It's not like he'd fight four armed men just for the halibut.

Englishman John Wood, 37, told the Wisbech Standard he fought off four muggers singlehandedly -- literally, since his other hand was clutching a container of fish and chips he had just purchased.

While the story almost sounds too unbelievable to be true, who are we to question a Brit's valiant defense of his fish and chips? Wood said he had just walked out of Frank's Fish & Chip Shop in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire on Thursday when four men approached and asked for his wallet.

Wood told the BBC that his phone happened to go off at that exact moment, and the muggers demanded he hand it over in addition to the wallet.

"The irony," Wood said, "was it was my fiancee who messaged me saying, 'be careful -- it's dangerous out there'."

Wood says he told the attackers to "come and get it," and the four men all rushed at him at once. Not one to let himself get battered, Wood reportedly used the aikido skills he learned as a teen to kick two of them in the knees, sending them to the ground.

By Wood's account, he knocked down a third before the fourth man stabbed him in the side with what doctors believe was a sharpened screwdriver. He then disarmed the man, he added, before jumping in his car and driving away.

"I didn't even drop the chips,' he told the Standard. "It was all done one-handed."

His fiancee, Claire Upton, told the BBC that Wood arrived home and initially refused to go to the hospital, but later drove himself there.

Police are still investigating the incident.

While Wood's tale might sound like a load of bollocks--or in this case "pollocks"--even crazier self-defense stories have been reported.

In August, a 7-year-old girl in Atlanta was saved from a would-be kidnapper when her 12-year-old sister and another girl, age 9, sprang to her aid.

Also on HuffPost:

Loading Slideshow...
  • Helen Collins

    In April 2012, 81-year-old John Collins suffered a heart attack while flying his small plane over Wisconsin. His wife, Helen, 80, was in the passenger's seat. Helen had no pilot's license, and had only undergone basic take-off and landing training thirty years prior. But with fuel running low and the right engine out, Helen calmly landed the plane, with assistance from aviation officials. Tragically, John Collins passed away that day. Helen suffered a back injury and cracked rib, and has since gained national attention for her unbelievable poise and control.

  • Food Delivery Hero

    Anuson "Knott" Poolsawat is the owner of Knott's Take Out in North Pole, Alaska. Look at that picture there. Is this the kind of man who would let a little thing like a flood stop him from delivering delicious Thai food to hungry Alaskans? NO. <a href="" target="_blank">Click here to read the whole story.</a>

  • Tom Guzzi

    Tom Guzzi, who is legally blind, defended his home from armed robbers using a kitchen pot as a weapon. Despite being home alone, the quick-thinking Guzzi also shouted, "John, call the police," in order to trick the robbers into thinking someone else was home. <a href="">Read more here.</a>

  • Iravia Cotton

    Girl Scout Iravia Cotton shoulc have gotten a merit badge in vigilantism. When Cotton, 15, realized a pair of thieves at stolen the cash box containing her cookie money, she and fellow Girl Scout Rachel Johnson chased the culprits down. <a href="">Read more here.</a>

  • Pauline Bragg

    When Pauline Bragg, a 52-year-old mother of one awoke to find an intruder in her home, she sprang up and chased him out of her house. Once outside, she wrestled the burglar to the ground. Despite getting hit with a two-by-four, Bragg managed to pin the man down until police arrived. Read more here.

  • Granny Lulu Campbell

    A pair of armed men were in for a surprise when they found themselves in a shoot-out with a 57-year-old grandmother. Lulu Campbell says she was dropping off her granddaughter when someone outside her car demanded money and then shot at her, but unbeknownst to him, Granny was also packing heat. She shot right back, striking him in the chest, and a second man fled when Campbell shot at him as well. <a href="">Read more here.</a>

  • Johanna Quaas

    This 86-year-old isn't taking old age lying down. . Instead, she's taking it spinning, jumping and twirling -- on the parallel bars, no less. The white-haired wonder wowed the audience during her gymnastics exhibition at the 2012 Cottbus World Cup in March. <a href="">Read more here.</a>