Celebrities are notorious for changing their names to more appealing ones all the time, but political figures can't always do that for fear of appearing phony. (God forbid.) That's probably how we ended up with politicians named Schmuck, Assman and Boner (yes, there's a Boehner and a Boner).

Unfortunate politician names can be cringe-worthy, but they can also be hilarious. Just check out the 32 awesomely bad names of political figures below to see what we mean. You'll be surprised that some of these people actually got elected, considering our country's sense of humor is basically that of a 13-year-old boy. Vote for the most ridiculous ones.

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  • Frank Schmuck

    With a name like that, why not go into politics?

  • Lawless

    He entered law school ironically and it just got out of hand from there.

  • Jay Walker

    The first man ever to run on a "no more crosswalks" platform.

  • James Bond

    Worst embedded secret agent ever.

  • Young Boozer

    At least half of his name is a misnomer.

  • Ryan Fattman

    Sutton, MA: Say hello to Rep. Fattman!

  • Shotwell

    He beat his opponent, Bert Alwaysmissedthetarget.

  • Mark Reckless

    We're amazed that this was an isolated incident.

  • Phillip Forgit

    On Election Day, remember to... do... something.

  • Ben Bushyhead

    He's asking you to hire him to work for you, and also to stop laughing.

  • Two Balls And A Cox

    The greatest decision all of these people made was to join forces on this sign.

  • Rodney Assman

    Running against Donald Boobman.

  • Mike Hunt

    Just say it really fast.

  • Dick Swett

    He puts all these other names to shame.

  • Krystal Ball

    How many times do you think she had to answer a joke about whether she knew the outcome of the election?

  • Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh

    We'd vote for her, as she's obviously a person of convictions. In this case, hanging onto a nickname from the second grade.

  • Richard J. Ball

    Think about the nickname for "Richard" and you get the idea.

  • Robin Rape

    Well, Robin got elected once so we guess this name isn't too much of a hindrance.

  • Randy Head

    The rest of his body isn't that randy.

  • Butch Otter

    Don't you hate when you see those feminine otters?

  • Norm Dicks

    Don't worry, everything is normal.

  • Mike Crapo

    Is his nickname really "Crap"? We appreciate him being in on the joke.

  • Harry Baals

    Perfect.

  • Kerry Faggotter

    Yikes.

  • Tiny Kox

    Come on, Tiny. Don't put yourself down like that.

  • Dick Mountjoy

    This guy should have definitely gone into pornography, not politics.

  • Virginia Foxx

    From... North Carolina.

  • Daniel Akaka

    This one's for the Spanish speakers.

  • Bill Boner

    The bone in the "O" is not helping.

  • Mike Beebee

    <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe9qb5yPQgA">"Ay Bay Bay"</a> should have been his campaign song.

  • Dave Obey

    No one really had a choice when it came to voting for Dave.

  • Carmen Vali-Cave

    We appreciate that she married someone who would make her last name super contradictory.

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