Celebrities are notorious for changing their names to more appealing ones all the time, but political figures can't always do that for fear of appearing phony. (God forbid.) That's probably how we ended up with politicians named Schmuck, Assman and Boner (yes, there's a Boehner and a Boner).
Unfortunate politician names can be cringe-worthy, but they can also be hilarious. Just check out the 32 awesomely bad names of political figures below to see what we mean. You'll be surprised that some of these people actually got elected, considering our country's sense of humor is basically that of a 13-year-old boy. Vote for the most ridiculous ones.
With a name like that, why not go into politics?
He entered law school ironically and it just got out of hand from there.
The first man ever to run on a "no more crosswalks" platform.
Worst embedded secret agent ever.
At least half of his name is a misnomer.
Sutton, MA: Say hello to Rep. Fattman!
He beat his opponent, Bert Alwaysmissedthetarget.
We're amazed that this was an isolated incident.
On Election Day, remember to... do... something.
He's asking you to hire him to work for you, and also to stop laughing.
Two Balls And A Cox
The greatest decision all of these people made was to join forces on this sign.
Running against Donald Boobman.
Just say it really fast.
He puts all these other names to shame.
How many times do you think she had to answer a joke about whether she knew the outcome of the election?
Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh
We'd vote for her, as she's obviously a person of convictions. In this case, hanging onto a nickname from the second grade.
Richard J. Ball
Think about the nickname for "Richard" and you get the idea.
Well, Robin got elected once so we guess this name isn't too much of a hindrance.
The rest of his body isn't that randy.
Don't you hate when you see those feminine otters?
Don't worry, everything is normal.
Is his nickname really "Crap"? We appreciate him being in on the joke.
Come on, Tiny. Don't put yourself down like that.
This guy should have definitely gone into pornography, not politics.
From... North Carolina.
This one's for the Spanish speakers.
The bone in the "O" is not helping.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe9qb5yPQgA">"Ay Bay Bay"</a> should have been his campaign song.
No one really had a choice when it came to voting for Dave.
We appreciate that she married someone who would make her last name super contradictory.
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