Abby Huntsman hosted a discussion on HuffPost Live to discuss what adoptive parents can do to regain some of their rights and privacy in the age of the internet. She was joined by Carrie Goldman, adoptive mother and blogger at “Portrait of an Adoption.” Goldman decided to have an open adoption, and initially found that maintaining boundaries with her daughter’s birth mother was a struggle.
“Her birth mom called me every day. She wanted to find out how the baby was, see how things were going. And I was trying to adjust to being a new mom,” Goldman shared. “I couldn’t even find time to talk to my own mom everyday, much less my daughter’s birth mom. And it felt overwhelming.”
With open communication, Goldman was able to work out a calling schedule with her daughter’s birth mother that they still adjust over time. And now that her daughter is old enough to understand that she has two mothers, another layer of complication has been added to the mix.
“I know she loves and adores me," Goldman said. “But the fact is with my nine-year-old who is adopted, when she’s mad at me, she’ll yell at me, ‘I want to go live with my birth mom.’ And where it was a slap in the face the first time, now I know it’s just like, what kids say. It’s like a child of divorce yelling to the parent, I wish I lived with dad, or mom, when they’re mad.”