By: Stephanie Pappas, LiveScience Senior Writer
Published: 12/10/2012 03:28 PM EST on LiveScience
If your partner is sensitive, cooperative and supportive, congratulations: He or she will probably be a good parent.
The same skills that make people successful romantic partners also make them good parents, a new study finds. The research shows that people who are insecure in their romantic relationships are more likely to use less-than-ideal parenting styles.
"If you can do responsive care-giving, it seems that you can do it across different relationships," study researcher Abigail Millings of the University of Bristol said in a statement. Responsive care-giving includes being cooperative without being bossy, noticing your romantic partner's needs and supporting them.
Millings and her colleagues focused on attachment, a psychological concept that describes people's relationships to one another. Someone with attachment avoidance, for example, puts up barriers and denies the need to be close to their partner. Someone with attachment anxiety, on the other hand, would be clingy and insecure in their relationship, constantly sure that they'll be abandoned.
The ideal model is a secure attachment, which is low in both anxiety and avoidance. Securely attached people are free to be independent in their relationships, but also feel sure the other person will be there for them.
Because families are dynamic mixes of relationships, Millings and her colleagues wanted to know if parents' attachment to each other would affect their parenting styles with their children. Previous research has shown that attachment avoidance and anxiety are linked with more fear about parenting, as well as parenting struggles. An anxiously attached mom or dad might have trouble letting their child explore the world independently, for example. An avoidant parent might come across as cold or distant.
The researchers asked 125 English couples with kids ages 7 to 8 to fill out surveys about their romantic attachment to their partners, their romantic care-giving and their parenting styles. Psychologists break parenting styles into three broad categories: Authoritarian, which is marked by an old-school "spare the rod and spoil the child" attitude in which strict discipline is best way to raise a kid; permissive, which sets few boundaries; and authoritative, which involves setting boundaries in a warm and loving environment. [10 Scientific Tips for Raising Happy Kids]
Authoritative parenting is considered ideal, because it has been linked with better mental health and more success for kids. And sure enough, the study found that when parents were more avoidant or anxious in their own romantic relationships, they were less likely to deploy authoritative parenting.
The level of romantic care-giving in the parental relationship drove the link between romance and parenting, the researchers reported online Dec. 6 in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Avoidant and anxious parents took less care of each other, showing less cooperation and less sensitivity to each other's moods and needs. This lack of care-giving, in turn, was linked to a greater propensity for authoritarian or permissive parenting, and lower likelihood of the ideal authoritative style.
"It might be the case that practicing being sensitive and responsive — for example, by really listening and by really thinking about the other person's perspective — to our partners will also help us to improve these skills with our kids," Millings said in the statement. "But we need to do more research to see whether the association can actually be used in this way."
The researchers next plan to explore how care-giving and parenting relate in families without a two-parent structure. Single parents can, after all, have great relationships with their kids without having a spouse. But if improving one type of relationship does spill over and improve other types of relationships, the findings could be important in designing counseling or self-help treatments, the researchers said.
Follow Stephanie Pappas on Twitter @sipappas or LiveScience @livescience. We're also on Facebook & Google+.
Copyright 2012 LiveScience, a TechMediaNetwork company. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. ]]>
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.