We know how to make ourselves happy -- but the trick is getting ourselves to do these things. So, here are a few inflexible rules and regulations designed to help you on your way to spontaneous daily bliss.
1. After all clumsy, embarrassing moments, you must curtsy.
2. Call up your best friend once a month -- and play her favorite song, anonymously without one word -- making sure that you hear her rustle, sit-dancing in her office chair.
3. Close your eyes when you drink orange juice. It makes it taste better.
4. Make up a lovable name for your least favorite body part. Like Irene. Nobody hates a thigh named Irene.
5. While you're driving behind a school bus with kids at the windows waving to everyone in cars, you must wave back -- and honk three times.
6. When in doubt, add extra garlic, extra butter or extra bubble bath.
7. Always scan your dimes for the date. Dimes, unlike pennies and quarters, do not tarnish. One that's three times your age gives you a whole new perspective on how to get older -- without losing your shine.
8. To-do lists and angry letters to the phone or electric company must be written in silver glitter ink.
9. You may not leave the house without smelling the top of the head of your child, partner or pet. Inhale their scent (even if it's unwashed) for at least two breaths.
10. Once a year, take yourself out for a mandatory lunch at a restaurant with fancy waiters. Sit at a table for four. Order three courses, including wine and a dish that must be set on fire.
11. If you're watching a comedy, laugh. If you're watching a tearjerker, cry. If you're watching a ballroom dance show, dance -- preferably in some kind of spangled, neon, rhinestone-bedazzled, midriff-baring outfit.
12. Keep your cat, childhood teddy bear or even one of those microfiber cleaning cloths (which, by the way, do work better than plain old rags) in reach at all times. Studies have proven that soft, fuzzy objects defeat the blues.
13. Prior to visiting your parents, you are required to watch Bruce and Esther Huffman from McMinnville, Oregon, test out their new webcam.
14. All stickers offered to you by someone under the age of 13 must be accepted, slapped on and worn for at least one hour. Preferably on your cheek.
15. Never delete accidentally dialed voice messages from family. Listening to your nieces and nephews sing "Jingle Bells" as they walk to school, for example -- complete with thumps and breathing and indecipherable muttering about haircuts -- turns a boring afternoon at work into a visit home.
16. Saying no to cotton candy is strictly forbidden.
17. If you hear a person crying in the bathroom, pass them a wad of tissue under the stall -- without a word.
18. Each time you pass a street musician playing the instrument that you quit as a child, place one crisp, full dollar in the cup and wait until the absolute end of the song to applaud.
19. Always note how the foam on a cappuccino magically parts when you add sugar, then closes right back up.
20. At least once in your life, pour a bottle of dish soap into a bubbling outdoor public fountain.
21. Never go to bed without looking up at the ceiling and thanking it for keeping out the rain.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.