Romance is a lovely thing, but truth is, love can be expressed in many forms. And for many midlifers, a dozen roses is just so yesterday. So we did a little out-of-the-box thinking and came up with this list of five Valentine's Day gifts for midlifers with their needs specifically in mind. Trust us, they'll love you for it.
For midlifers who lose their phones.
Why yes, it happens to the best of us. While Millenials may be able to to jam their iPhone into the pocket of their skinny jeans, midlifers are still tossing it into the great cavernous gorge known as their oversized tote bag. Ha! Fat chance of fishing it out before it stops ringing. So along comes a great solution: Wear it around your neck on one of these nifty lanyards; remember when you used to make them at day camp when you were a kid? The silicone lanyards that securely hold your iPhone come in a rainbow of colors and retail for $15; the fancier bling ones sell for about $24. The website can tell you who carries them near you although if you fill out the online contact form and tell them you heard about it here, owner Cheryl Bloxberg says she'll sell to you directly. Case Kraze also sells Stylus Pluggies for $12.00 for those of us with fat thumbs.
Fortune cookies are the original tweets, so who needs Twitter?
This falls under the building a better mousetrap heading. Super Accurate Fortune Cookies bills itself as the smartest cookies on Earth. Started by Ray Richmond, whose job title is cookie scholar, these Chinese fortune cookies provide some choice words about life in Los Angeles, New York and Las Vegas. They've just introduced a Valentine Day line with such zingers as "This strikes you as not quite as thoughtful as flowers." Great packaging -- a Chinese food takeout box -- 10 cookies for under $10.
Something that beats a foot rub.
OK, nothing actually beats a foot rub in our book, but we are pretty interested in the Walking Tall Soft Step® Foot Corrector, which promises foot, knee, hip and ankle pain will be gone in one minute -- all accomplished by sticking a piece of plastic in your shoes. The orthotics operate on the premise that with proper foot support comes perfect posture, balance and body alignment. The company owners love to talk about arches, fallen and otherwise, but we're just sticking with the basics: They don't make your feet sweat, don't get stinky, and fit into 95 percent of the footwear on the market. Check them out. Price: $350.
The Cadillac of massage chairs.
We like to road-test massage chairs. We mostly like to road-test them when we are walking around malls and convention centers and need to take a load off our feet for a few minutes and there aren't any normal chairs available. But that's how we came to meet Taku Ino, president of TK World, and manufacturer of the Cadillac of massage chairs. This thing had more bells and whistles and massaged us in parts we had forgotten we had. Price tag, not an inexpensive $9,500, but this is a chair you can have a relationship with.
Time is passing.
We need watches with faces large enough for us to actually see the time flying by. We are partial to the collection at Hour Power because they not only have big watch faces, but they also sentimentalized the watch by adding a spot for a photo and a little love message to be recorded. Gets a big "awwwwwww" in our book. Many models are water-resistent, but the occasions when we forget to remove them before stepping in the shower. Price: Ranges, but around $100.
Case Kraze Landyards
Like most of us, does your partner have a problem holding on to their phone? Help them prevent another frantic trip to the Apple store by getting them this phone holding landyard. With this trendy landyard your partner can wear their phone around their neck, ensuring that it never gets too far away and they always answer your calls.
A Massage Chair
Tired of giving your partner grueling late night massages? Ensure that they never ask you for one again by getting them the Cadillac of massage chairs. Complete with more features than we know what to do with, this massage chair will put an end to your partner's backaches.
A Portable Foot Rub
What if we told you your partner could alleviate their foot, knee, hip and ankle pain in one minute, just by putting this piece of plastic in their shoe? You would want to rush to the computer and buy it, right? <a href="http://www.walkingtall.net/soft.htm">Well -- what are you waiting for</a>?
Super Accurate Fortune Cookies
While these fortune cookies might not help your partner learn Chinese, they are realistic and bound to make your partner laugh.
A Sentimental Watch
With a Hour Power watch, your partner can carry a picture of you, inspiring message or lucky symbol wherever they go.