Also noticeably missing from the dais is three-time Roastmaster Seth MacFarlane. Instead, "Glee" star Jane Lynch will head up the night's debauchery as the third female Roastmaster in Comedy Central history.
"I've long fantasized of ripping Roseanne Barr a new one. But because I don't have the cajones to say anything offensive to her face, I will be hosting the proceedings," said Lynch in a press release.
The Roaseanne Roast tapes this Saturday, August 4, and will premiere on Comedy Central the following weekend. More roasters are expected to be officially announced in the coming days, so look out for updates.
"Charlie, you claim to have 'tiger blood,' but after all the porn stars you've [had sex with], it's probably Tiger Wood's blood." <br><br> -Seth MacFarlane
"You're just like Bruce Willis -- you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher." <br><br> -Amy Schumer
"I know another guy who was kind to whores and he got crucified by Jews too and people worshipped that guy." <br><br> -William Shatner
"The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns -- don't you want to live to see their first 12 steps?"<br><br> -Jeffrey Ross
"Charlie still hasn't hit rock bottom. He's looking forward to it though, because he thinks there's a rock there." <br><br> - Steve-O
Mike Tyson's un-quotable roast consisted of calling Sheen a "wife beating coke head," and labeling his ex-wife Denise Richards a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/12/denise-richards-charlie-sheen-roast-c-word_n_958488.html" target="_hplink">c*nt</a>.
"You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony's kid." <br><Br> -Anthony Jeselnik
"It's amazing, after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you've had removed is your kids." <br><br> -Kate Walsh
"How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men." <br><br> -Jon Lovitz
"Once again, I come out unscathed. You can't hurt me. I can't kill me ... Did you really think your little jokes were going to hurt me? I did porn stars. I did drugs. Then I did the one thing everybody in America wishes he could do. I told my boss to f*ck off. And then it was gone. ... I'm done with 'the winning' because I've already won."<br><br> -Charlie Sheen