Huffpost Comedy

Paul Ryan's Abs Must Be Disclosed To American Public (VIDEO)

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Just how sexy is GOP VP pick Paul Ryan? Too sexy to disclose to the public, apparently.

With calls for greater government transparency growing louder, why hasn’t Paul Ryan released even one topless photo? Rumors are swirling about Ryan’s six-pack abs and daily 6 a.m. workouts in the Capitol gym, but documents confirming the freshly minted VP pick’s ripped physique have eluded the American public.

What is Ryan hiding? How can we be sure of his true body fat percentage? 10%? 5%? Even 0%? We don’t know, because Ryan won’t show us the goods. Releasing this information is standard practice for anyone a heartbeat away from the presidency. Who can forget that Joe Biden released photos of his stomach years before he became vice president?

If Paul Ryan won’t entrust us with 720i HD shots of his rippling delts and bulging lats, then why should we entrust him with entitlement reform? If he can’t display the strength derived from years of P90X training, how can he display America’s strength on the world stage?

Just come clean, Paul. Show America what you're made of.

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