Huffpost Women

9 Ways Hurricane Sandy May Have Been Good For Your Relationship

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HURRICANE RELATIONSHIP
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Sandy, Day 3. If you're in an affected area and survived with your person and property intact, you've likely moved through the initial stages of hurricane grief -- denial, acceptance, terror, relief, stultifying boredom -- and have entered the final stage: homicidal feelings toward the supposed love of your life.

We've heard lots of stories of relationship tension running high over the past 48 hours, but it occurred to us that hurricane-induced house arrest could have the opposite effect on you and your significant other. It could actually be good for your relationship. Wait, don't click away yet. Hear us out on this one:

9 Ways A Hurricane Is Good For A Relationship

1. You realize what the real points of tension are so that you can address them later -- when you are no longer trapped together at home for hours on end.

2. You're forced to ask for what you need, or else you keep getting a concentrated amount of what you don't, without interruption, until normal life resumes. You're better off saying now, without delay, that you could really use fifteen minutes of quiet or that you actually don't think this is the perfect moment to start planning your summer vacation or that you would prefer not to delve into your complicated relationship with your parents right now.

3. As your significant other annoys you for the 90th time, in ways you never imagined, it might (should) make you to wonder what you may be doing that drives him/her nuts and develop greater empathy for his/her annoyance.

4. Emergencies, especially when you emerge relatively unscathed, tend to remind you how precious what you have is.

5. If you suspected before the storm that the two of you might be incompatible, but you weren't sure, being shut up for two days under the same roof could really clarify that for you.

6. If you've taken shelter with other couples also trying to get through this together, you realize that the cliche is true: Everyone, and we mean everyone, has issues.

7. It's a good chance to measure how far the apple falls from the tree. If you ended up sharing a residence with your significant other's parents, either taking them in or taking refuge with them, you probably got a better sense of them -- and how much your significant other takes after them or doesn't. Are they considerate about space, inclusive, generous? More or less anxious than seems appropriate? Able to see the humor of the situation when it presents itself? Think of this time as reconnaissance. Good to know what your future could look like, right?

8. As previously mentioned, hurricane sex. Doing it in the dark, possibly in a bed not your own (apologies, Host/Hostess), possibly by candlelight, possibly under the influence probably made you feel 22 again -- without the STD risk. You'll think back fondly on that tryst for years.

9. It's an opportunity to remind yourself what you've built. In the wake of Sandy's destruction, both of you may be parenting all day long, possibly while trying to do your respective jobs remotely from your living room and cook mac 'n cheese with "no clumps this time, Mom" and not trip over the LEGO amphitheater going up in the hall and not hate each other for the 12 -- 12! -- minutes it took to send that email, not to mention the chewing noise that was never so apparent before this moment.

But if you have even a minute where you feel capable of zooming out, look at the scene and consider the amazing thing you and your significant other have done: You've created a life, this life specifically, for yourself and, if you have them, your kids. It's messy and hard, especially now, but the effort involved makes it more, not less, extraordinary. If you can communicate to your partner that you believe this, the storm will have brought more good than harm to your relationship.

What do you think? Was Sandy good or bad for your relationship? Let us know in the comments below.

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