Are you having trouble getting laid? Maybe you're just not "fresh" enough down there.
That's the message coming from "Fresh + Sexy wipes," a new product from Playtex designed for use before and after sexual activity. The special wipes, which come in a tub for bedside use or in individually wrapped "on the go" packets, don't appear to differ much from regular old baby wipes, aside from the "sexy" branding.
According to a marketing director quoted in the press release, the wipes were designed to "address an important consumer need." Uh huh. So important that human beings have managed to get it on without this essential product in their daily lives!
But with taglines like "Clean Beavers Get More Wood," Playtex' ads don't mince words about why you need their wipes:
You have to be clean to get laid, and your normal shower routine just won't cut it.
While the ads target both sexes, women have long been inundated with advertising about keeping their vagina from smelling "bad." Ads for douches, which most obstetricians and gynecologists discourage women from using, often suggest that a woman's vagina is not clean enough in its natural state. One particularly egregious ad from Summer's Eve recommends women douche before asking for a raise at work.
The truth, which physicians and most women and we're guessing Playtex knows already, is that the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. Special wipes and rinses may be a personal preference, but they are not necessary to be "clean." And they are certainly not necessary to get laid.
Here are four of Playtex' ads for the new wipes below. Let us know what you think in the comments.