Ryan Lochte, America's latest golden boy swimmer/imaginary boyfriend/Vogue cover model/verbally-challenged bro, has been getting a lot of attention during the London Olympics. After all, he won a gold medal, and he's pretty pretty. Turns out 27-year-old Lochte also has his fair share of opinions on women, romance and sex. Here are seven of them:

1. The best way to pick up a woman is to wink at her.
Lochte shared his very specific woman-wooing strategy in Women's Health's July/August issue. "[I] make eye contact. Some guys keep staring, but I'll give a wink and come back later, because it keeps her thinking," said Lochte.
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(Photo Credit: AP)


2. Women are evil -- but being loved by one is still a worthy goal.
In an interview with ESPN, Lochte revealed some bitterness toward the opposite sex. "Is there decent girl out there who doesn't lie?" he asked. "They all lie. They're all evil. I just want to meet someone who is real, who is honest ... who wants to love me as a person." Note to Ryan: Calling women "evil" usually isn't a good way to get them to like you.
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(Photo Credit: Annie Leibovitz/Vogue)


3. Women are second-hottest when they wear white pants.
Lochte apparently has an affinity for women who are extremely neat eaters. But he likes ladies in his button-downs even more than inappropriate-after-Labor-Day jeans.
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(Photo Credit: Getty)


4. "One-night stands" are best.
Lochte's mom, Ike, told TODAY.com that her son was just too busy for a steady GF. Instead, the boy prefers to get around. "He goes out on one-night stands," she said. "He's not able to give fully to a relationship because he's always on the go." Question: Did Lochte tell his mom it was totally cool to discuss his sex life on national TV?
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(Photo Credit: Getty)


5. What women want is a mystery.
If Lochte could have one superpower, he'd just want to emulate Mel Gibson in "What Women Want." He gets a bit confused by the ladies because, as he told Women's Health, "It's impossible to know what they're thinking."
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(Photo Credit: AP)


6. Being an absentee father is a no-no.
Lochte may not have a serious girlfriend or be anyone's baby daddy just yet, but he is afraid of being a bad father. "I just have this fear of not being there to be a part of my child's life. And I don't want to miss anything," he told ESPN.com.
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(Photo Credit: AP)


7. "The Notebook" is REALLY emotional.
Lochte's brother Devon told ESPN.com that Ryan suggested they watch "The Notebook" during a bro movie night. And Ryan, being the softy that he is, shed some tears watching The Gos woo Rachel McAdams.
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(Photo Credit: AP)


So as the above quotes illustrate and our friends at BuzzFeed Shift pointed out earlier this week, Lochte may be many things, but a gifted orator he's not. Check out their lol-worthy mashup of Lochte's best-worst interview moments and be glad your Olympic boyfriend still has a few years to improve his eloquence:

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  • Victory Dance

    Germany's Kristof Wilke celebrates after his team won the men's rowing eight final in Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

  • Goal Shot

    France's Nina Kamto Njitam, center, shoots as Sweden's Johanna Wiberg, left, and Jamina Roberts, right, watch during their women's handball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

  • Blocked

    Mohammed Arjaoui of Morocco competes against Blaise Yepmou Mendouo of Cameroon, left, during their men's superheavy over 91-kg boxing match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Ivan Sekretarev)

  • Bronze Medal Win

    lias Iliadis, of Greece, reacts during his bronze medal match against Tiago Camilo of Brazil, at the men's 90-kg judo competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

  • Medal Ceremony

    South Korea's Kim Jangmi reacts after firing her final shots and realizing she has won gold in the women's 25-meter pistol event, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Rebecca Blackwell)

  • Smiles Of Victory

    Great Britain's Heather Stanning, left, and Helen Glover celebrate after winning the gold medal for the women's rowing pair in Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Eric Feferberg, Pool)

  • No Pushing

    France's Camille Ayglon, left, is challenged by Sweden's Linnea Torstensson, right, during their women's handball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

  • Leaping For The Ball

    Brazil's Neymar, right, vies for the ball with New Zealand's Tim Payne, left, during the group C men's soccer match at St James' Park in Newcastle, England, during the London 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Scott Heppell)

  • In Sync

    Silver Medalists Ilya Zakharov, bottom, and Evgeny Kuznetsov, top, from Russia compete during the Men's Synchronized 3 Meter Springboard Diving final at the Aquatics Centre in the Olympic Park during the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)

  • Catching Some Wind

    JP Tobin of New Zealand sails on RS:X windsurfer during the race 3 at the London 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in Weymouth and Portland, England. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)

  • Well It's Not Gold, But...

