WOMEN
02/23/2013 05:29 pm ET

How You Feel When Your Ex Is Nominated For An Oscar

Watching major sporting events, I always wonder what happens to the losers’ hats. By the end of the Super Bowl, the winning coach is covered in ice, his quarterback is grinning in a “World Champions” cap, and somewhere, I imagine, a team of waterboys are scrambling to hide the unused hats designed in case the other guys won.

I imagine something similar happens to famous people’s exes, the woman next to the man — until she wasn’t. And somewhere, languishing in a closet full of unknown hats, there’s a pile of women discarded by ambitious men. (And vice versa.) They’re the unknown Mia Farrows, Jennifer Anistons, and Taylor Swift dumpees. But because Taylor Swift won’t write a song about them, they will simply be forgotten.

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