If Suri's Burn Book is not a part of your daily ritual, then you may need to take an earnest look at your life choices.
At HuffPost Celebrity, "Suri" (yes, we know Tom and Katie's 6-year-old isn't the literal evil genius behind the sacred burn book) is always in the back of our minds, whether we're perusing paparazzi photos of Tinseltown's most famous tykes, pondering Kate Middleton's "maybe" baby, or wondering how high "Tom" [Cruise] ranked on her embarrassment meter that day.
She's crushing on Cruz Beckham, hating on Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, pining over Kiernan Shipka and is threatened by Blue Ivy Carter (come on, with her kind of breeding, who wouldn't be?).
This little one is never at a loss for words when it comes to her fellow four-foot-and-under competition. Check out "Suri's Burn Book" monikers (from author Allie Hagan's new book) for her fellow tiny famous faces below. Take cover, Shiloh!
"Mason Disick: The Poser"
"Willow Smith: The Drunken Muppet"
"Ava Jackman: The Carefree Clasher"
"Coco Arquette: The Pantsless Princess"
"Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: The Failure"
"Nahla Aubry: The Hair"
"Louis Bullock: The Dapper Gent"
"Skylar Berman: Le Petit Fleur"
"Honor Warren: The Classy Bohemian"
"Kingston Rossdale: The Renegade"
"Suri's Burn Book"
"Suri's Burn Book" Author, Allie Hagan
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