    Vavrinec Hradilek of the Czech Republic celebrates after finishing his run in the final of the K-1 men's kayak slalom at Lee Valley Whitewater Center, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in Waltham Cross near London. Vavrinec Hradilek won the silver medal. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

  • Eye On The Birdie

    Thailand's Ratchanok Intanon plays against Germany's Juliane Schenk, unseen, at a women's singles badminton match of the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Saurabh Das)

  • Rowing To Victory

    Ukraine's Kateryna Tarasenko, from right, Nataliya Dovgodko, Anastasiia Kozhenkova and Yana Dementieva react after winning the gold medal in the women's quadruple sculls rowing event at the 2012 London Summer Olympics, at Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, on Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Eric Feferberg, Pool)

  • Gaining Speed

    Norway's Edvald Boasson Hagen competes in the men's individual time trial cycling event at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

  • Approaching The Finish Line

    Britain's Christopher Froome approaches the finish line to win the bronze in the men's individual time trial cycling event at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)

  • Preparing To Lift

    Armenia's Meline Daluzyan competes during the women's 69-kg weightlifting competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Ben Curtis)

  • It's Good!

    France's Siraba Dembele, left, scores past Sweden's goalkeeper Gabriella Kain, right, during their women's handball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

  • Perfect Set

    Czech Republic's Hana Klapalova sets the ball during a beach volleyball match against Brazil's Larissa Franca and Juliana Silva at the 2012 Summer Olympics, London, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

  • Winning Reaction

    Edith Bosch of Netherlands, reacts to defeating Hwang Ye-Sui of South Korea, during a bronze medal match during the women's 70-kg judo competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

  • Fully Extended

    Maryna Shkermankova of Belarus competes during the women's 69-kg, group A, weightlifting competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Hassan Ammar)

  • Tuck And Dive

    Aschwin Wildeboer Faber of Spain competes in a men's 200-meter backstrokeat the Aquatics Centre in the Olympic Park during the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)

  • An Intense Round

    Russia's Sergey Vodopiyanov, left, fights Brazil's Robenilson Vieira de Jesus, during their men's bantam 56-kg boxing match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Ivan Sekretarev)

  • Yep, That's Gold

    Gold medalist Italy's Daniele Molmenti reacts on the podium of the men's K-1 kayak slalom at the Lee Valley White Water Center at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in Waltham Cross, near London. (AP Photo/Victor R. Caivano)

  • China Serving China

    China's Li Xiaoxia serves to China's Ding Ning in the gold medal round of women's table tennis at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

  • Landed

    Russia's Magomed Omarov, right, fights United States' Dominic Breazeale during a super heavyweight over 91-kg preliminary boxing match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

  • Saved

    Taiwan's Cheng Shao-chieh plays against Singapore's Juan Gu, unseen, at a women's singles badminton match of the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Saurabh Das)

  • Need For Speed

    Canada's Clara Hughes competes in the women's cycling individual time trial at the 2012 Summer Olympics, on Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Stefano Rellandini, Pool)

  • Trailing Close Behind

    India's Sandeep Singh controls the ball against New Zealand during their men's hockey preliminary round match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Eranga Jayawardena)

  • GOAL!

