For some women in their late thirties and early forties, the biological clock just isn't ticking. HuffPost Live host Janet Varney hosted a discussion around this topic Monday and asked some women why they just don't want kids.
"I'm 35 and I've never wanted kids," Nina Manni told her. ""There were times that I thought I had to have kids so I would think about it, but I think when I got to a point where I realized: Oh, I can make my own decision about whether or not I want a family, I was able to really reconcile the fact that I didn't want kids."
Psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish said she sees some women who knew they never wanted children, but were pressured into having children either by their partner or by society.
"They land in my office because problems occur," Dr. Walfish said. "And the reason is: these women...who know they don't want to be mothers, they usually have that feeling for a good reason. And it's generally tied back to their relationships with their mothers and fathers. Something that did not go well in the way they were parented, and they know there is a part of them that either is limited or doesn't have the patience, the nurturing quality, something...a very necessary ingredient that's required to be a mom."
Manni fought back against that characterization, claiming she has a "great relationship" with her mother and thinks she would be an "amazing mother" herself, but reiterating that she just does not want children. She took particular offense when a pregnant friend told her that her position would change if she visited a nursing home and saw some of the patients who did not have children, and thus receive no visitors.
"If all my life comes down to is being alone all the time and the only person visiting me is a child out of biological obligation, that's sad," Manni said.
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