The bacon doomsday clock is now officially ticking as we count down to Porkocalypse, next year's worldwide bacon shortage predicted this week by the U.K.'s National Pig Association.
The horror! The anguish! We're pulling our hair out just at the thought of bacon-less frying pans the globe over. Which makes us think -- if need be, we may have to start stocking our cellar with bacon products to carry us through the bleak bacon-free days ahead.
Don't worry, we've saved you the trouble of determining how to stock yours. Peruse our below selection for the finest curation of bacon items to help you survive Porkocalypse.
Tamworth Country Cured Bacon
Feast your eyes on the unctuous goodness that is <a href="http://laquercia.us/cuts_belly_pancetta_and_bacon_tamworth_country_cured_bacon">Tamworth country cured bacon</a>, courtesy of artisanal pork purveyors La Quercia. Just look at the gorgeous marbling and imagine the potent flavors of sea salt, bay leaf, rosemary, and black and white pepper! Such fatty, bacon-y goodness! As food blogger Bonnie Farrar writes, it's "the bacon they must order in heaven."
Bacon Bloody Marys
Best stock up on Bloody Mary mix, because you'll be wanting to drink your bacon come Porkocalypse. While you can, we advise you try the one pictured, conjured by D.C. boozy brunch hot spot <a href="http://www.barpilar.com/">Bar Pilar</a>, or this one from Atlanta's <a href="http://www.thenookatlanta.com/">The Nook</a>, which also <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/30/bloody-best-bloody-mary_n_1843307.html">features tater tots and a straw made of beef</a>.
Burger King's Bacon Sundae
Like the worldwide pork supply itself, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/so-good/burger-king-bacon-sundae-review_b_1600304.html">Burger King's Bacon Sundae</a> also has an expiration date. The promotion only goes on for a limited time, so the only reasonable thing to do is run out and buy about a hundred or so and stock them in your freezer. Totally rational.
When Porkocalypse descends upon us in all its horror, you may be forced to go long periods without fresh bacon. Bacon jerky is helpful to have on hand in such times -- we bet this maple <a href="http://www.baconjerky.com/bacon-jerky-flavors.html">hickory smoked country bacon jerky</a> from Bacon Freak has a long shelf life.
If you're going to make your bacon stash last through the cold, lonely nights the Porkocalypse will surely bring, you'd best plan on incorporating the stuff into dishes that'll help spread it out. Take for instance, these lovely bacon maki. Just a bit of bacon in the center goes a long way. <em>Photo by Flickr user <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/gammaman/6866387065/sizes/l/in/photostream/">Gamma Man</a></em>
Oscar Mayer Bacon
It may not be the fanciest of stuff, but that didn't stop comedian <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/15/bacon-barter-comedian-jos_n_1886544.html">Josh Sankey from traveling across the country using the brand's bacon as his only form of currency</a>. Come to think of it, using bacon as currency after its price skyrockets isn't such a bad idea. Forget the gold standard, we want bacon!
Before you start hoarding, we advise you take a cue from southern California burger chain Slater’s 50/50, which recently invented an <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/06/bacon-burger-slaters-50-50_n_1653997.html">all-bacon patty to go in its "'Merica" burger</a>. It's topped, naturally, with a slice of thick cut bacon, bacon cheddar cheese and a slathering of "bacon island" dressing. And a sunny side up egg, but that's not bacon so whatever.
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