    New Zealand's Nicholas Wilson, center, celebrates a goal against India during their men's hockey preliminary round match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Eranga Jayawardena)

  • Thankful Winner

    Yuri Alvear, of Colombia, reacts after defeating Chen Fei of China, to win the bronze medal during the women's 70-kg judo competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

  • Diving For The Ball

    Brazil's Larissa Franca, center, dives for the ball as Juliana Silva looks on during a beach volleyball match against Czech Republic's Hana Klapalova and Lenka Hajeckova at the 2012 Summer Olympics, London, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

  • On The Return

    Lleyton Hewitt of Australia returns to Novak Djokovic of Serbia at the All England Lawn Tennis Club in Wimbledon, London at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

  • Deep Concentration

    Japan's Seiya Kishikawa watches the serve of China's Wang Hao during a quarterfinals men's table tennis match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Sergei Grits)

  • Belgium's Celebration

    Belgium's Jerome Dekeyser, right, celebrates his goal against The Netherlands in the men's hockey preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. The Netherlands' won 3-1. (AP Photo/Eranga Jayawardena)

  • On The Water

    Dorian van Rijsselberge, from Netherlands, practices before starting the rs:x men class race at the London 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in Weymouth and Portland, England. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)

  • Going For The Steal

    New Zealand's Ryan Archibald, right, and India's Manpreet Singh vie for the ball during their men's hockey preliminary round match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Eranga Jayawardena)

  • Ready For The Spike

    Serbia's Stefana Veljkovic (11) goes up for the smash against Turkey during a women's volleyball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara)

  • Put Your Back Into

    Finland's Lauri Lehtinen and Kalle Bask practice before starting the 49er class race at the London 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in Weymouth and Portland, England. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)

  • Forehand

    China's Li Xuerui plays against Taiwan's Tai Tzu-ying at a women's singles badminton match of the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Saurabh Das)

  • Taking It To The Hole

    Brazil's Erika Souza looks to the basket on a drive to the hoop against Australia's Belinda Snell, left, during a women's basketball game at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

  • Missed The Ball

    Evgeniia Khokhriakova of Russia is unable to block a shot by Giulia Rambaldi, bottom left, of Italy during a preliminary women's water polo match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

  • Silver Is Pretty Great

    Canada's coxswain Brian Price, right, celebrates with teammates after winning the silver medal for the men's rowing eight in Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Armando Franca)

  • Jump Shot

    China's forward Ma Zengyu, center, vies for the ball with Angola's forward Ana Goncalves, left, during their women's preliminary round group A basketball match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, on Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Mark Ralston, Pool)

  • Winning Reaction

    Great Britain's Heather Stanning and Helen Glover celebrate after winning the gold medal for the women's rowing pair in Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

  • Ready To Block

    Turkey's Gozde Sonsirma (10) comes up with a block on a shot by Serbia's Jovana Brakocevic (2) during a women's volleyball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara)

  • Sabre Fight

    The United States' Dagmara Wozniak, left, competes with Tunisia's Azza Besbes in the women's individual sabre fencing competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London.(AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

  • Time To Celebrate

    Serbia's Ivana Djerisilo (3) celebrates a point against Turkey during a women's volleyball preliminary match at the 2012 Summer Olympics Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara)

  • Nothing But Net

    Goalkeeper Edina Gangl, center, of Hungary makes a save on a shot by Sun Yating, right, of China during a preliminary women's water polo match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. Hungary won 11-10. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

  • This Is What Victory Looks Like

    Ukraine's Yana Dementieva, foreground, Anastasiia Kozhenkova, Nataliya Dovgodko, and Kateryna Tarasenko celebrate after winning the women's rowing quadruple sculls final in Eton Dorney, near Windsor, England, at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012. (AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko, Pool)

  • Narrowly Missed

    Russia's Sergey Vodopiyanov, right, fights Brazil's Robenilson Vieira de Jesus, during their men's bantam 56-kg boxing match at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Ivan Sekretarev)

  • Tears Of Joy

    Kirstin Thiele of Germany, reacts after winning her match against Chen Fei of China, during the women's 57-kg judo competition at the 2012 Summer Olympics, Wednesday, Aug. 1, 2012, in London. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)